:)

my summer in youtube videos.

2010-07-27T16:31:00.003-04:00

the summer has been about learning and joining new things.
here they are in the form of youtube videos (and no, the last one does not mean i have been learning to grow a mustache):

the birth of inner cow

2010-05-16T23:47:00.001-04:00

*a paper from my nonfiction class

“Does this suit make me look fat?” I jokingly asked, striking a Marilyn Monroe-esque pose.

“The cow is not supposed to talk,” Jeanie whispered. “And you’re a cow, so yes you look fat.” I turned to look at my reflection in the restaurant window. Instead of my usual frizzy brown-haired and high school senior self staring back at me, there was a cow—a seven-foot Chick-Fil-A cow, sporting an XXXL t-shirt with the words “Eat Mor Chikin” on the front and back.

Jeanie took me by my cow-mittened hand and walked me out to the dining area—a little mingling with the customers was customary before heading out to the street corner. I always found close encounters with the customers to be the most stressful part of being a Chick-Fil-A cow. Not all kids run with open arms to embrace the large fuzzy cow; a healthy number bury their faces in mom’s shirts, crying and screaming as if I would pass on mad cow disease. There must be a risk for lawsuit in relation to those issues becaus my boss would always stress caution among children.

When kids weren’t running away screaming, they pulled on my tail, hugged my leg, held my hand—parents love to take pictures of their kids with the cow. Everyone crowds around the cow, and the camera goes up. The photographer instructs, “Cheeeeese.” The first night I wore the cow suit, it wasn’t until about the fifth picture I realized: they can’t see me smile.

Four components made up the cow suit. The cow head was rather large—the size of, well, an actual cow’s head—and it was fixed on a base looking and intending to be worn like football shoulder pads. The wearer’s eyelevel came at the cow’s snout level, where there was mesh to allow for limited viewing of the world outside the suit. I could tilt my head back a little bit and look up into the cow head. There dangled a mini fan, much like the handheld ones you’d see moms holding at soccer games. You get used to the constant whirr of it after about 5 minutes.

Next came the body suit. Akin to a fleece footy pajama—but much heavier and more suffocating—this was pulled on with the help of a partner because of a back zipper and the limited range of motion caused by the shoulder pads. Us first shift-ers were coveted because second shift cows had to endure a suit dampened by the sweat of the first. You don’t even want to think about third shift.

Fuzzy cow gloves and furry over-sized cow slip-on shoes finished off the look. The gloves only had four fingers. I never understood this, and my five-fingered hands didn’t appreciate it.

Due to potential health hazards in the cow suit—mostly dehydration and claustrophobia-induced insanity common in amateurs—shifts in the suit were limited to thirty minutes. On the 355 particularly warm days out of the year in Southern California, an ice vest was added to the get-up. This keeps the body’s core temp at a non-lethal level and reduces the amount of sweat released from two gallons to one. And the cow always travels with a partner. That first day, mine was Jeanie.

“Hi cow! Hi cow!” Typically an insult, “Hi cow!’ was the standard greeting from six- to ten-year-olds, and it quickly melted my soul. As did the little girl who pressed my paw to her face and looked up into my eyes: “I love you cow.” When she released my paw, I moved quickly to wipe a tear from my eye. The tear fell untouched, the cow head preventing my actual hand from making contact with my actual face. I must have looked as if I were saluting my audience.

My time in the restaurant ended quickly, and Jeanie led me out to the street corner—Gridley and South, one of the busier corners in Cerritos. As I fumbled in my cow shoes and alternated my entire body from side to side in order to manage the limited peripherals, I realized why partners were important. If a cow fell, there would be no getting up without help.

“Do your thing,” Jeanie spoke under her breath. She seemed embarrassed, but I think she was jealous. I was the one with the hidden identity, and it’s amazing what one can do with a hidden identity. At that moment, I discovered what I like to call my inner cow.

Inner cow was capable of dance moves that I, my bovine-less self, was not: line dancing, thriller, break dancing, disco. They honked—I’d do the moonwalk. They waved—I’d give them the chicken dance. Then it was interpretive dance, ballet, Macarena, can-can. If you can think of it, I probably tried it in that 30-minute time span.

I like to believe that my dancing was awakening the desire for chicken sandwiches in those driving by. Half of me expected to see cars slamming on their breaks, making a quick u-turn and heading in to the restaurant. I could picture a “Cow of the Month” award because I was boosting sales.

But there wasn’t a lot of that. There was more honking. And little kids with their faces pressed against the car windows or sticking their hands out the window to wave.

The suit fit me well. It awakened something in me that didn’t care what people saw. Having a hidden identity was thrilling. If I could arrange it, I would make sure that every person could spend 30 minutes in a cow suit on a street corner.

I wasn’t ready to go in, and I wasn’t overheating just yet, but my shift was up. Jeanie took my hand and led me back to the restaurant. Again I was smiling, and though Jeanie couldn’t see my face, I think she knew: “You enjoy this too much.”

fifth third river bank run

2010-05-08T15:54:00.002-04:00

Over 21,100 gathered in downtown Grand Rapids today to partake in a 5k, 10k or 25k. Naturally, there were additional thousands there to spectate--meaning an all in all busy city. Lindsey and I were among the racing thousands, more specifically among those treading a non-metric distance of 6.2 miles. Cold and spitty weather left runners dancing in the minutes before the horn resounded. And even once it did, all of us poised to run were forced walk--shuffle at the most--in the crammed mass of bodies that didn't spread out for at least half a minute. At the first turn we were off, Lindsey jesting, "It's like the running of the bulls!" We quickly found the pace we'd keep as we ran a weave through the city, to the zoo, around some residential zones, across the river--not dropping the steady cadence until we crossed the finish line.

Another one down, and as usual, another one planned--this one a half marathon in South Bend, Indiana.

habitat for sanity

2010-05-07T10:40:00.003-04:00

After a week of learning light-switch locations, mapping out cupboards and unpacking the final details, I think it is safe to say we are settling in. New neighbors, new commute, new walls, floors and doors--it all came just in time. Monotony (among other things in our last house) was threatening my sanity, and I think this move shook things up a bit.

I've changed my address with the important people (my bank and netflix), and if you don't ever hear from me with a new address notification, well, take that as a hint. Just kidding.

Three days of classes and two papers are all that stand between me and summer. No exams, no studying... I like being a Rhetoric major. As far as this summer goes, though, who knows. Naturally I'd like to go a few new places, but we'll have to see about that. Why is airfare so stinkin' expensive? Aside from a summer course and working at the climbing wall, not too much is planned. Maybe that leaves room for some spur of the moment trips? I think it's about time I visit the Upper Peninsula, or even our northern neighbor, or the east coast, or the northwest.

So if you're in michigan, stop by for a visit and see the new place--it's quite fantastic if I may say so myself.

climb time

2010-04-21T09:30:00.001-04:00

red river gorge, kentucky

click on slideshow to the right to see all the pics

a few pics for a few missed days

2010-04-11T12:12:00.005-04:00

sickness, homework and travel kept me from getting a few pics up these past few days--but worry not, for new pictures are here.

these are pictures from a marathon relay some of us did on saturday morning. yes, on the morning of my 21st birthday, i woke up at 5:30am and ran my part (5 miles) in a marathon relay. While many might cringe at such an unorthodox way to celebrate, I loved it--it was a blast. The race was followed by a trip to Ikea--another favorite place of mine that isn't close to grand rapids but was close to our race in dearborn, mi (detroit area). All in all, a fantastic (and tiring) birthday.

lots of martians on the course.
medals.
roomies. the runner's high didn't last too long--we are fairly sore today
the team
just under 4 hours!

today: beginning with 2:35 AM thunderstorm :)

2010-04-06T19:23:00.003-04:00

gotta click on it to see it biggerand this is hail--not a bunch of mothballs.
animal crackers from my pops to make me feel better!

how is my nephew not on here yet?

2010-04-05T22:23:00.000-04:00

my nephew, Ray.

april is for adventure

2010-04-04T18:01:00.003-04:00

It has been a little quiet in the outdoor adventure area of my life lately. This month, though, I do have a few trips planned.

Next weekend marks a step in to another level of adulthood--my 21st birthday. I will be running in a marathon relay with Lindsey and four others. I find running a race to be one of my top ways to celebrate--tshirts, medals, free sport drinks, competition, buzz, commotion. Love it.

Five days of marching through classes and dutifully showing up to work after race-weekend puts me in a car for an extended amount of time on my way to Kentucky Trip #1. Only 3 days long, the trip is focused on trad leading (climbing). It'll be my first trip to Red River Gorge (a premier climbing spot), so I am stoked.

Surviving another 5 days of routine after that lands me back in the car and on my way to the Red for Kentucky Trip #2... this time a solid 5-6 day trip, it'll be climbing, chilling, camping, and climbing.

The trick is, midst all these trips, i've got articles to work on, papers to write, tests to take, and boxes to pack--May 1st is the big move in day for Lindsey and me. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. A little pre-packing this weekend got me set to just make the move already.

Did I mention the weather has been unnaturally pleasant?

And that I think I am getting sick?

mail time

2010-04-04T11:32:00.000-04:00

no class today--time for the slackline!

2010-04-02T20:35:00.000-04:00

80s today. and part 2

2010-04-01T22:22:00.004-04:00

grand river, downtown grand rapids (one block from where i work).

this is at 12:30pm on a weekday... lunch hour.

grand rapids was voted 6th best fishing city in the nation.

PART 2:

what did we see?

spaceship acorn was inspiring

tiny town was empowering (and in someone's backyard)

giant coffee pot was humbling

paperweight museum was fragile

y-bridge was confusing

jean bonnett tavern was haunted

and hershey town was delicious.

i love these things--roadside attractions. though some of these took some finding. the acorn? randomest thing ever, way back in the farm hills of pennsylvania. it's just sitting on the side of a little road. apparently there was a gift shop, but we missed it.

jean bonnett tavern was an unplanned site. lindsey had picked it out of the hotel information magazine because the menu looked good. but it wasn't just a fabulous meal. it was a historic tavern/bed and breakfast--an old building filled with stories and ghosts. yes, ghosts. check it out here: http://www.jeanbonnettavern.com/ We explored the building after dinner, straining our eyes for supernatural sightings, trying to tap in to a sixth sense. No luck. It was one of my favorite stops though.

hershey, PA: the town that smells of chocolate. we rode the factory tour ride twice, ate the free samples, mingled among chocolate merchandise, and hung our jaws at the site of bowl-sized peanut butter cups and nearly coffee-table-sized hershey bars. life is not complete until you visit hershey town.

70s today.

2010-03-31T20:26:00.001-04:00

junk mail and sunshine

2010-03-30T19:33:00.001-04:00

the collection thus far

2010-03-29T21:52:00.002-04:00

could it be? spring flowers?

2010-03-28T15:08:00.002-04:00

wednesday in hershey world

2010-03-27T23:52:00.000-04:00

pic and part 1

2010-03-26T22:13:00.005-04:00

bowling in versailles, ohio.

PART 1 of the ROAD TRIP

Road trips. I’m a fan of them.

I like the bump and sway caused by cracks and divots in the road. Occasional clicking of the blinker. A Constant, low roar of tires on pavement drowning out the radio. The radio forever plagued with static—a natural side effect of covering a lot of miles, constantly driving in and out of range of obscure stations.

This particular road trip was from Greenville, Ohio to Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania.

In the back was our bag of fuel, something to the tune of peanut butter, jelly, bread, cookies and juice boxes. In the front, the driver and passenger. Miles of road could go by where the only words spoken were those sung along to familiar songs found on the radio. There was also the casual, “Do you have to go to the bathroom?” …AKA… “I have to go to the bathroom.”

I always like to figure out the tone of the car ride before too many miles go by. Some people like to chat chat chat their way to Chattanooga, others prefer a comfortable silence while snoozing is yet another choice. Asking a single “What if” question is how I tend to gauge what to expect. The chatters will take the question and turn it into a philosophical, soul-searching conversation, the silents respond with an indifferent “I dunno” and/or a shrug, and the snoozers are out before the question is even spoken.

I really don’t mind any of the various types and have myself dabbled in the practice of each of them. The thing is, you’ve gotta know what your dealing with—otherwise you chat up a silent and annoy the crap out of them, you ignore a chatter and scare them, or you wake a snoozer and—well, never wake a snoozer.

“Hey Lindsey. If you could live in any state, which would it be?”

With a tinge of obvious stress (she's not a big fan of these kinds of questions), “I don’t like to think about that. I don’t know.”

“Okay, you just have to live there a year?”

“Stop.”

“A month?”

“Stop!”

I laughed. I turned up the radio a notch, sat back and enjoyed the blur of farm fields and trees in a comfortable silence. The occasional cow or funny sign would spark a conversation here and there. It was a good car ride.

tiny town, pennsylvania

2010-03-25T22:07:00.001-04:00

note size of cat.

bedford, pennsylvania

2010-03-24T21:07:00.000-04:00

acorn spaceship

2010-03-23T22:13:00.004-04:00

kecksburg, pennsylvania

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/16860

*this was only one of today's many exciting stops... stories to come soon.

bridge again

2010-03-22T21:05:00.001-04:00

ohio's longest covered bridge

2010-03-21T19:23:00.001-04:00

and so begins "a picture a day"

2010-03-20T23:39:00.002-04:00

today in berlin, ohio.

birthdays and barns

2010-03-15T21:39:00.004-04:00

line dancing. have you ever tried it?

two weeks in a row now a group of us have gone to the farm museum in coopersville (or cooperstown, i can't quite remember). and yes, i said farm museum--complete with tractors, quilts, fake cows, and pie graphs about corn.

our group excluded, the average age of those who attend is probably around the upper 60s. they've been delighted to have such young'ins around. we've become known amidst the group--the college girls. we're the ones who are a bit more aerobic with our movements, aka we move our hips.

so line dancing. that's what it was until we showed up. the first night, it took a while to pick up on how it's all supposed to work, turning it in to more of "blob" dancing. but by the second week, these girls were old pros. we might not have shiny belt buckles, boots, or hats--but we do have enthusiasm.

. . . .

my buddy lindsey just had her birthday this past weekend. i tell ya, this kid is pretty cool, and it was a blast celebrating yet another year of life completed. i like celebrating the birthdays of other people. so much fun.

. . . .

the internship--not too much going on there, still a lot of the same stuff... writing, writing and more writing.

i'll tell you what... i am ready for spring break. a week of no classes, no work? yes please! hopefully it will still be warm like it has been for two weeks now. i think it's time to bring out the bike, and, maybe, the unicycle.

. . . .

question of the day:

you are eating m&ms one at a time. you get down to the last three. two are blue, and one is yellow. what color do you eat next?

i have a theory about this...

why no post in a while?

2010-03-06T16:58:00.002-05:00

i know, it's been forever since i last posted. why is that?

sorry, i've been busy wearing flip-flops and t-shirts, turning my face to the sun, and walking particularly slow. every single day of march so has been warm and sunny, and a glance at the forecast reveals the mercury will keep rising and the skies will continue to stay clear of clouds.

march came and the weather turned a corner--could it be, could winter be over? most shake their head--no, it cannot be. it is but march, and a typical winter brings snow through april sometimes.

i like to hope, though. not that i dread winter; i'm just ready to spend more time outside.

well the sun is only up for so many hours a day--why couldn't i have updated at night? well, i must confess that netflix instant play is to blame for that. more specifically, the bbc robin hood tv series. i shan't begin to go into it though. just know it is my favorite tv show ever (that's right--i used bold print) and i wish to drop out of college and become a common outlaw in robin's band of merry men. i have the sudden urge to learn archery as well. the middle school pe unit wasn't enough. middle school, or high school... i can't remember.

anyway, with only one season left of robin hood to go through, you will likely see a lot more of me on the blog again. and if this early spring turns out to be but a dormant winter, you can surely expect more updates.

february

2010-02-26T23:10:00.002-05:00

a new semester, first publications, and a nephew--february was a fairly filled month. funny how that works out, what with it having the fewest days of all the months.

ray andrew galatioto, my nephew, was born today. actually, he was born in japan on february 27 (which was feb 26 here), so we kind of get to celebrate his birthday again tomorrow. he's the first of the next generation in my family, the start of another branch on the family tree. i can't wait to begin fulfilling the new role of aunt.

the march issue of grand rapids magazine went out this week, and it was the first issue my work showed up in. i have heard mixed stories about people's "first publishing" experiences. a week ago my supervisor had actually came to my desk and handed me the issue--she could tell I was fairly excited. my first publishing experience was definitely memorable. seeing my name in glossy print (a few times in this issue) made that spot right below my sternum well up with a kind of thrill. at the same time though, i experienced something i've heard in nearly every other "first publishing" story. looking at my articles, all i could think of was, "i want to do it again, and i want to do it better."

i like the periodical publishing industry--a lot. time to step it up.

writer's block

2010-02-15T20:56:00.001-05:00

An honest pen is hard to come by. A block often wedges itself between mind and pen. It catches the raw and revealing insight mustered from the core of our being. Until I find a way through it, I am incapable of writing.

No, I am not at a loss for words. Moreover, a million words are wrestling in my conscience at any given moment. I think it’s more a matter of my words being lost—lost, or perhaps cowering in some obscure corner of my thoughts. Clearly, it’s a case of page fright. My reputation—my very identity—is being held up at ballpoint. No words want to be forged under such pressure.

Yet it is a writing exercise like this that reminds me there is no reason to be pun-shy—where there is a quill, there is a way.

Huzzah! I’ve found the gap in the block. It is time to write.

[live] animal sighting

2010-02-09T12:04:00.002-05:00

When the coyote trotted up, all I could manage was a wide-eyed stare. It heard her. “Lindsey. Lindsey. Lindsey, look!” My roommate, who had jokingly howled not but ten minutes earlier, was still in the tent while I melted some snow for hot chocolate. I must have startled it as much as it me—he darted back the way he came. Part of me had wanted to lure him over for a game of fetch; another part of me wanted to run screaming into the tent for cover. Though the coyote was gone, I resorted to the latter, but with more a squeal of delight in the wild I just witnessed.

dinner time

2010-02-03T23:11:00.000-05:00

After 8 o’clock, dinner options dwindle. The pot roast requires too much time, ratatouille takes too much work, and ordering yet another pizza costs too much money. Peanut butter and jelly is a quick fix; however, why have for dinner what was for breakfast and lunch? Most give up by now. Indecision will undoubtedly lead to starvation. That’s when the desperate raiding of the fridge happens; if it can be microwaved in a minute or less, it’s dinner.

bowling

2010-01-31T17:38:00.004-05:00

Rolling thunder, spontaneous crashing, a heavy fog of smoke... and have you ever noticed that it is impossible to feel like you are in any other decade but the 80s when you go bowling? It's not just because of the unimaginably old and colored carpet with stars on it or the dinosaurs of televisions hanging above each lane--there are still the cliched bowling leagues where the people still have mullets, the shirts are still tucked in to whitewashed jeans, and the alcohol flows between frames.

there is no such thing as a modern bowling alley. and that's part of what makes the bowling experience so great.

This week I went bowling for the first time since the summer before freshman year of college. Long time. Very long time. My first two games sucked horribly, and to be honest, I wasn't the happiest camper. I'm not a big fan of not being good at something (competitive much?), and I'm definitely not a fan of having a first-generation color TV tell me I'm not good at something. I think color TV might be stretching it... is there such thing as a blue-and-white TV?

The third game made up for my frustrating scores of 63 and 54... I bowled 5 strikes in a row. My competitive tendencies want to brag. But I will leave it at that.

The lane next to us was occupied by a couple of parents who brought four children to bowl. Have you ever watched children bowl? Generally speaking, there are three techniques children employ when bowling.

#1) The Demolisher: This is the kid who, despite the disproportion between the mass of child and that of the bowling ball, manages to run full speed and launch the ball in the direction of the pins--the child remains fixated on the ball (however slow it may be travelling), and awaits the glorious moment of impact the the child thrives on.

#2) The Hit and Run-er: This is the kid that approaches timidly, drops the ball at their feet (with hardly any forward momentum) and then runs away to hide behind mommy, not even interested in the end result. For them, the fun is in carrying a heavy object and then releasing it--who cares about knocking pins over.

#3) The Second-Thinker: Upon releasing the bowling ball, the child regrets the decision and chases the ball down the lane, learning the painful lesson of traction-less bowling lanes. This is usually a brief phase, and the kid will generally resort to one of the first two techniques mentioned after learning the startling lesson of traction (or lack thereof).

Adults approach bowling much differently. I will only go into one type, though. This is the type that believes there is still some shred of control over the bowling ball after release and display such belief through leaning left, kicking their leg out right, turning the head, crouching down, waving the hands... yes, somehow leaning to the left will make the ball go left.

It's rather ridiculous, yet a lot of people (including myself) do this. Absurd, really. I control the release with a specific target in mind, dislike the path the ball is taking, and then flail my body about as if I can somehow control it and change the course.

on the list

2010-01-29T22:58:00.004-05:00

I went to open the door. It was locked. I waited for the lady standing on the other side of the door to open it.

She opened the door and looked at me, waiting for me to identify myself.

"I'm with Grand Rapids Magazine."

She looked down at her clipboard. Looked up. "And your name?"

"Cristina Stavro."

She looked down at her clipboard and then smiled as she highlighted my name, "Welcome Ms. Stavro." And with that, she led me through a second set of locked doors where I found myself in the company of three cameramen from local TV stations (and their respective anchorwomen), a reporter and photographer from Grand Rapids Press, and a handful of other people pulling together this Press Junket.

A large sign reading "Welcome Media!" stood next to a table where I was asked to pick up my badge. It was my Front of the House Press Pass, and my name was on it.

Matt Giraud, a singer who placed fifth on American Idol last season, was performing a concert later that night but was holding a Press Junket at 2:30 first. He's somewhat of a local guy (from Kalamazoo--hour away).

To be honest, I know nothing about American Idol... I've even stopped watching those first episodes you watch just to see the sucky people. What season are they on anyway... tenth? Twelfth? Anyway, never heard of this guy, but I still felt like this was a big deal.

And it was.

So he performed two songs for just the press, and then we all had time to sit with Matt and interview him.

I was pretty nervous for the interview. The three TV stations and the GR Press went before me, so I got to watch and listen in on what their interviews were like.

Something that caught my attention was the technology present at this junket. There were photographers and camera guys using their ipods to record snippets of the performance and interviews... snippets that would go on TV. There were the usual large video cameras, but I just couldn't get over this one guy using his ipod for one of the stations.

The interview went well, and this Matt guy was really nice, so that made it a bit easier.

I loved being on that list. It was sweet. And it was even cooler to have a badge and be able to say, "I'm so and so with blah blah blah." Cool stuff.

http://www.fox17online.com/news/

go here, scroll down to the video of the guy on the piano (its really big). watch it. i was right next to them when they were interviewing, and the shots of him playing for the piano in the jacket was his performance for us.

i personally thought they would edit out that lipstick part... but i guess they didn't.

small request

2010-01-22T18:45:00.003-05:00

ever have the need to feel really small?

feeling surrounded in a really big hug, craning your neck at the foot of a mountain, experiencing the vertigo at the edge of a cliff, standing in a crowd of people you don't know in a place you've never been...

they are humbling moments, and i don't think they happen enough.

adventures outside the cubicle

2010-01-15T00:24:00.002-05:00

the phone rang. it was the first time ever. i let it ring again. "operator" appeared on the phone screen. i picked it up mid third ring.

"this is cristina."

according to the voice on the other end, i had an audria on the line for me.

that's when it hit me. what do i say to that? what do i say to the operator? Do I say, "okay," or, "patch her through," or, "that's nice."

so I said "ya."

my phone rang a second time that day. this time i responded to the operator with a simple, "thank you."

I'm a seasoned pro at the telephone at work now. I've made plenty of outgoing phonecalls.

* * *

The same day of my first incoming calls, I made 4 ventures: 2 to the water cooler and 2 to the vending machine.

The water cooler was no problem--i had my cup, filled it up, walked back to my desk, and downed it.

Vending machine. That was a whole other beast. I was very self conscious about getting some good ol' fashioned candy out of the vending machine. I felt it would age me--oh look at her, she's just a young intern, her and her vending machine m&ms.

once the courage was mustered up, i quietly walked the 20 or so paces to the vending machine.

the dollar went in. then it was spit out. i jumped at how noisy the rejection was. i tried again. failed again. try. fail. the sound of the repeated fails at the vending machine was attracting to much attention so i hastily grabbed the dollar and shamefully walked back to my desk.

20 minutes later, the same exact thing happened.

interesting interim

2010-01-06T22:13:00.002-05:00

back in GR and it's been a delight.

I had the house to myself when I got back, but couldn't handle being here alone at night--so I drove to Ohio and spent a couple of days with the roomie. I went skiing for the first time in forever, and it was AWESOME. I'm kind of in love with it. For those in California, skiing in the midwest may be a strange concept. After all, it is fairly flat out here, is it not? Well you know those stone quarries or refineries or whatever some of those things are that you can see off the freeways sometimes? Imagine those covered in snow, lined with a few ski lifts, and peppered with a couple hundred people. Not having grown up skiing in mountains like Mammoth or Mountain High, I don't really care. I rather enjoy the midwestern slopes.

I got the hang of it pretty fast... I ate it in the first 10 feet of my first run but skied successfully (not necessarily gracefully) the rest of the time. Apparently I stick my butt out when I ski, but it's something I can work on. Lindsey is little miss ski bunny. And her brother does tricks. They are my ski heroes.

. . .

The reason I say "interesting interim" is because I have found myself in somewhat of a different class than I thought I would be in. Children's literature--never had a desire to write it or pursue a career in, but I'll be studying it for the next three weeks. It should be interesting, and if anything improve writing skills.

. . .

The new year is upon us. 2010. I attended the Grand Rapids New Year's Eve bash downtown--concerts, food, contests, and our very own New York-esque ball drop. That final countdown--it's always interesting. There's all this hype leading up to midnight, but for me, the final minutes always seem to be the most depressing ones. I can never manage to focus on the positive stuff in those last moments of the year--and when midnight hits, I wince at the beginning of something I wasn't prepared to start.

There's no moment between the years, no time that lacks an ascribed year value. 2009 stops the moment 2010 begins, yet I don't feel any different. That's the worst part--everyone, including me, looks forward to starting something new (hence resolutions that last an average of 5 days). The new year means a new beginning, except at the moment just past midnight, everything feels exactly the same as two minutes before. Nothing changes except those last two digits when I write the date.

2009 was good to me, don't get me wrong. And I know someday New Years will be a lot more meaningful to me... just not yet. I hope yours weren't as anticlimactic as mine, and I hope you are looking forward to a fresh new year. Do something with it... I know I plan to.

habitat habits

2009-12-23T19:16:00.003-05:00

funny how habits can persist despite location.

i went to throw a napkin away, so i walked into the kitchen and opened the cupboard beneath the sink to toss it in the trash can. nope, not there. i looked, feeling very perplexed and thinking to myself, who moved it? i found the trash can in the corner across the kitchen, still wondering why i had this feeling like it wasn't in its usual place. well, that would be because at my house in michigan, we believe in the dutch trash storage place beneath the sink.

even the operation of the microwave got me--why isn't it resuming when I close the door? ah, again, different. tap water? different. but it's been hilarious playing with my puppies and seeing the ol' sights of bellflower.

and how about those CBS commercials/PSAs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkuI4oU250s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4jbmAJ44Po

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fun9s4lsPI8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjLsQ4r5mbc&feature=related

don't think that's what i want for christmas (or want to give for christmas).

christmas will be here and gone before you know it--i hope all is well with all.

speakerphone.

2009-12-18T15:06:00.004-05:00

exams are done, and even better, the semester is done. finally. it was a long and tedious semester. with no homework assignments hanging over my head, it's time to restart my mind and enjoy the little bit of nothingness ahead of me.

i'm at the airport now. i always have a hard time leaving GR, even if it's just for 10 days like the trip i am headed on now. nonetheless, i love airports. more so than that, i love people in airports. for example, the lady flight attendant sitting 30 yards away for me. She finds it socially acceptable to check her messages and make phone calls on speaker phone. is it that hard to hold a phone to your ear? "to hear your messages, press 1." well, "to have your face punched in, keep using speakerphone." it just doesn't make any sense. seriously--speakerphone; for the past 30 minutes--and for the past 20, it's just been her checking flights through an automated system. i'm not exaggerating.

at the grand rapids airport, it doesn't take long at all to get through security... especially when you have a flight at a B gate, as i did today. i was the only one around as i went through security. the guy helping at the xray pulled out my guitar (that i'm bringing it home for my mother) and began to play it. he then told me about his gig last night. he's 76 years old. true story.

one more... there's this guy who's sitting across from me. he's reading--pretty normal. but instead of his eye's moving to scan the text, he moves his entire head back and forth. you know when a cartoon character eats corn like a typewriter? ya, like that, only it's a human reading. i can almost hear the "ding" before he heads back to the beginning of the next line. and by the looks of it, he's a fast reader.

i'd like to give a little shout-out to someone who represents 1/3rd of my readership. roomie--there is a lady wearing a bedazzled space boot. no joke. you should try that.

Catching On

2009-12-16T21:38:00.002-05:00

I see that people are catching on. In honor of that, I will let y'all in on the studying adventures as of late.

Last night, Lindsey and I went to a coffee shop in GR called Wired. With lots of studying/cramming to do, Wired had what we needed: food and caffeine, available 24-hours a day. We ended up staying there until 2AM... and to let you in on the experience, here are a series of text messages that I received from Lindsey (who was sitting 10 feet away, supposedly studying) describing the other people in the coffee shop at such an absurd hour:

"I think those three women are wiccans... the black clothes and hats and being up freakishly late. Mostly i think it's the hats."

"And why in the world is this couple awake? My theory... he wanted to get freaky and she said 'no! lets go do something.' That's how it always happens."

"The guy by the window had to get some fresh air. The mold from his mom's basement is really affecting his respiratory system."

"And the lone man in the middle of the shop... he is attempting to complete an assignment for an online class. He hopes that if he can get a better job, he can start wearing some age-appropriate shoes."

For the record, Lindsey--who is very sensitive to caffeine--was on her second caffeinated drink of the day. And of course, I had to do my best to keep my chuckles to myself. Needless to say, studying was accomplished to a certain extent and the exams we were studying for are done and over with.

No Cups.

2009-12-13T16:25:00.004-05:00

One of the reasons i stopped posting was the overwhelming feeling that I had nothing to talk about--i got sick of writing about what was going on. It didn't feel like anything too exciting was happening, therefore there wasn't anything to exciting to write about.

But this new internship that I've been a part of for a few weeks now--this is an exciting experience. I've been thrown in to the cubicle culture. As an intern at Grand Rapids Magazine, I go in twice a week. Cubicles and business dress are the newest things for me. It might just be me, but I think the cubicle walls are extraordinarily high. I have no idea who my neighbors are. I know they have voices... voices and fingers, cause i hear their fingers typing away--in fact, I made a game out of trying to guess male or female based on what the typing sounded like. I still haven't seen my neighbors, so i can't say how accurate I am. Other than voices and fingers, my neighbors have no other known characteristics; maybe they have faces? Bodies?
And it's so quiet on the main floor that I'm afraid to move let alone sniffle or cough. This mentality made my having hiccups last tuesday rather stressful.
I tend to stay in my cubicle--but in my second week, I made the trek to the water cooler. What a proud moment as I turned the corner and had the cooler in sight--though it was rather anticlimactic because nobody was standing around the cooler chatting up some company gossip. Even more disappointing was the realization that there were no cups; back to the cubicle. As pointless as the trip was, it was still a thrill. Next time I'll bring a cup with me.

it's baaaaack.

2009-12-10T22:01:00.002-05:00

if you are reading this, you have probably figured out the hint that i am getting back on blogger.

i don't know why i decided to take such a long break from it. part of it was the fact that i wanted to actually write stuff down rather than type it out. another part of it was that i was just plain old lazy.

either way, i apologize for those of you who actually read my stuff. i've missed it a bit, and hopefully i can get back in the swing of things pretty quickly. let us begin with a little post.

blizzard conditions outside right now. all this snow is great--i made my first snow man, though it was more of a snow woman, what with the snow bosoms and all. classes are finally done for me, and i am preparing for exam week. actually, in all honesty, i am taking a few days off--exam preparation will start on saturday or sunday.
living off-campus is great. all grown-up, doing chores, paying bills, fixing stuff... that's life right now. i'm in one of those spots again where i can't help but grin when i realize where i am. for that, i am thankful.
a little more leisure will be mixed in to that once interim rolls around. ice skating and sledding are top on my list of fun stuff to do that i've never really done or haven't done so in a while.

i hope all is well with everyone.

the bike's big day out

2009-05-04T23:44:00.006-04:00

though i risk being cliche, i feel it is acceptable to start this way:

one old 1974 schwinn twinn deluxe tandem bicycle in need of repair, found on craigslist: $100
two bolts, two washers: $3
a day of cleaning and spiffing up: 4 hours
seat clamp, brake assembly, pedal synchronization, and full tune-up: $50
the bike's first big ride to reed's lake: absolutely priceless

this past friday, May 1, my schwinn twinn deluxe tandem bicycle, built in 1974, came home from the bike shop, ready to ride. a few short trips around the dorm with a few of my friends showed just how awesome this bike was going to be. but saturday was the big day--we were all going to ride our bikes around reed's lake and to jersey junction ice cream, and my roomie and i were going to ride in style on the tandem.

i tell ya, the moment we get this bike going, the fun begins. getting the bike going takes a bit of time and communication--that was a big reason that once we started, we really didn't like to stop... so we would slow down and risk falling over in order to not stop. the potholes (which, some of you may know) are numerous this time of year... those weren't too kind on our ride. this bike is great, though. with me in the front seat and my roommate in the back, it was non-stop laughter all the way. ya, we may have needed a quarter-mile warning for when we would need to stop in order to be able to brake in time, but that just added to the fun. we had a hard time keeping up with the other road bikes, but one of our friends, andrew, stayed back and enjoyed the scenic ride with us. it was a BEAUTIFUL day... perfect for a bike ride... perfect for a tandem bike ride.
we started to feel like pros on this bike (who is yet to be named), so we dared to change gears (yes! this thing has multiple gears!). that's where trouble kicked in. i reached in front of me to try changing to a lower gear... that's when a series of loud noises, me laughing and screaming, my roommate screaming and laughing and then... "stop!" andrew was telling us to stop... so we started braking, and then a minute later finally came to a stop. we looked down, and there lay the bike chain, dangling from the gear. a link had snapped, and our chain was broken!!!
our first big ride, and we're going to have to walk the bike? no way! so we sat there and checked out the damage. it was nothing we could fix. my cycling-friend carolyn came back to where we were to see what was up. so the four of us sat there, tinkering with the chain. luckily we still had the link, it just was impossible to connect... until...
a silver honda cr-v pulled up next to us to see what was up. turns out, he lived right down the street and was this cycling guy... he had tools that could fix it! so he ran home to get his stuff, came back, and put our chain back together!!!
it was amazing. so after a little break, we hopped on the blue tandem once again to finish up the ride to jersey junction.
the ride went smoothly (figuratively speaking... remember, potholes) and we got a lot of fun looks and smiles... especially because my roomie realized there was no need for her hands to be on the handle bars... hence she could do many things while we biked along--put a sweatshirt on, wave to people, eat ice cream, take pictures, fly, sing... yes, many possiblities as the back rider of a tandem.

so, yes... good times on the bike... and i'm looking forward to many more... many many more.

dorm banquet and fiesta

2009-04-07T01:25:00.003-04:00

yo
check out the new pics!!! just click on the pics/link to the left and it should take you to the new gallery.
these are pics from our dorm banquet and a little fiesta we had the next day (some friends and i made burritos).
i hope all is well!

surprise!

2009-03-28T18:42:00.002-04:00

whoa... a new post???
what ever could the special occasion be???

nothing. i just finally got my lazy facebook distracted self over to blogger, signed in, and writing a new post.

i am at the GRR airport currently. i love airports.

so what's been going on lately?
honestly, a whole lot of craziness has been going on. before spring break, which was this past week, there were papers and tests galore, stress up the wazoo, and that familiar frustrating phrase was back again: "what now?"
what do i mean by "what now?" it's the phrase that pops up when i find myself uselessly unmotivated with school work, curious about the future, and down-right ready to explode. i think everyone was ready to explode before spring break... which is why i welcomed spring break with open arms. it helped that i was going to sunny california for spring break though.
while i was in california, i received many questions, and i feel like that may have been a direct result from my lack of posting lately... so here it goes... i am going to answer the top 5 questions i heard this past week.
1) how's the weather in michigan? hardy har har... you want me to say cold and gloomy, don't ya? while that may be the case currently, the week before sprung forth a few glorious spring days.... tshirts, shorts, flip-flops and frisbees... hopefully we'll be seeing more of that in the next couple of weeks.
2) how are your classes? argumentation class sucks (cause the professor is just not the teaching type... he's the knowing type. he knows everything. he just can't pass it on to his class.) intercultural communications (an anthropology type class) and rhetorical criticism are my two favorite classes... they are about fascinating things, my profs are really good, and i think they are the most relative to what i intend to do with my life. performance studies and meteorology... two classes that just don't do much for me. particularly performance studies... as i tell my friends, every time i am in that class, i want to take my head off and throw it at my prof in hopes that he will stop talking and that i'll have an excuse to leave class.
3) *preceeded by a wink or elbow nudge* any boys? no.
4) what are you doing for the summer? i will be staying out here in grand rapids for the summer... we've got our super sweet duplex, and so we will move in to that a week or so after classes are done. the plan is to get a summer job so that i can make some money while i am out here... and maybe that job will overlap in to the school year... but we'll see. i am thinking barnes&noble or something right now... just NOTHING in the food service. i've paid my dues with food service (for example. chik-fil-a).
5) have you been doing anything fun lately? i climb at our school's wall everyday except for sunday... and i don't rest on sunday in order to practice sabbath... calvin forces that habit onto us by not opening the gym on sundays... i mean, i completely support that. so climbing everyday and all that college fun-ness that happens randomly every night have been keeping me busy when i am not oh-so-studiously working on homework or studying for exams.

i think that's about it.
when i was in california for spring break, i think i did quite a bit. i saw a ton of people, and i got to see how oober big lucy has gotten... and how well tippy plays with her!!! they are cuter than ever and i can't believe how hyper lucy is. i think tippy gets tired from all of lucy's 24/7 excitement. but it's cute to watch them play together... i never thought i would see that day come.

things you need to see on youtube:
"kittens inspired by kittens"
"star-wars according to a 6 year old"
"kick my ask"
"dimitri martin"
"bizkit the sleepwalking dog"
"flip-flop prank"

that should keep you busy for now. trust me. your life is not complete if you do not see these. and the dimitri martin one... watch the whole thing. i know it's long. but it's worth it.

check it out... sem pond jump 09. if you look carefully, you'll see me and my pals.

2009-02-21T02:59:00.001-05:00

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=105819

where have i been, you ask?

2009-02-19T12:51:00.002-05:00

my oh my.
my blogging frequency hasn't been this low since i first started this whole thing. i apologize to those who faithfully check this and have been repeatedly let down by the lack of new reading material.
michigan went through a slight warm spell... then it got cold again. like, oober cold. but the lack of sun hasn't bothered my roomie and i... two words: fake bake. never thought i would get in to that sort of thing... but let me tell you... a warm 20 minute nap after classes a couple of days a week does wonders. not only do i defeat seasonal affect disorder, but i also get tan. wonderful stuff.
the climbing wall has been awesome... i'm there everyday, climbing away. i've even swam in the super sweet olympic-sized pool a few times.
homework has been crazier than ever, but i have managed to keep up on things in a way that's not too stressful.
life has been ever changing, and i myself am having a hard time keeping up with all that's been going on. nonetheless, days come and go, and they are filled with tons of fun and new things left and right.
i forgot to mention... i also play ping pong every night now... i would say its a good break from homework... but i think "break" implies that i've already started my homework by the time i play ping pong. not always true for me. either way, it's good fun, and i must say, i've got some killer shots goin' on :)
oh!
i also played tennis for the first time since this past summer.... AH! i know, how did i manage to go that long?
anyway, a friend of mine got a few of us in to the new tennis facility because of his connections... so i played on calvin's brand new indoor courts! they are beautiful... but SLOW as clay on a foggy day. the strokes came back fairly quickly, and the serve is still there (but not as affective on this surface). good times.
calvin won it's first men's basketball game against hope in the new arena... woot woot. they won by one point! craziness.
well, i think that about catches y'all up on the happening in grand rapids, MI for now.
ta ta.

feb you weary

2009-02-06T22:50:00.002-05:00

the first week of classes for the second semester is done... and it already feels like we've been going at it for a while. my classes are as follows: advocation & argumentation; rhetorical criticism; intercultural communications (i have this one with my roomie); performance studies; meteorology.
good bunch of classes, eh? i love them... and i love that i love them.
the weather has been refreshingly cold. working at the climbing wall (and climbing at the climbing wall EVERYday) has been sweet. i went to the gym and ran on the treadmill for the first time today... our gym is SWEET. the swimming pool is even sweeter... i went swimming the other day, and i must say that this pool facility is very impressive. it is so cool to have access to such a sweet athletic facility. very fortunate to have this.
yup. sorry for the boring post. but i have been busy. story of my life.
hopefully i can sit down and actually write some stuff down for y'all one of these days.
but for now, that's it.
tootles

back to civilization

2009-01-29T12:41:00.003-05:00

I'm back!
Sitting rather contentedly on my futon in GRap, I'm finally getting a new post up.
Interim was amazing... went to new places, learned new things, saw sweet stuff, made new friends, and spent a lot of time in the most wonderful outdoors. I took a ton of pictures... up until the point that my camera fizzled out on me... a bump, crack, and a splash of water took it down. hopefully it's fixable, but at the moment, it ain't lookin' so hot.
I wish i could write about everything that happened, but writing about three weeks of incredible stuff just seems a bit overwhelming right now. so, with that said, i encourage you to see the photographic story of my interim starting in JTree and ending in the Grand Canyon. to do so, click on the "latest pics" link to the left and go to the Interim 2009 album.
enjoy.

i get by with a little help from my friends

2009-01-05T03:29:00.003-05:00

welcome to 2009.
2008 was pretty crazy. I must say, new years last year was a lot different than new years this year.
on the morning of january 4th 2008, i found myself sitting in LAX at my gate, waiting to depart and make my way back to grand rapids, mi. As i sat at that gate, i felt lost... the first semester of calvin was good, and i had grown enough that being back in los angeles didn't feel the same... didn't feel right. but i hadn't exactly been the most social person during my first semester, so i didn't have a community to return to in grand rapids.
i wasn't sad about leaving los angeles, but i wasn't exactly ecstatic about returning to grand rapids either. in fact, i was rather indifferent.
i looked at all the other gates around me and their various destinations they fostered: atlanta, chicago, seattle, boston. i could have been sitting at any of those gates and felt just the same as i waited to board a plane bound for grand rapids. what was keeping me from closing my eyes and randomly pointing to a new destination?

fast forward to january 28, 2009, when i'll be sitting at a gate, bound for grand rapids, michigan. take a look and you won't find a speck of indifference there.

here's a brief 2008 recap that'll show what has changed my indifference to excitement and longing while waiting for flights bound back to the midwest.

they say that your friends in college become a kind of family. for me, last year was when i decided to finally start taking risks socially, and what i gained was a family.
i don't know how to use words in order to sufficiently describe the sense of community i feel with these people. they are beyond awesome, and i don't know what i'd do without them.
so it comes as no surprise that a lot of last year's highlights are populated with my new family.
before i move on, i want to put names to faces:
tina in the blue shirt, lindsey (roomie) in the gray, carolyn in the red, and sarah in the dark blue. oh, and this isn't how they normally look... i promise. if you had to make a list of 100 people to meet in your lifetime, erase whoever you have for 2-6, and put these ladies on there instead (can't erase #1... #1 is always jesus, and you can't erase jesus).
...
so as a year of learning and growing ends, another one that'll likely contain even more of that begins.
i'm kicking the year off with a january term (3 week class) in joshua tree/the grand canyon, climbing, backpacking, and learning wilderness first aid. it's going to be a good time, and i'll make sure to fill you in on all of it when i get back...
january 27th, be prepared for tons of pics and a quick rundown of how the trip went. until then, find yourself some other reading material. may i recommend something?
have you ever read "the very hungry caterpillar?"
i love it. but it makes me hungry everytime i read it.
so have snacks ready when you eat it.

farewell for now friends.

farewell 2008

2008-12-31T21:10:00.003-05:00

still some hours yet in the final day of 2008 for us here in california.
a gnarly amount of sinus/all around head pressure has kept me from doing too much (at least from doing too much with any enthusiasm or excitement). i did make it to the super market with jenny though, and then there was a quick trip to manhattan beach. it's been a while since i was there, so it was a nice visit. i'll be going back on saturday too.... because there is a USED GEAR SALE! exciting.
there's a little get together with some friends from high school tonight, so i'll head to that for a bit... but honestly, i'll be very surprised if i make it to midnight. i made it to japan's midnight... isn't that enough?
oy ve. so long til midnight.
i'll do the traditional new years/2008 in review tomorrow.
but til then, i hope you have had a most wonderful christmas and i hope your new years celebration is one of much joy.

quick note: i truly apologize for being a slacker this year and not producing my annual christmas movie. consequently, no xmas cards went out either. the holiday season kind of snuck up on me rather fast, so i didn't manage to pull anything together at the last second (something i am usually all to good at).

it's a been quite the year, 2008... and i hope it finishes out just peachy for y'all.

that's all from this year... tootles.

halfway around the world

2008-12-24T01:24:00.002-05:00

14 hours ahead of the midwest and 17 hours ahead of the west coast... that's where i currently find myself. after a super long flight, i was welcomed to japan by being held back at customs. my passport doesn't show any evidence of me leaving japan on my last trip. why is that a major problem? i have no idea. but it was. nearly an hour of over-emphasised hand motions,
a few days have passed now... the wedding is done, we've ventured here and there, and i'm sure i've already violated multiple cultural customs. for instance: wearing "toilet slippers" to the lobby for breakfast. i was denied access to breakfast until i went up and put real shoes on.
my bad.

the wedding was a blast... i understood more than i ate, but nonetheless, it was a sweet thing to be able to be there for my brother's wedding... especially one as cultural and unique as this. there were three receptions, and for someone like me (very nap-dependent and very jet-lagged), that is a very tiring ordeal. i got to meet a lot of steven's co-workers and friends--most of whom just couldn't stop raving about how cool of a person steven is. and it was hilarious to see steven speaking so much japanese, cracking jokes left and right in japanese... very impressive.

no crazy adventures have gone down yet... mostly hanging around nagoya and making a trip to the local courthouse with steven and naomi for them to sign their marriage license. no matter the trip, though, picture opportunities galore... hence more than 200 pictures in less than two days. these pictures are available in my photo gallery under "japan trip 2008"... so just click on the left and it should take you there.

i find it fascinating that being in a foreign country has left me thinking more visually than orally... meaning, certian images catch my eye and come to mind more than certain thoughts are provoked and nourished. this leaves me with tons of pictures and few words. in a place where i can only comprehend things visually, i guess it makes sense. for one, i don't over hear conversations (at least over hear AND comprehend) that spark a line of thought... for another, it's the essence, the sights, of the culture that i experience. i would compare it to the difference between a novel and a picture book. the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words" isn't a cliche for a reason... it gets used a ton... and it do so because it works. i'm just dieing to put a couple of those words down on paper... so hopefully i'll gather up a couple of words to share soon... but for now, enjoy the pictures.

one more thing... i love the fact that despite thousands of miles and multiple hours of time difference, communication is just as easy as it would be withing earshot of eachother. i've skyped and chatted on-line with friends back in the states. it still amazes me that i can have a face to face conversation on-line for free any time i want from any place that has internet access. impressive.

well, it is nap time for me. i don't know what time zone my body is stuck in...but it has left me perpetually exhausted.

more to come soon. i promise.

guest post

2008-12-17T16:01:00.003-05:00

i've been busy with exams... studying at panera, iHop (which contrary to what the name suggests, isn't owned by Apple), my room, the basement, johnny's, and everywhere in between.

but because i've been so busy, i've gained my roommates permission to post something that she wrote. this is a paper she wrote for her history final and got to be a little creative with it. i must say, i am pretty proud of my roomie. quality entertainment. the "jolly music" is my favorite part.
enjoy.

As much as I wanted the classroom clock to be visible during class, when the day came, the change was absolutely unbearable. My peers and I could not peel our eyes off the simple machine that dictates our everyday lives. Words about the Protestant Reformation and the colonization of America seemed meaningless because I was focused on the here and now. The only thing that registered within my mind was the gradual clockwise movement of the minute hand—time seemed oddly slower than usual. When only ten minutes had passed in the last half an hour, I discredited the clock’s ability to tell time correctly and went back to scribbling down my notes.

To my surprise, my next glance at the clock proved to be the reality of every student’s nightmare—the clock was indeed moving backwards! It began by taking a few steps back; a minute here and there, but the hand soon gained speed and at a constant pace began to rewind time. The clock must have had a boost of adrenaline because the hand was moving backward so fast that I could not longer see the hand circling the blurry numbers that were the only evidence I still had that the circle attached to the cinder-block wall was indeed still a clock. Wow! I need to start getting more sleep. I must be hallucinating from sleep deprivation—why else would the classroom have begun to spin around my stationary chair?

Much like the spinning teacups in Disney World, I spun quite some time to jolly music that was supposed to take my mind off the current state of my stomach. Luckily, the spinning came to a gradual stop before my breakfast had covered my history notes spread across my desk. Once I regained my sense of balance, I assessed the damage. My history notes were everywhere—floating through the air, crumpled on the floor, sprawled across my lap. It was going to take such a long time to collect the pages and pages of notes I had taken during class, and putting them in order was going to be a difficult task.

When I noticed my surroundings, I realized my notes were the least of my problems. Time had literally reversed. In front of what should have been the projector screen was an elaborate pulpit and a table with several candles lit. The light in the room flickered as if the electricity connection was failing, but either the sconces were actual candles or designed to look exactly like them. By the burn on my finger, I came to the conclusion that they were indeed real candles. I took a candle off the wall to light the corridor I planned to venture into, and as the shadows danced across the cold marble walls, I followed the slight noises coming from the opposite side of what looked like an ancient castle.

A murmur of a whisper drew me into a large sitting room with the rows and rows of shelves filled with leather-bound books. My attempt to walk across the room was brought to an abrupt stop when a young lady quickly stood up from her seat facing the roaring fire. Not only did the mere presence of another individual frighten me, but I jumped even higher when I looked more closely at the girl—it was like looking into a crystal-clear mirror. The shock caused our eyes to expand to the same maximum diameter, and our mouths seemed to drop at the exact same time. How could we look so similar while she was clearly from a different time period than I?

From the terrified look I wore on my face, she could tell that I was not from a neighboring kingdom. I felt underdressed in my jeans and sweatshirt so I continued to try to reach the exit, but the girl called out and asked me to wait. I slowed my pace down and cautiously turned to her. The young lady introduced herself as Adalheidis Jetter.

The feeling of shock resurfaced as I realized there must be a reason that we look so similar—somehow we were related; having the same last name was not just a coincidence. After I regained my ability to speak, I introduced myself and asked where I was. I was in one of the many German states during the seventeenth century. My history class had transformed into actual history.

Trying to explain my life to Adalheidis proved to be almost impossible. I did not even know where to start, but I began with trying to describe the United States. Of course, she did not know that there was a new world yet to be discovered and colonized. I then thought we had found some common ground with the topic of education, but when Adalheidis expressed her interest in learning, it mostly consisted of traditional tasks an upper middle class female would learn in the 1600s. After she showed me her needlepoint and drawings, I told her about the equal opportunities that females now have in education. The idea of colleges and universities was foreign yet exciting, and she begged me to tell her more about my pursuit of higher education.

Adalheidis lit up as she drank in information about the future. I described my major, my friends and things we do for fun, and my family as she listened intently. The difference in time was especially apparent in her reaction when I mentioned what college I was attending. She immediately recognized the connection between Calvin College and the reformer, John Calvin. She herself had heard many of the reformed ideas that were reshaping the concept of religion and the church for the past century. As excited she was about the changes, she also feared that the Catholic Church would use their power to eliminate the Protestant ideas that were taking hold in many communities. We continued discussing the spread of the Protestant Reformation, and I assured her that many of her descendants will be following the same teachings hundreds of years later.

Out of habit, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket to check the time, which was irrelevant in my situation but led to a string of questions from Adalheidis. Amazed by the everyday modern conveniences, she wanted to know every detail about the so-called “technology.” I found myself unable to answer many of her questions because in today’s society, technology is taken for granted. I soon realized that I could not describe the Internet without explaining the computer, cell phones without clarifying the concept of a landline, lights without the explanation of electricity, and cars without the understanding of engines and gasoline.

Although our societies were completely different, Adalheidis was fascinated with technology, and she wished she could experience the society I was describing. I must have talked too highly of technology because Adalheidis was led to believe that all technological advancements had positive effects on society. I knew I could not mislead her, and I began to tell her of the unfortunate events that were results of technology. I explained to her that although technology has saved lives and made them quite easier, it has also caused terror and chaos within society. Wars are fought with machines that have been perfected to kill. Privacy is a rarity, and much of the uniqueness that was once present in every culture has been lost in the complex process of globalization.

Even though Adalheidis and I saw each other’s lives as living in completely different worlds, we bonded over the commonality found within the shared desire to improve our respective worlds. Adalheidis was already brainstorming ideas to make advancements that would eventually transform her society into my society. Right as she picked up my cell phone to examine it closer, the digital clock on the screen began blinking rapidly, and I knew that my time with Adalheidis was up.

exams and moon rings

2008-12-13T21:52:00.003-05:00

it is easiest to win an argument at 2am.
for example:
it's 2 in the morning, and my roommate vocalizes her craving for a milk shake.
i say, alright, lets go to steak and shake and get one.
she points to her shorts, saying no because she is improperly dressed.
i tell her to just put pants on then.
she didn't need much more convincing.
at that, we were off and on our way to steak and shake... the 24-hour place to get your burger, fries, or milkshake. it is a wonderful place.
it also helped that exams started today... a milkshake at 2am is something you can't pass up when you know you've got an exam the next day.

something really cool. we were walking back from my car after steak and shake, and i looked up to see this wicked awesome perfectly circular ring around the moon, looking like this:
isn't that amazing? we couldn't stop looking at it... just walking in the icy snow with our heads tilted straight up at the brilliantly bright moon, completely amazing by this luminous ring around the moon. fascinating stuff.

the temperature has gone up a degree or two... making the precipitation that falls not fluffy flakes of snow but sharp shards of ice that bite into your face. it hurts.

well, i best be back to my studies... but be sure to check out the music i added to the player thing... ray lamontagne... awesome music... great kick-back and study music. highly highly highly recommend any of his albums!

have a good night.

just keep swimming

2008-12-09T22:41:00.000-05:00

Sorry about that. Exams are coming up, and life has been downright busy.
The snow keeps piling up and the temperature keeps going down.
Classes are ending, exams are beginning.
I cannot believe that this first semester is practically done. Crazy!
With the end of the semester comes Christmas break… which means I am headed back to japan in less than two weeks to see my brother get married.
It’s a long flight… I know. So if you have any movie recommendations or book recommendations for the flight, PLEASE… do tell. Otherwise, I am just bringing a couple of seasons of shows with me… and am going to watch all of them. I feel like this trip will be a lot different than my first trip out there. Yes, my brother getting married will be quite the difference from last time, but I feel like I’ll be looking through a different set of lenses than when I did my sophomore year of high school.
I hope that the break brings some relaxation… it’s going to be go-go-go in Japan… it’s just the culture out there (and, in my opinion, in most places in this country). Then after a few days back in the states upon our return from Japan, I am off to my Interim trip. The trip includes 5 days of climbing in Joshua Tree National Park, 10 days doing a Wilderness First Responder curse in Flagstaff, then 6 days backpacking in the Grand Canyon. This is an outdoor educator interim trip through Calvin… so instead of being in Michigan for the month of January, I will be climbing and hiking around the deserts of the country.
After that, it is back to Calvin and the start of second semester… which holds spring break! And hopefully this year we’ll be in California for spring break. Since when do I get excited about going to California? Since I get to bring my friends with me and show them my home. Keep your fingers crossed for good airfares.
Speaking of cheap airfares…
There was a roundtrip flight from Detroit to LAX for $18. Yes, eighteen. Unfortunately the fare was only good through January… but $18??? I just don’t get it… that’s insanity.

Boy. I am tired.
I saw this quote on someone’s site. I liked it… a good reminder to keep going through life with a raised chin and hoping heart.

Someday everything will all make perfect sense. so for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.

rock and ice

2008-12-03T00:15:00.003-05:00

snow snow snow... here are some pics of the campus covered in snow. my favorite is the headless snow man. then the last two pics are pictures of our new climbing wall!!!!!! the rec staff got to go inside the fieldhouse (which isn't open yet... still a lot of construction to go yet) and learn how to set routes. it is awesome!!! 40 feet high and enough room to set 16 ropes. that's massive. more on that to come.

fall on me

2008-12-01T23:48:00.003-05:00

i woke up to a bright white morning... a thick layer of snow was sticking to nearly everything (or not sticking in the case of the clumps of snow that grew too heavy for its resting place on high tree branches, falling on unsuspecting pedestrians below--an occurrence i have experienced 4 times in the last 24 hours.
the snow on the ground is just as big a threat as the snow in the trees.
my first class of the day got canceled... always a bonus, especially on mondays. on the way to my second (and last) class of the day, i was admiring the enormous amounts of fresh snow when i heard the scuffling of panicking feet struggling to find some traction on the icy ground. that's when i felt a hand grab my hood and yank down out of the desperate need for stabilization. luckily, i was fairly balanced and didn't go down with this individual that was a complete stranger to me.

you know the song "lean on me?" great song... i love it.
but looking at the song for a loose metaphor to describe a true and strong friendship--i think it falls short. i think "falling" is a more appropriate term.
i mean, "leaning" works, but i'd argue that only a true friend would say, "go ahead, fall on me." and honestly, think about it...
where does leaning occur in our lives?

we lean on walls casually to look cool, lean on trees when answering natures call in the woods, lean on invisible tables (well, mimes do), and lean back in our chair in 5th grade while the teacher isn't looking.
leaning only surrenders to partial dependency. "un-leaning" is fairly easy. yes, like i said, it's a good metaphor... i just think there is more to it.

think about those leaning examples again.

what if, while in the act of leaning, all of your muscles just suddenly stopped working and you lost all capability to hold yourself up (which is, in essence, what falling is considered)? where would you be? you'd be on the ground at the foot of the wall, sitting in your own "stuff" at the base of the tree in the woods, sprawled out on the floor in the middle of an open space looking like an idiot for falling for no apparent (to the non-mime eye) reason, or on the classroom floor with your head split open and your teacher giving you detention.

leaning can only do so much for us. what is supposed to support us when our muscles stop working, when we just can't manage to support ourselves? what about when we can't grab hold of anything and start to fall? who are you willing to completely depend on? fall on?

i think there is a two-fold answer to that.

the first is the obvious one, the sunday school answer: God. in fact, i'd say that God asks us to fall in his arms. Using God as a balance-keeping crutch rather than a personal piggy-back transport reveals a life that isn't completely dependent on Him.
But what about when, for one reason or another, we don't see God as an option?

That's where your true friends, your community, come in to the picture. they are the ones with the hoods that we can grab when we slip and start to fall. they are the stable ice skaters in your group that will skate next to you as you give ice skating a try... they will stay by you, knowing full well that you will begin to fall and grab hold of their arm... you know that you can reach out for their arm when you start to fall... and you know that they'll keep you up because they are so solid. sure, sometimes both fall, but even so... if they do go down with you, they'll help you up.

like i said--God is ready and willing to be that support. i think that the support sometimes comes in the form of the friends and community that He puts in our lives because He knows that we'll need that.

*side note* i was looking at how the things in life i like a lot are communicating and community... so i was about to say, i think i am just very fond of anything that has the root "communi" in it... but then i realized that there was this one word: communism. ya, not so supportive of that one. communion is pretty cool though.
anyway.

so, ya. just some stuff i feel pretty strongly about. i am so thankful for those people in my life that i can "fall on," and i can only hope that i can be someone that they can "fall on." life would be ridiculously tough if that kind of support didn't exist.

dessert, state-lines, and snow

2008-11-30T22:24:00.007-05:00

well well well. i must say--i had a fantastic thanksgiving. i have never eaten so much dessert in my life. pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin roll... it was all amazing.
the jetter fam adopted me for the weekend, allowing me to join them for thanksgiving and some other fun stuff--cutting down a christmas tree, for example.
my roomie and i left calvin wednesday afternoon and got to ohio later that day, stayed around for a bit, and then jumped in a different car with the rest of the fam (including their two dogs, molly (bigger dog) and mia (littler dog).) that night we made it to west virginia. i have never been to west virginia before... so another state marked off for me. i didn't get a picture of the "welcome to west virginia" sign though, so i'll just have to go back sometime. but i like the state-line between ohio and west virginia... it's over the river, and it's a sweet bridge. cool stuff.
after two nights in west virginia, we made our way back to ohio on black friday. did any of y'all go shopping? i didn't... i slept... maybe the fact that my roommate and i stayed up 'til 4am had something to do with the lack of desire for an early morning shopping spree.... maybe.
saturday was christmas tree day... and i was excited. you see, in california, we go to ralphs or something and "get a christmas tree." in ohio with the jetter fam, we went "hunting for a christmas tree." we basically walked through a farm of christmas trees, found "the one", grabbed a saw, and cut it down. soooooo cool. and this tree was massive. i got to take a few tries at the saw, but i tired quickly.
then, after my roommate and i made our traditional trip to wal*mart, i made pasta for dinner. i made the family sauce recipe... it was the least i could do for their generosity in having me over.
sunday--today--woke up early for church, packed up, and went to birt's... a general store that sells candy in bulk. this place is sweet (no pun intended). you walk in, grab a few white paper bags, a metal scooper, and start scooping up the candy you want. good times. this is also a tradition for them, so i was glad to be able to get to do that.
we were finally on our way back up to calvin... where there was a ton of snow going on. there was so much snow on the road!!! but it was so BEAUTIFUL. the trees, covered in snow... the snow had the same effect on trees as white chocolate does on those prezels we got at birt's. down-right amazing scenary.
we had driven lindsey's car, so when we got back, i saw my car all by its lonesome self, covered in and surrounded by snow... lots of snow. it was snowing so hard tonight that flights in and out of grand rapids were cancelled... hard core. i will put some more snow pics up soon.

music playlist

2008-11-26T00:43:00.003-05:00

i am so stoked...
you know how i am always trying to get y'all to listen to some music that i just can't get enought of? well, now you can listen to it here!
i made a playlist on this site (showed to me by my mother) and i have got my current favorites on the playlist right now...
so, go ahead, listen to some music... you can even make a pop-out player so that you don't actually have to be on my site to listen to all this super awesome music.
enjoy!!!!!!!

housing update

2008-11-24T23:45:00.002-05:00

we have a house!
http://grandrapids.craigslist.org/apa/929981542.html
this house is on lake drive, right where the lake drive entrance to calvin is (for those of you who know GR)... we could literally throw a rock from the front yard to calvin's property.
it is a duplex... 3 bedrooms, a kitchen, a family room, and 1.5 bath on each side. with 8 girl total, that means each side will have 4 girls... 2 with their own room and a pair sharing a room (my roommate and i being one of the pairs).
we went and visited the house tonight, and tomorrow morning we are sealing the deal. we will have the place starting on june 1, meaning i have a place to stay this summer! there are a few of us that will be staying here in GR for the summer.
things are finally falling in to place. now that we have all this housing stuff figured out, we don't have to worry about it for the rest of the year. now that's a good feeling.
two more days of class and then it is off to ohio/west virginia with my roommate for thanksgiving.
so you know how i mentioned last night that it hasn't snowed/stuck?
well, i woke up this morning to 5 inches of snow.
it is so pretty! plus, i spent about 75% of my day in johnny's doing homework, so it is easier to enjoy the snow when you don't have to be outside in it for an extended period of time.
i will put some pics up of the house in the next day or so, and a couple of random pics from the past couple of weeks.
i hope all is well wherever you may be.
speaking of that...
i have this thing called google analytics, and one of the things it keeps stats on is where i get viewers from...
i currently have 9 countries: the US, Canada, Honduras, Italy, Germany, Switzerland, Australia, United Kingdom, and Turkey. and in the US, i have 20 states... with California and Michigan coming in my top two states with the most readers.
it's so much fun to see this stuff.
and i get quite a number of hits from people who search stuff on google and then get directed to my site... and i even get to see what they searched in order to get to my site.
i also see who's sites give me the best references... for instance, both jillian and the fieldhouses are responsible for each referring 4% of my viewers from a link on their site.
isn't crazy how i can find out all this stuff!?!
so i guess working on circulation of my blog is something i have become more fascinated with.
if you feel the need to pass my site link along, by all means, go for it... i feel as if i am collecting states and countries :)
i need to get back to some homework.
tootles.

when footy pajamas aren't sufficient.

2008-11-24T01:43:00.003-05:00

not only is it getting really cold outside, but it is freezing in our room as well.
for some reason, our heater is currently on the fritz... we walk around our room with layers and blankets on in order to stay warm. and mornings are the worst... the cold wakes me up. i even tried to wear my fleece footy pajamas last night, but i still managed to get cold!
my roommate has flannel sheets--something i ditched when my mother sent out a new set of sheets for me at the beginning of the year. let me just say that i am going to dig those flannel sheets up and get me some warmth!
even worse than having a cold room is having a cold room after getting out of the shower. the first 2 minutes after getting out of the shower are the most miserable two minutes of my day. but then everything is generally fine after that.
the cold outside is not a problem at all... as long as i've got a couple of layers, my scarf, and mittens, i am fine. i also have a pair of warm and fuzzy moccasins... these things are amazing! they were originally just slippers, but they are totally made for the outside too, so i have been wearing them to class lately. i highly recommend these--they are at target and are cheaper than buying a couple of boxes of hot cocoa, marshmallows, and a cute mug to contain it all. really. it is.
with the temperatures floating around the 20s and 30s, no snow has really come down and stuck lately. but there is definitely snow in the forecast leading up to thanksgiving.
speaking of thanksgiving... it's a three day week due to having thursday and friday off.
i am even more fortunate than that both of my monday professors are out of town tomorrow... meaning, no class!!! i know, pretty sweet. i get a three day weekend, and i don't have to deal with a case of the mondays.
nevertheless, i will still be doing large amounts of homework.
something i should do a little bit of now as well.

tootles

one more plug

2008-11-20T13:10:00.003-05:00

since i listed a couple of really cool and ridiculously old (relatively speaking) writers, i want to also put a plug for a couple of singers/bands that i've been enjoying lately.
coconut records (amazing! my favorite)
jason mraz
eric hutchinson
matt costa

check 'em out online or something... pandora is always good too.
enjoy.

it's official

2008-11-20T12:29:00.002-05:00

i'm a nerd.

maybe that's not news to you, but i can't fight it any longer.

what lead to this realization?
british literature is my favorite class right now (although, i am loving all my classes... and interestingly enough, the one i was most excited about, journalism, has been the biggest let down. i don't feel like there is any room for creativity in news journalism... we are required to use a news voice... and, well, if we all use news voice, then there is no uniqueness whatsoever)
anyway. let me emphasize that. british. literature. english. poetry.
John Donne, William Shakespeare, Philip Sidney, George Herbert, Robert Herrick, Andrew Marvell... and so on.

what in the world? i, the one who dry heaved at the thought of reading Grapes of Wrath and the Great Gatsby am now enthralled by sonnets and metaphysical conceits... stuff written 500 years ago is making sense to me, capturing my attention, and making me think.
I've been finding that the poetry section we are in appeals to me a lot because i am a sucker for clever, thoughtful, profound, persuasive, and relevant prose--me, a rhetoric major? nah, really? i know. shocking.
similarly, i am particularly fond of certain songs these days. you know how much i like lyrics; i often post lyrics to songs that have really caught my eye.
i guess poetry of the 1500s is the equivalent to those songs i love.

and this is even nerdier... because it is that time of year (thought i disagree... it is way too soon to be that time of year), people are curious as to what you fancy in regards to a certain holiday and the tradition of wrapped up items under trees. when all i've managed to even consider suggesting so far is purely books, mainly of the fine literature and poetry variety, i've pounded the gavel, case closed--sentenced to a life sentence, guilty of being a nerd.
that's okay. i've come to accept it.

the particular group of poets we are studying right now (metaphysical and cavalier) are from a time period that really emphasized carpe diem. yes, anyone who has seen Dead Poet's Society (which, i currently really really want to see) knows that the Latin translates into "seize the day." i always thought it was cliche, but reading the works of poets like Herbert and Donne and Herrick bring the concept into a whole new light.

i read this particular poem last night, and i am going to post it.
and i have a feeling there will be quite a bit more. but i promise i will post them fairly spread out--i don't want this blog to turn into english homework... i just want to put up some stuff i've grown to appreciate.

so, my first selection comes from Robert Herrick.
(and keep in mind, "virgins" is translated in that time as "unmarried women")
To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time

Gather ye Rose-buds while ye may,
Old Time is still a flying:
And this same flower that smiles to day,
Tomorrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the Sun,         
The higher he’s a getting;
The sooner will his Race be run,
And nearer he’s to Setting.

That age is best, which is the first,
When Youth and Blood are warmer;            
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may, go marry:
For having lost but once your prime,           
You may forever tarry.

Well, whaddya think?

oh. and an explanation of last night's title: I shall smell of the lamp.
"To smell of the lamp" is a proverbial expression for a laborious literary production. it can be good and bad... i'm not so sure where i was going with it, but i felt like it worked.

well, tis all for now.
go read some poetry or something.

i shall smell of the lamp

2008-11-20T00:25:00.003-05:00

disclaimer: it's very long. i mean it. but, please, don't let that deter you. and a second part to the disclaimer. i'm giving you yet another look at the work in progress i am. i'm telling ya, even when i'm not too happy about it, i'm learning what this thing called life is all about. and i'm going to be honest. so with that in mind...

Crazy how taking a drive, walking through a foot of snow to the edge of Lake Michigan, and freeing your mouth and lungs from the restraints of common decency can really be a sort of therapy.

Although it wasn't humorous to me at the time, I can't help but shake my head and smirk as I picture what the lone seagull 50 yards away witnessed on the snow covered shore of Lake Michigan monday afternoon.

Really quick. There is this thing here called "lake effect." The lake effect leaves the lakeshore cities with significantly more snow than GR. When I left, GR had no snow on the ground nor in the air. But on my drive down to Holland, the amount of snow in both spheres gradually increased until I was in a foot of snow and the snow flakes fell thickly... looking more like a block of styrofoam was sent through that thing in the fridge that changes your cubed ice to crushed.

The very sight of me should have sent the seagull off to round up his buddies for a quality comedy hour.
Only my eyes were visible, for my head was hidden beneath two hoods cinched tightly. My gloveless hands wouldn't dare leave my coat pockets and face the icy wind any more than a child would dare to leave his room and face his mom after breaking the neighbor's window. The pant legs of my jeans were bunched up to the middle of my shins. And those Napolean Dynamite-esque boots I intended to part with and donate to the salvation army came in handy one last time. I threw them on in haste and out of fear of frozen toes.
I didn't even bother to tuck my jeans into my boots. I had an appointment with God, and I wasn't about to fuss over proper looking pant legs.

The seagull likely saw the lone set of footprints in the snow originating from the single car in the parking lot, traversing through the wooden fences, and ending at the feet of the individual standing at the lake's edge.
I had trudged through the deep snow with eyes fixed on the lake. God knew I was coming, He knew I was angry.

You know how, on TV, one of the characters gets really angry and storms into the office where the unsuspecting soon-to-be-accused individual is sitting, reading the newspaper? And the cinematography of the scene works in a very specific way:
The camera tracks the anger-driven approach of the accuser and then cuts away to the defendant looking up from the day's headlines with a look of "what the hell is going on/I don't know what happened, but she is convinced I did it."

And of course, not a word is spoken until the fuming accuser arrives at the desk of the clueless individual who is bracing himself for something major.

That's when the accuser throws a file on the desk and the audience gasps because they know the secret is out. The defendant looks at the file and then up at the scowling woman, who at that point has tears pushing the maximum holding capacity of her eyes. He is speechless because he can't figure out how in the world she managed to get her hands on the file that exposed his true identity as an alien-born professional ice cream man involved in a major drug scandal.

This is where we cut away to a commercial break... naturally.

And when we return, they are still staring at each other in silence, and before he can utter the words, "I can explain," she bursts into undecipherable yells and threats, thinking their relationship could never recover from such a breach of trust...
...even though she is prego with his brother's child. gasp!

Now that I've gotten carried away (and exposed the plot of every single soap opera ever written), I will continue.
That angry girl.. that was me (minus the prego part). I marched up to the edge of the lake, a file of grievances against God in hand, ready to just give it to Him. But I knew that God wasn't unsuspecting of my arrival... after all, I had told him during my first class of the day that I was going to be coming and that I was going to give him a piece of my mind. It wouldn't be fair to just spring something like that on Him.

That brought me to the lake's edge, staring out at the choppy waters. It was the first time I had ever seen waves, actual surfable waves, on Lake Michigan. And I was glad to hear the waves... it was good background noise for what I was about to do.
It also added to the dramatic atmosphere. Essential.

Standing there, just staring, I wondered where to begin. That's when the seagull would have seen the individual in black meijer snowboots begin to pace back and forth in the snow, blazing a 15-foot long of path from the repeated treading on and packing of the fresh snow.

You have to understand something about me. When it comes to confrontation, I'd much rather write out my beefs with people--if I was angry at someone, I'd prefer to write it down, hand it to them, and stand there as they read it rather than just think and talk off the top of my head.
And that is why I wished there was a massive dry-erase board or magna-doodle on the beach that I could write in really large print on (really large print signifying yelling, of course). But my lungs were tired of not being involved in my methods of venting, and so I stopped for a moment and uttered the first word: "Why?"

I know... way to come out swinging, Cristina.
But really.
I was surprised at how good it felt to say it--not think it--say it. So I said it a bit louder... and again, louder, and then again, with my Italian tendency to involve my hands in a dramatic manner. The seagull probably thought I was just a crazy human trying to fly away or something.
As the pacing resumed, eerily and worriedly familiar thought started flowing.
This is a good point to stop and say what exactly spurred the spontaneous trip to Holland.
To be frank and sum it up in a few words: fear, suffering, and frustration.

Fear that some things might never come. Fear of not being accepted, of not being significant. Fear of losing friends, and that my family and friends didn't understand just how much they meant to me, how much I loved them.
Suffering in the form of stress, in the form of heartache. Suffering as the result of empathizing the pains both past and present of those I loved, and feeling like I couldn't help.
And frustration--oh the frustration. Frustrated with my inability to handle all this normally. Frustrated with my insecure and jealous tendencies that lead me to thrive off the equation of attention equaling acceptance... equaling happiness.

Well now.
I seem to have created some awkward tension tantamount to the awkward tension found in an advanced drawing class that is having its first day of nude models as the subject of the assignment. Think about it--for the first time models and the freshman who was only in this class because of a scheduling mis-hap, that's gotta have some awkward tension.

But.
Moving on.

With all that stuff flying through my mind, leading my argument with the word "why" seemed to be just fine.
If it didn't make me sound crazy, I'd tell you that the seagull shouted an "amen" in agreement with and support of the profundity that my thesis provided.
But that would make me sound crazy.

The pacing resumed, as did a stream of words and tears that turned into mini salt-slushies because of the freezing temps. I didn't want to pace anymore--I was tired. The waves captured my attention, and I just stood there. Numb. Both from the extreme cold and from pouring out all that was bottled up. The painful grievances were momentarily laying out in the snow, being caught up in the waves, on God's desk, waiting for an explanation.

God! You know how much my heart aches for this. You know how hard I try to be patient, how hard it is to convince myself that I am not defective. You know how hard it is to not feel left out, to try and trust your "wonderful" plan for me.
You know how much I want to believe that.
But right now... I don't.
Ya, people say you know what you're doing, that you don't want me to get hurt.
Well, hate to break it to ya, but I'm hurting right now. Can you just give me a break here?
I'm begging you. Please.
You know my heart. You know how much the word "hurt" is an understatement. You know how I feel when I am aware of what I lack. You know that I'm not seeing a bright side to all this.
Some of this stuff I'm getting all worked up over--I know, it's petty, it's lame. Other people are angry at you for the loss of a loved one, for the cancer they've been diagnosed with, for shattered dreams. I understand how selflish I probably sound. But. It still hurts.
God. Please. Can't you just help me out here? Am I wrong in all this?

In a way, yelling at God was one of the most satisfying things, one of the best things to do at that very moment.
Arguing with, yelling at, and questioning God all seem to be taboos. Yes, we are told that it is okay to do those things, but I've rarely heard of someone encouraging it, saying it's healthy, it helps.
It helps, yes... but it doesn't fix.

I was still angry. But I was no longer just angry. It felt like I had actually gotten somewhere, made progress, ready for the next step of sorting out this mess.
And that dang cliche knocked on my heart again:
"It's all a part of God's plan. You can't see it right now, but He knows what He's doing."
I absolutely hate it.... can't stand it... because it's so true... and not only is it true, but it puts me in my place, and then it reminds me of God's place.

Think of when kids get assigned to do a chore... like the dishes. They are not happy about it, and they'll make sure you know it. They'll do the dishes, for you are higher up in household rank. But as they "obey" they clink the dishes super loud, shove the utensils loudly into the dish washer, slam the cupboard, all while wearing an angry look of disgust on their face.
That's like me when I am reminded of my place in life that God has planned. I'll admit that God is indeed in control, but then I'll casually mention to Him that I currently think that this part of the plan sucks and needs revising.

I think God handles bluntness rather well.
And while I hate not knowing "why," I can't help but be reminded that God has the bird's eye view in this whole thing.
And He has proven that to me in the past... many times.

I walked back to the car and looked back at the lake. What was once a single lonely set of footprints as I had stood by the lake shore was now accompanied by the returning set of foot prints.

And of course, another cliche knocked me upside the head: that whole "Footprints in the Sand" poem thing.
I looked up to where the snow was still falling from and immaturely pointed out to God...
"Ok, I get it. But this is different. it's snow... not sand... and I'm still not happy with you."

I got in the car, started the engine, and couldn't help but say one last thing.
"I guess I'm just going to have to trust you on this one.
but remember... I'm still not happy."

What better cliche verse to end a cliche lesson than Prov 3:5?
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding."

I wanted to share this because 1) it means a lot to me 2) i hope some of you can find some sort of comfort in knowing that this happens to more people than just you 3) it really is funny sometimes how we fuss over these things. that's why i try to keep the tone light... life is funny... even in the dark.

poet tree

2008-11-14T08:58:00.002-05:00

so we are in the poetry unit in my Brit Lit class...
and normally i hate poetry units.
surprisingly enough, i am actually enjoying it. writers like philip sidney and, of course shakespeare. actually, it's shakespeare's sonnets that i really like... i will have to post one or two of my favorites up sometime.
so that's why there is a poem in yesterday's post... i've been coming across poetry as i have been looking at stuff online, and i like that one (particularly because of the heavy sarcasm).

it has been raining so much here, but i have been lovin it. like i said before, anything that makes me have to dress warm and cozy makes me smile.

off i go... two classes and then it is the weekend!

sympathetic hunger

2008-11-13T18:26:00.003-05:00

one says to the other:
eaten I've not in days equaling a month and two.

the other says to one:
eaten I've never... I think I might be just as unfortunate as you.

the one complains:
you understand not a bit
for food has already before graced my lips.
I sit in agony
deprived of food at my fingertips.

the other bows down out of reverence untrue:
Do pardon,
I am mistaken.
The torment your fleeting fast inflicts is far more than I could begin to imagine.

Better suited am I to have starved my whole life...
I dare not eat, then live two days and a month drowning in strife.

Foreign is the pain in your gut now hollow;
you pang for delicacies of which you've already swallowed.
you've gone on and on about meals and the bliss that followed.

Indeed, my mouth does not water at details of how you once dined.
At this I will kick up my feet, relax, recline--
for my life of complete starvation surely surpasses the hell that is thine.

-unkown

days like this

2008-11-12T12:43:00.003-05:00

wake up, shower, head to class.
take notes, space out, next class.
take notes, doodle, back to the dorms.
pretty much a typical day for me.
but i particularly loved today because i got to wear mittens and a scarf. i even got to put my hood up on the way back from class... kind of like how convertible drivers love when the day is nice enough to put the roof down, i love days that are perfect for putting my hood up.
things like that put grins on my face.

...

for the most part, the floor disease has passed. however, we are kind of unsure about how true that is. a few girls have been getting sick again after being well for a day... and after being sick for a few days, last night i finally started feeling better. i am doing my best to ignore the fact that whatever this is may be sneaking up on me again.

...

other exciting news: i made a craigslist purchase the other day... a sweet old schwinn twinn tandem bike. this thing is pretty awesome. i used my newfound negotiation skills to talk him down to a very good price, and i just have to clean this puppy up a bit before it is ready for a ride.
that, and i need a semi-clear day where it isn't rainy.
i know, i couldn't have gotten this at a worse time. but hey, come springtime, this is going to be a blast.

...

this is fun:
these guys on our brother floor started a wednesday night tradition back at the beginning of school. We have a VanderWerp Community Tea Time. Everyone brings a mug and gathers in their room.
Their room: tea-esque music, soft lighting, and a shelf full of a multitude of teas... way more variety than you see at starbucks. it's very similar to the choices we see in the dining halls... but maybe that's because most of the boxes came from the dining halls... but we won't mention that to anyone now, will we? There is usually some delightful conversation as well.
I arrived a bit late today, but I had a great time. It's a perfect time for a study break (8pm on wednesdays). It always surprises me to see how many turn up to steep some tea and chit chat. I'll have to give a little detailed story about it soon, cause some interesting things do come up.

...

i must be off to practice my speech. in my oral rhetoric class tomorrow i am giving an informative speech on unicycles.
fun stuff!

mere minutes

2008-11-11T21:58:00.002-05:00

My attention span sucks.

Take my Brit Lit class for example. Well, I've actually been enjoying Brit Lit a lot more than I expected. It helps that my prof is actually fairly hilarious and interesting. Aside from the occasional spacing out, I find myself actually paying attention and focusing in that class.

At least, I find myself focusing well for 59 seconds at a time. And that is because every 60th second produces a loud click.

Two clicks, actually.

In Brit Lit, the clock is on the wall directly to my left. This clock is prime example of strategic choice and location of time keeping devices in classrooms.

When it comes to classroom clocks, the variety is almost non-existent. I find that the clocks in most of my classrooms lack a second hand.

A wise choice.

Students like me would see the constant movement of the second hand out of the corner of their eye and quickly be pulled into being hypnotized by the monotonous and steady journey the second hand takes around the face of the clock.
It's easier to be distracted by something that moves every second than it is to have your attention held captive by something that moves only once a minute.

Don't believe me?
What is more fascinating... a spider monkey after a venti mocha or a sloth after a swig of nyquil?
That's what I thought.
Once the clock has been picked out with students like me in mind, it is now time to find the best location.

FIRST. Never put the clock on the wall in the front of the class. If you choose to do so, you are asking for an anxious and unresponsive class of students. Instead of focusing intently on the prof and lecture, the students will be riveted by the oh so fascinating passing of time.
Trust me. Profs don't want to feel that a minute hand is more interesting than their lecture that took 8 years of college to be able to do.

The best location for a clock in a classroom is on the back wall. That way, if students try to look at the clock, they have to turn around and check the time. And trust me, there is no discreet way to turn around and check the time.

The very idea of having to turn around in an attention-catching manner discourages many-a-students. They rarely work up the courage to turn around; if and when they do, they know that they are sending a message to the prof that isn't far from the age-old road-trip question, "Are we there yet?"

Even if the clock is out of sight and lacking a second hand, it still can make its presence known.
Well, the one in my Brit Lit class does, and it does so by announcing the passing of each minute. It does so by marking the expiration of each minute not with one click but two.

In fact, I've closely observed the minute hand passing the threshold of each minute.
The minute hand actually falls back ever so slightly and momentarily before jumping forward, all the way to the appropriate minute.
It's almost as if the minute hand itself is tired of the monotonous task it performs day in and day out. It is so tired and unmotivated that it needs to step back and get a running start before leading us into the next minute of our life.

And at 10:58 in every Brit Lit class, the sluggish minute hand gets stuck for two minutes.
10:59 does not exist. It stays at 10:58 and then jumps all the way to 11:00 after a two-minute breather.
Fascinating.

more on this to come.

no noro?

2008-11-10T16:54:00.002-05:00

hope college is amidst a norovirus breakout.
for those of you who don't know, the norovirus is basically the flu on steroids and lasts for 24-48 hours... and it is extremely contagious.
there was actually a norovirus breakout at snow mountain ranch this summer. it was contained rather well.
but move into the dormitory setting, and you get what hope college is dealing with right now...
over 400 infected students, and classes and all sporting events canceled through at least wednesday.

third noordy (my floor) has been rumored to have the virus. as of yesterday, about 6 or so girls were sick. the panic for most set in and that's where the idea of norovirus came to mind. only the symptoms don't match... not as instantaneous and extreme as norovirus.
speaking as one who got sick this morning, i have theory:
stomach flu, something in the food, and the mentalality all rolled into one creates a psuedonorovirus.
after this morning, i actually started to feel better... in fact, i felt great. as of about a half hour ago, i'm getting that funky feeling again, but i am trying to keep a positive mentality... and wash my hands a lot.

crazy how fast things spread in a dorm.
i guess that's the downside of close-knit communities.
but hey, we can bond in our pathetic puking fests.
sorry. that was gross.

i'll keep y'all updated...
and not in so much detail next time :)

here comes the snow, here goes the sun

2008-11-09T23:49:00.003-05:00

it snowed today.
and by that, i mean, IT SNOWED A TON TODAY!
so incredibly awesome.
first snow of the year.
AND it stuck!
craziness.
quick update on the life and times of cristina:
went to downtown chicago for the first time. pretty cool place. our little group of 5 missed the first metra train.
the metra is quite the experience.
as said by the boy sitting two seats away from me: "i LOVE TRAINS! trains are SO COOL!"
i am quite possibly going to be the owner of a tandem bicycle soon. thanks to craigslist and my new found persuasion/negotiating skills, a sweet retro tandem bike will be roaming the streets of GR.
of course, the timing couldn't be any worse, what with it being snow season and all.
nonetheless, i can't wait.
and my first article made it in last week's Chimes. it was pretty exciting. i've started my next article... i hope to submit it in not this week's but next week's paper.

well, 'tis all for now.

A Life of Moments

2008-11-06T20:44:00.003-05:00

The concept of life is fascinating.
Nothing is certain until it happens; and even then, we can sometimes find ourselves confused as to what exactly happened.
When life happens, I like to think of why it happens. Why is my life unfolding the way it is? Why do I have this life and not that life?

Then there are the little details of life--the seemingly superficial things that can stir up the deepest and most moving emotions. They are the moments that move you to laugh out loud, bring you to tears, make your heart stop, get your pulse racing. They are even the moments where you feel void of anything at all. Unpleasant and empty, those are the moments that lead us to question our ability to ever feel alive again.
Am I emotionally paralyzed? Or has the weight of the world merely sat on me too long, causing my soul to fall asleep like my butt does during a particularly long lecture?
Just like silence can be deafening, the absence of feeling can be painful.
A loss of feeling leads to a loss of self.
A loss of self leads to a loss of faith.
And a loss of faith ultimately leads to a loss of hope.

I'm not saying that this chain of events is immanent--if you find yourself starting to panic, don't throw your hands up in surrender just yet.
Remember, life is defined by moments, short or long, that we find ourselves in.
And there's no easy way to solve the problems of the tough moments life dishes out. There isn't a one word answer or spark notes on making it through the trying times.
I know. That sucks. And I thought not having sparknotes on The Canterbury Tales was disappointing.
But the best I've got to share isn't exactly something I cam up with. These words come from Brandon Heath:

"There is hope for me yet,
Because God won't forget
All the plans he has for me.
I'll just have to wait and see.
He's not finished with me yet."

I think there is great comfort to be found in knowing that God is going somewhere with my life. These moments aren't random and useless. One moment leads to another.
Yes, there are dark moments, but there are also many beautiful and bright moments...
And the wonderful thing is that both the dark and bright moments are what shape us.
In essence, we are a life of moments.

pictures

2008-11-03T12:49:00.006-05:00

here are some pics from halloween weekend...
as you can see, a group of us got together and dressed up as mighty morphing power rangers...
only my favoritest show when i was a kid.
we made our costumes with thrifty clothing, felt, and a couple of safety pins. not bad if you ask me.
here are some of the pics, but do go to the gallery to see all of them... the latest albums added are "hayride of death" and "halloween" something or other.
enjoy.

hay dive

2008-10-31T12:32:00.003-04:00

I love how such crappy situations bring forth some of the most beautiful memories... if you think about it, it's all the crap that helps us grow in ourselves, with God, and with each other.
Kind of how pretty flowers spring up from manure--horse crap--crap.
Looking at "the good and the bad" as mutually exclusive events is one way to see life... things are either good or bad... the low lows make the high highs higher.
I think that we can all agree that nothing in life is black and white like this way of thinking. I don't think the either/or perspective suffices when it comes to the beautiful and the ugly times we face in life.

There are times where the situation may be crappy, but in spite of that, there are glimpses of beauty to be discovered. They are those times that bring hope and make all the pain worth it, even if for just a brief moment.

Think back to the flower for a second.
It's a pretty flower--all big and pink... kind of like a gerber daisy.
The flower is indeed beautiful, but it is still essentially surrounded and stuck in manure... aka, crap. It's not like the flower's presence magically turns the manure into that chocolate pudding-and-crushed oreos mix that you used to get for dessert as a kid. No, it's still just a bunch of smelly dirt.

The dirt doesn't change. Instead, we just might begin to see something that we didn't see before. There is a little flower sprouting up, distinguishing itself as something beautiful.
Life is all about growing flowers amidst all the crap life throws at you.
It's about finding those flowers and appreciating their beauty because of what they are and where they are coming from. And while one flower is all we need to get started and give us something to hold on to in the tough times, it would be wrong to stop there. Keep growing flowers, keep finding all the beauty there is in life, and grow a beautiful garden filled with the blessings gained in spite of the tough times--all those good memories, good feelings, and good people that could easily be looked past if not deliberately searched for.

I love it when people find beauty in the midst of despair.
And I've discovered that a particular characteristic has developed and become more prominent in me over the past year or so:
Empathy.
When someone near and dear to me hurts, I hurt.
When they rejoice, I rejoice.

I want nothing more than for them to see the bit of light among the thick darkness, the beautiful in spite of the ugly, the break in the chaos lasting just long enough to take a breath.
And to me, empathy isn't just experiencing this with them--it is also helping them find that light, the beautiful, a moment to breathe.
From the perspective of the one inside all this mess, the one thing that can bring hope in a seemingly hopeless situation seems non-existent. Finding hope can feel like finding a needle in a hay stack--frustrating, disheartening, overwhelming, down right torture; all to the point of near surrender.

But you know what?
That needle is in the haystack, is it not?
The needle does exist... the hope does exist.
And sometimes we just need someone to dive into the haystack with us, someone to dive into the chaos with us.
Not only can they help to find the hope and beauty, but they can also share in the pain, keep you company, cheer you on...
So to me, empathy is jumping into a haystack for someone. It's joining in the chaos and helping them find the beauty when times seem like nothing but crap. And even better, it's rejoicing when they have seen a bit of that light.

and while i'm already talking about hay, i should let y'all in on a recent event... this past monday was our dorm hay ride/sqaure dance mixer at post family farms. i'm too sleepy to write it all out, so i will just copy and paste the article i wrote on it for Chimes:

A hayride gone haywire left nearly 30 Noordewier VanderWerp residents soaked and on the verge of hypothermia when their trailer tipped and dumped them into a pond on Monday night.
Cameras, cell phones, shoes, purses, ipods, and clothes were on the list of lost or damaged items resulting from the unexpected plunge into the pond, but luckily no one suffered any serious injury, according to NVW’s dorm president, Savannah Gruesbeck.
The hayride took place at Post Family Farms on a night that Noordewier resident Carolyn Affholter described as “cold—freezing!” In fact, a student had noted the temperature displayed on a bank sign to be 34 degrees Fahrenheit when driving to the farm.
A tractor pulled two trailers filled with hay and passengers around the property; Lindsey Jetter, a Noordewier resident, recalled that “it wasn’t smooth, but that’s what you expect in a hayride—a couple of bumps here and there.”
While many of the students in the rear trailer—the one that tipped—described the event as happening in “slow motion” and “surreal,” VanderWerp resident Alex Verseput described what happened from his perspective in the front trailer.
As the driver drove too close to the edge of the pond, the rear trailer began to tip to the right and kept tipping until it was standing on its side, dumping all of its passengers, according to Verseput. He had yelled to the driver to stop because the driver was unaware of what had happened.
“I was shocked, and the screams scared me,” said Verseput. Affholter was among the few passengers who were completely submerged in the freezing, murky water; not only did she get soaked, but she also found her cell phone broken due to water damage.
The students showed a mixed reaction when commenting on the handling of the situation by the farm staff. While most students, preferring not to be named, were disappointed with the slow response of the driver, others gave credit to the rest of the staff in this unexpected crisis.
Affholter explained that, once the trailer was finally flipped back over and returned to the farm, the students were directed to the farm kitchen where staff brought blankets and hot cocoa to the students as they exchanged clothes and told their version of the story.
A common opinion voiced was that of the gratitude toward fellow residents on the ride. Jetter said she was impressed by the initiative of fellow residents reacting quickly and with concern for the well-being of those cold and drenched, offering up any dry clothes they had.
Calvin College, NVW Resident Director Aaron Einfeld, and dorm president Gruesbeck are working on getting a list of lost and damaged items. While they can’t promise anything, they are working with the staff of Post Family Farms to possibly provide reimbursement for lost and damaged property, according to Gruesbeck. She also commented on the great cooperation that the farm is showing in this situation.

And I thought gravitational pull made the world go round...

2008-10-26T16:10:00.003-04:00

Every single one of our computers shut off. I was in journalism, and ten minutes after class started, I found myself watching every single computer, one after the other, succumb to the black-screen plague.

Our entire campus and part of Grand Rapids had lost power.
Why?
A squirrel thought the main electricity/power source would be the prime spot for storing his acorns for the winter--after all, it didn't look like any other squirrels seemed to be using it.
High voltage + squirrel = well, in the words of Quiznos, mmm, toasty.
Events like this are so fun for me. I love things that mix it up a bit... and this power outage mixed the day up better than martha stewart could mix up a batch of cookie batter.
Even more fun than the actual event is seeing how people react to it.
Do you realize that all it takes to mak the US shutdown is a squirrel in a power box? well, figuratively speaking, of course, cause that would be one big squirrel and one big power box if all of america were plugged into it... and naturally, Hawai'i would have to be connected wirelessly.
So the power went out... causing the internet to go out... leaving thousands of college students sitting on the floor of their dark dorm room, rocking back and forth in the fetal position because their entire life has been suspended in the amount of time it takes a squirrel to short out a power box--which i hear isn't much time at all.
Classes got cancelled because teachers couldn't remember how to teach like they did, say, oh, seven years ago, before they used power point to flash information in front of our eyes at high speeds. No electricity? No power point, and no class.
Students flocked back to their rooms excited for classes to be cancelled. And just as they were about to jump on the computer and check their email or facebook...
oh ya, internet is out.
well, i can just pass some time watching a bit of TV... wait, TVs need electricity. and by the time you've already thought of five other electronically dependent activities that you can't do, it dawns on you the crisis you are in.
That brings us to the college students in the fetal position rocking back and forth on the floor of their lightless dorm room.
And that's where I found myself... minus the fetal position and floor. Instead, i sat on the futon with absolutely no idea of what to do with my time.
There was this time, you know, like a hundred years ago... ya, it reminded me of that.
With cell phones being the only working technology, I found myself calling people and leaving messages for entertainment.
On my way to speech class i walked over the Belt Line on Calvin Crossing... the traffic light on the belt line was out... not blinking like it was out of order... completely out, lacking any luminary properties... leaving cars parked bumper to bumper further than i could see.
Yes, I still had class because all we had to do was speak, and last time i checked, we don't really require electricity to do that.
The power did eventually turn back on after about three hours.
But I must say that I got a kick out of watching all of Calvin College stop dead in its tracks because of a squirrels capability to conduct electricity.

FOR RENT: part two in the "search for a dwelling place" series

2008-10-23T20:04:00.002-04:00

I was standing outside the office door at the Lakewood Hills Apartments with my roommate when i heard the disheartening news.

With the door closed and no eyepatched senior citizen there to answer the door, i had to call the phone number scrawled on the chalkboard attached to the door. That's when I learned of the crushing figures.
After I got off the phone with the manager, I pouted, on the verge of a temper tantrum, and gave my roomie the pricey news.
$1875. A month. For a 2 bedroom apartment.
AKA. no college students allowed.

Resisting the urge to kick the building or draw a pirate saying "come back on monday" on the chalkboard, we sulked back to my car. The pit-stop at Lakewood Hills was our 3rd stop of the day... the first being at Perkins (where my roomie's car had spent the night due to a busted clutch). we went in and ate some delicious pumpking pie as we waited for the tow truck.
The next stop was the dealership, and then we were on our way to Lakewood Hills--however, we took a scenic route. We took Reeds Lake Drive all the way around the lake... the trees (and houses) were absolutely amazing. To label these leaves just green, orange, yellow, and red would be like calling Half Dome just a big rock--that is quite the understatement.

Fall is clearly here. The leaves have begun their gravity-induced adventure from tree branch to the ground, joining the other leaves that have already completed their pilgrimage. This is definitely my favorite time of the year.

Just the other day I was walking back from class when i saw a little girl, about four years old, playing in the leaves. She'd grab an armful of leaves and then run around, leaving a trail of leaves falling behind her. She finally resolved to do what is practically instinctive in a child at this time of the year: she scooped up as many leaves as her little arms could hold and then threw them in the air. This joyous act had required so much effort and enthusiasm that, as the leaves went up, she fell down on her butt. The airborn leaves made their trip to the ground for a second time, this time covering the girl.
I love it.

Ok, back to the main story.
With the numbers $1875 still haunting us, we ended up on a neighborhood tour, scanning lawns for the very signs our mission called for: "FOR RENT." The going was slow at first... we saw a lot of lawns decorated with "for sale" signs and the politically charged "McCain Palin" and "Obama" signs.
For the record, when I have a front lawn, it will have a pink flamingo and a gnome on it. And around election time, I will stick a sign that says... well, i don't know what it will say, but i've got four years to think of something clever.

After a bit of meandering, we finally found one... actually, three, all on the same street. This was exciting. We took down all three phone numbers so that we could call for some more information. My roommate made the first call. Oddly enough, the owner happened to be at the house working on it and said that we could stop by and check it out.
This cute little house (with a porch on the front of it) was empty but smelled of fresh paint. The wooden floors sent the echoes of hour steps throughout the room, but i did take note that these floors were perfect for sock-skating.

My favorite part was the kitchen... black and white checkered floors and red walls. So much fun.
Since our need for a place to rent isn't until May, there wasn't much we could do, but the owner was very nice and encouraged us to keep checking in with him.
Since then, more ideas have come up and we are starting to go back more in the direction of apartments again.
But those details will come in part 3.
Soon. I promise.

welcome back

2008-10-22T18:10:00.004-04:00

well, we're back here... and to be honest, i've kind of missed it.
so i am glad to be back, and this time with a few new features.
since i really liked having a photo gallery to mass upload pictures to, i have created a website through smugmug that will have all my pictures. i will still put pictures up on here in posts, but i always feel so limited in how many i put up (because i can only do three at a time). so, a complete collection of photos will be available at that site.
the link to my photo gallery is:

http://stav.smugmug.com/web%20posts

you don't need a username or anything to view it, and it is a site i share with my dad... so you can always browse through his pics too.
ok.
so, yes.
and i hope moving back here will increase the number of comments y'all leave... i kind of miss them, and i think livejournal decreased them exponentially.
we'll see.
enjoy, and please tell me what y'all think.

input

2008-08-21T11:17:00.004-04:00

after three or so years, i may or may not be switching from blogger to a new blogging host called livejournal.
it's simpler, but at the same time it has a few features that blogger lacks that i think would come in handy.
now, i won't be deleting this blog or anything (of course--i have years worth of stuff on here!). but, i would like your input on whether or not y'all like livejournal. anyone can comment (you don't need an account) and, ya. so tell me what y'all think.

stina44.livejournal.com

thanks!

and sorry about the wierdness, i will fix it soon.

all 6 at once

2008-08-12T15:08:00.009-04:00

the fun thing about being older and all of us living in different places? family get-togethers are a lot more fun. so, i haven't posted this yet because it was a surprise for steven, but i am back in CA til the end of august. i came back early so i could see my brother steven, who flew in from japan for a week with his (recently announced) fiance. fun stuff.
so i got to see all three of my brothers at once this weekend, and probably will get to a few more times this week. i don't think the 4 of us have been together in a long time... i definitely can't think of the last time... it has to have been 2 or 3 years. so it's been a blast seeing them.
anyhow, enjoy the pics, and i'll make sure to update soon.

this pic of the four of us... i looked at it, and i just thought... wow, we look old. i mean, compared to 15 years ago (like this pic i found), we're big! it didn't really hit me until i saw that pic of us we took this weekend.

sweet pic

2008-08-03T18:41:00.002-04:00

so my dad took this really sweet pic while he and my mom were here last weekend... he photoshopped it, and i think it looks super cool. i just had to share it.

we've had an awesome thunderstorm all day today... TONS of lightning, massive downpours, and soul shaking thunder. wonderful stuff.

_

2008-08-02T23:23:00.003-04:00

dear anonymous-
pardon my lack of posting. you see, i spend about 7 hours a day in my room... the same number of hours i spend sleeping. the other 17 hours are spent out and about on the zip-line, leading hikes, leading campfires, and partaking in meals. i confess there is also the occasional nap.
so, if you (whoever you are) would like a personal update, go ahead and call me.
and know that this post is all in good fun... and it was directed toward an anonymous comment left in response to my lack of posting. i found it funny and as something that i could write a quick post about.

anyhow

but honestly, i do apologize for the lack of posting. i really miss spending time sitting down and writing stuff out, so i am trying really hard to get back to it.

my little story for today is a bit of a proud one... i received employee of the week for this past week. i'm not gonna lie, i'm a bit stoked.

alrighty, i hope your weekend is going well.

epic

2008-07-31T22:28:00.002-04:00

here are some pics that i would call epic... and the last one is a house built into a boulder... in boulder, co.

pink

2008-07-28T19:18:00.002-04:00

there comes a time in life where morals are challenged. actually, i am pretty sure there are many times where morals are challenged.
now, i've debated about whether or not I should share this story so publicly. In fact, at one point i was sure that i wouldn't post it on the blog. but last weekend introduced a new dynamic and a happy ending to this life lesson, so ive decided that i'd like to share it.
what i ask for in return for my honesty is that you will read it all the way through. deal? k, good... lets continue.
there is a part of SMR (snow mountain ranch) that has remained hidden to most and left out of my posts this summer. you kind of have to be staff here... staff that live in the bays... in order to know that drinking is a huge part of "the bays culture." until this summer, i've never really been in proximity of people drinking... never went to those cliche parties with red cups... never had friends that got mixed up in that whole deal... never even saw it. after arriving at SMR and gaining a couple of friends, i've found myself submerged into the world of designated driving and hair holding.
yes, i've been offered a drink many times. yes, i've said "no" everytime, and no, they haven't given me a hard time or pressured me. it's nice to know they respect my choice.
but just because the peer pressure is absent doesn't mean that the temptation and opportunities are absent as well. i'm not saying that i've wanted to drink, i'm just saying that saying "no" is a lot harder than i thought it would be... especially when no one is even asking the question. the drinks are just there--it's not a matter of me just saying "yes" or "no." it's a matter of me deciding in my head exactly what i am or am not going to do. this whole thing hit me hardest about two weeks ago.
5 of us girls who live in the bays got together for a "girl's night" in order to say good-bye to the two of them who were leaving. it was good fun--ice cream, chocolate, stories... and then came happy hour.
out came the bottle of razz bacardi and the two litre bottle of lemonade. the question was asked of me once, and only once, and of course, i politely declined. once it was established who was drinking (them) and who wasn't (me), they pulled out the pink nalgene bottle--the goblet of choice for holding the one part razz bacardi and four parts lemonade cocktail (for the first round, at least).
once mixed, the conversation continued and the pink nalgene began to be passed around the circle of five... take a sip, pass it on... take a sip, pass it on... and then me... pass it on. i tried to play that pass off as if that nalgene didn't tempt me any more than a glass of V8 would. the pink nalgene then continued it's familiar course through the next four girls until it would get to me again. pass it on. another circuit, and it was to me again. funny how although the level of the cloudy mixture got lower with every round, but the level of temptation didn't. what was so tempting? here are the thoughts i found myself facing... in reality, a single sip would do absolutely nothing... in reality, no one but the four would know... in reality, nothing would change. and you know what? i stand by that. a single sip would do nothing... but who's to say that it stops at a sip?
anyhow, i left the room that night mentally exhausted... i wasn't sure how i had made it out without having a drink... i was almost positive that my first drink was coming out of that pink nalgene. what kept me from giving in? at one point in the night, i took a step back to look at the story i was finding myself in the middle of. if i drank, the story would be awful... the timing would be wrong, i'd be with all the wrong people, and the story would be filled with guilt and regret. when and if i do drink, i want it to be at the right time (21) and in the right place (with my closest friends... those i'd want to share the memory with). i walked away that night having learned a ton and lost nothing.
but the story doesn't end there. it wasn't until i was in michigan that this whole waiting for the "right time, right place" idea became a solid choice of mine.
michigan's adventure... as i've already said, it was a good time. it was really good, though, because i had a moment where i realized everything was going to work out just fine.
a group of us were sitting outside of shivering timbers waiting for the rest of the group who had gone on another random ride. we were all just sitting/standing around, and my roommate asked if i wanted to split a drink from the vending machine. being thirsty, i agreed. after going through the ordeal of getting the exact change for the machine, my roommate pressed the button for the pink lemonade.
do you see where this is going? well, if you don't, it's okay... you'll see how long it took me.
so we walked back to the group and opened up the bottle of pink lemonade. she took a sip, passed it to me. i took a sip, and as i did, others had asked for a sip as well. so the bottle of pink lemonade made it's way around our little group. just as the bottle was about to come back to me, it hit me. first, that God is hilarious and is the greatest story maker of all. second, that this is how it was supposed to be. i was with all my friends, having a good time. i watched the pink bottle go around, looked at all my friends having a good time, took note of how stress-free i was, and realized how at home i was. the words "this is how it's supposed to be" just kept ringing through my head. when i looked at the pink bottle of pink lemonade, the choice became so easy for me. that moment was exactly what i needed... and i still laugh that it was pink lemonade... i think God knew that i'd get excited about a connection/symbol like that.
anyhow, so since i've been back, the choice has been easier. i just think back to that bottle of pink lemonade and remember what i realized at that moment. it really is huge for me... and it makes me super happy that i've been able to discover for myself the challenge of sticking to my morals and the reward for knowing exactly where i stand and why through a learning experience.

i guess as i grow up, the content on my blog does too.
realize that it wasn't an easy choice to put this on here (especially since it is pretty much straight from my journal), but god made it so story-esque that i knew it had to be shared.
well, tootles for now.

how it's supposed to be

2008-07-22T22:17:00.012-04:00

So here is an abundance of pictures from the bestest weekend of the summer. I flew in to ohio on Thursday, and we spent Friday and Saturday night in Grand Rap. On Saturday, a group of us headed out to this place called Michigan’s Adventure… pretty much one of the coolest places ever.
You have to understand that it has been a long while since I’ve been to a theme park with hard core coasters… I think knott’s berry farm my freshman year of highschool would be the last time. And you also have to understand that until this past weekend, I believed that I hated roller coasters… absolutely hated them.
Well, turns out things have changed, and I was wrong… cause the first thing we did when we arrived to michigan’s adventure was make our way to Thunderhawk… the new coaster in which your feet dangled and in which you experienced all sorts of twists, turns, flips, and drops… and I LOVED it. It pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day, because we ended up doing other sweet roller coasters… like the two wooden ones, Shivering Timbers and Wildcat.
The cool thing about Michigan’s Adventure is that it is also a water park… so we did a bunch of water slides and what-not as well… and the lazy river (I love the lazy rivers).
It was a blast… the whole weekend was just so great… it was awesome getting to see and hang out with everyone… I’ve missed it quite a bit. When I got to Ohio, I was reminded of the amazing fireflies (which, I caught my first one with the help of my roomie’s siblings…), of the warmth (and humidity), of the sweet thunderstorms at night (there was a sweet one driving back to Grand Rap from the theme park), and of the fact that being out there just felt so at home for me. While at my roomie’s house, we had a little fun with the waterproof camera in her pool… I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.
We even stopped by calvin while in grand rap to check the progress with the construction on the fieldhouse… and to our pleasant surprise, we found that NVW was having major renovations… the four of us (sarah, Carolyn, Lindsey, and me) are all third noorderwierians, and so when we saw that our basement was being re-done (complete with a solarium that connects the two sides of the basement), the lobby was being re-done (complete with a fireplace), and the entrance was being re-done (complete with fanch shmancy brickwork), we were super stoked.
To be honest, It was really hard to leave there and come back to Colorado. I’ve got 41 days til I go back there (yes, I am counting down, no matter how lame that is) and it seems entirely too long.
So, here are a TON of pics from this weekend… there are a ton more, so if you would like to see the complete collection, go to the following links…
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=50162&l=2247a&id=542566513
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=50163&l=dd4ae&id=542566513
that’s it for now… but stay tuned for a post entitled “pink” and for a post about fireflies… I’m kind of excited for them.

(PS. those are fireflies... one of which i caught!)

weekend trip

2008-07-21T09:11:00.003-04:00

sorry for the delay.
i know i promised a good post a couple of days ago, but considering i haven't had my laptop with me, i think that's a good excuse. in fact, i am still not back to my laptop, so this won't even be the post.
but it will be the precursor to that post.
the exciting thing was that i flew out to ohio on thursday morning. i'll be leaving this afternoon.
i flew out for a couple of reasons... one, i just had to see all my friends out here ("out here" meaning michigan, indiana, ohio)... and this weekend was the perfect time to do that because a friend of mine from grand rap was having a birthday bash where everyone was getting together and going to michigan's adventure (a theme park like knott's and raging waters mixed together). so, with a little bit of help from my friends, we managed to be sneaky and surprise carolyn (the gal whose birthday its was) with me showing up to the grand rapids... it was a good surprise... very unexpected. it's easy to pull something like that off when you're supposed to be in colorado but show up in michigan.
anyhow, so i've been out here for a bit, and to be honest, i am really reluctant to go back to colorado, but it has to be done... especially because my parents are flying out to colorado this thursday... so they'll get to see me in action at my job... cause its going to be busy. we had 5 people on staff in my department leave this past week... that's about half our adventure staff.
so
when i get back to colorado, i'll put up my abundance of pics for y'all to see.
til then, i encourage you all to watch this youtube video called "censored count"
if you can't handle something slightly inappropriate, don't watch it... but i figured, we're all adults here. plus, it doesn't actually say anything bad... it's all in your mind... and it's sesame street... so how bad can it be?
i have a feeling this is going to come back to get me.
whatever-- i'll risk it.
have a good day.

lucy and tippy

2008-07-16T13:16:00.003-04:00

well, this may come as a shock to some... but we have a new addition to the family. this little brown ball of fur has joined the family and has become a new friend for tippy.
this is lucy... she's shitzu pomeranian mix. and as you can see by tippy's extreme lean away from lucy, he's still adjusting to her.
i think they make an adorable couple... and she makes tippy look big... but she is still just a puppy.
that's it for tomorrow... but tomorrow, i'm positive i will have a super exciting post... so do check back.

up to no good

2008-07-12T02:40:00.004-04:00

what better thing to do after eating at mad munchies than to sneak into a playground at night and have some fun.

this picture of us hanging down... well, that would be me and allison... a junior at calvin who has an almost identical background when it comes to the greek and lebanese blood. for some reason, people have a hard time telling us apart... so, she gets called cristina and i get called allison at least twice a day. it's kind of ridiculous. our own supervisor has to take a few seconds before saying our name. anyhow, she's super cool (as are all greeks) and we had a blast on the playground tonight.

these parting shots would be our epic escape... from imaginary cops. we're kind of dorks... especially because if you look closely, the gate right to the right of us is open... hence the following picture.

boulder and buffalo bill

2008-07-09T14:01:00.008-04:00

so i've got some more pics for ya... i went to boulder again on monday... we had some good fun. on the way back, we stopped by buffalo bill's grave... fascinating.
work has been very busy lately... especially with operation purple camp here--a camp for kids who have at least one parent in the military. the kids range from 6-11. all i can say is that after a day like yesterday where i was left with no voice but still an incredible urge to run to the top of a mountain and scream at the top of my lungs, i know for sure that i am just not cut out to work with that age group... at least, facilitate and lead things with that age group... i just can't do it. i get too frustrated too fast. i was so stressed by the end of the day that i had to go off and do some laundry at 9pm to cool off and distract myself.
anyhow, since i am on a lunch break, i will be quick and go through some highlights:
1. capture the flag--staff vs guests. it was a blast. i think it was my best game... you see, i usually end up being the one that gets people out of jail... i rarely go for the flag. i had five jail breaks... all of which left me incredibly winded. i was so sore the next day.
2. i am now certified on the perch for the zip line (bottom pics). so instead of always working the ladder or belay, i will now be working up top. good fun.
3. slacklining... a new hobby of mine (pics in last post). basically tight rope walking. so much fun... i was also sore from that.
4. movie recommendations: in theatre... wall-E... go see it, it's good. on dvd... just friends, definitely maybe, benchwarmers... all of them, hilarious. i say go for just friends first... you will not regret it. i haven't laughed that hard in a movie in SO long... non stop laughter.
5. i've realized that i have become that random worker that shows up in everyone's family vacation photos and videos. it's funny to think about... people will be looking at photos or watching videos, and there i will be, and they'll just be like, who's that? oh ya, that girl that worked there. i think it's funny.
6. new stories, new experiences everyday... far from uneventful, and i've been keeping busy (more like my supervisors have been keeping me busy).
7. as if my circus act couldn't be any more complete, i am now a balloon artist. that's right. never done balloon animals in my life, and i got put in charge of balloon animals for the 4th of july carnival. what i am about to say is no exaggeration... from 9:30am to 3pm... balloon animals, non-stop... 5 minutes to eat a sandwich real quick, but otherwise, non-stop. i did over 100 balloon animals, and only popped 5. some of the craziest requests... dragon with wings, frog, butterfly... easy ones: wiener dog, horse, cat, monkey, bunny (aka... i rock at those undistinguishable four-legged animals that can be anything with a little tweaking and a little imagination.

that's about it for now... i still haven't managed to get a couple of really good stories out on the blog yet, but i promise, they will come.
enjoy the pics.

review in pics

2008-07-07T11:57:00.005-04:00

pics from 4th of july and what-not... enjoy (ps. i promise i will get write some of the good stories from the happenings of the past week... just as soon as i get some time!)

benefits

2008-06-30T20:29:00.009-04:00

okay... so i am going to make a deal with you... i will post a ton of fun pics today with a couple of brief stories. i'll get in to the good stories that require i bit more room on my day off--wednesday. sound good? well, it better, because you don't have a choice.
one of the benefits for being an employee here is this thing called the grand pass. basically, we reserve a pass for the day (SMR has 10 of them... and SMR pays 1600.00 a year to have them available for their employees... yes, that much). the pass gets us discounts on food in winter park, and it gives us completely free access to all the attraction at the winter park resort... a 60 dollar value, absolutely free... unlimited putt putt, alpine slide, chair lift rides, spinny machines, and more. super cool, super fun. so a group of four of us went there on our day off last week and had a ton of fun. the alpine slide was my favorite... there will be a video clip coming soon that was taken by a camera that my friend strapped to his chest as he rode down. this thing is fast... kind of like lugeing/bobsledding all rolled in one. there was also a human maze. the putt putt was a sweet course. so that's about it. oh, and then we stopped by a park on the way home... so that's what those pics are.
okay, so thats it... i will get in to more detailed stories later this week. stay tuned.

ya?

2008-06-25T19:37:00.003-04:00

not too much to say right now, but here are some pics from the week. lets see, the only ones that require some explanation... or at least some kind of story. today was my day off, so i went out on a hike to the waterfall... that's what the hike-ish looking pics are... and the water pic??? well, that's the benefit of having super-macro mode on a water proof camera, and of having the ability to hike to the top of the water fall and take that picture. i like it a lot, even though you can't really tell what it is... so ya, that's a pic from the top of the falls looking down. the campfire pic is me putting to the test my s'more rotisserie invention. it worked fairly well.
alright, i am off... some of us are going out to get some thai food tonight... super stoked.

say what?

2008-06-20T17:51:00.002-04:00

i've been debating whether or not i wanted to post about this... at least, whether or not i wanted to post about this now. after a good chunk of time out and about this morning, i've decided that it would be a good thing to get this out and written. so here goes it.
i've entered a world of uncertainty. actually, it's more like i've entered a world of more opportunities. those who know me know that i like to be positive about things. i like plans, i like thinking ahead, i like knowing the answer. if i can't achieve one of those things, i won't stop until it's settled. and once i settle something, i tend to convince myself that what i have decided is the end-all solution... the conclusion... something that is lasting... checked off my list, never going back to that question again.
for example--college. i had decided to go to calvin way earlier than most normal people choose their place of higher education. i was set. the question of "where to go to college" had the answer of "calvin."
so you can get the picture of the type of person i am. when it comes to making a decision and sticking to it, i am no piece of velcro caught on a fuzzy piece of a decision. in fact, i'd say that i am more like a tooth deeply rooted in the gums of youthful dreams.
by no means am i saying anything about youthful dreams... it's just that i am still rather young, and so my hopes and desires and plans are still a bit youthful. there's also nothing wrong with being deeply rooted. in fact, if you are rooted into something that coincided with God's desires for you, then you're set.
But.
If you find yourself rooted in something that comes from a purely inward point of view--not taking into account any other factors, something that is in the end, not meant to be--then there is something you ought to know. it takes an even stronger force to overcome one's vise grip on wayward plans. it takes a bigger thing to separate such a strong attachment. it takes more than a simple tug at velcro stuck to fuzz in order to pull a tooth away from gums. often times, what it takes, is a closed door.
exhibit A:

so, what tooth am i pulling? and what door closed?
be ware... it's gonna shock you. in fact, it still shocks me. but i will go through the story give you all a clear picture of what's going on.
there's really no way of starting it without giving it away straight from the beginning, so i guess i have to just get on with it.
well, you know how i am currently a PE major?
see, that gave it away pretty fast. one sentence, and y'all already are gasping because i am seriously considering a change in my major... and consequently, career path.
so here's the story. i can't quite remember if i vented about my issues in struggling with registering for this coming semester. but here's what happened. in the PE program, there is a pretty strict order to follow--as you've got half the classes spring only, half the classes fall only, and classes needing to be in a certain order due to pre-requisites and what-not. so, the two PE classes i needed to register for were closed. both my petitions to get into the classes were denied, as was my petition directly to the registrar. due to the connection of me being in these classes and me graduating in four years, there should have been no problem getting in... especially since there aren't many pe majors. however, by the end of it all, i was left without a single pe class and about 6 credits too short.
i got to california after the school year was over and decided to pick a minor... which many of you know is journalism. i registered for a journalism class (which was actually closed... but my petition to get in was granted in less than 24 hours).
you all know that much... here's the new stuff.
upon researching the journalism minor, i came across the business communications group major... described, in short, as follows: Advertising, public relations, sales, marketing, business writing, events planning, human resources, project management, and much more.
i clicked on it, read more, and became interested. then i read more, and became even more interested. something kept bringing me back to this business communications major... something got me thinking... something about it just sounded so right.
lets recap.
i went in to calvin deciding to be a pe major... i scoffed at every single statistic that said the odds were against me in actually graduating with the major that i started out with ( i believe it is 70% that change their major)... i always made the point to encourage people to study something they loved, not just something they knew would get them a career.... i also thought that it was just so convenient that what i loved would so easily get me a career.
but then, it happened... those two pe classes i couldn't get in to. i think of that and i hear two doors closing. i get in to a journalism class and a business communications class... is that a door i hear opening?
so that's the situation, more or less. i am trying as hard as i can to not make any decisions right now. i'm thinking this is a good opportunity to work on my patience, work on my listening skills, and work on trusting.
i actually really have to go right now, but i am sure there will be more to say in the future.
tootles

new spaces new places familiar faces-- i choose black ooze are peculiar clues

2008-06-17T22:38:00.005-04:00

since when do i take nearly a week to update? well, since i've been working a ton... including a 14 hour day on saturday. sorry for the lack of new content, but i am positive this post will make up for it... lots of pics, a new adventure, and a work story.
i'll start with the work story.
i work the zip line a lot and often find myself at the bottom of the zip working the dismount (person zips down, put up the huge ladder, climb up ladder, clip and unclip a bunch of things, climb down the ladder, put down the ladder, repeat). doing six hours of that in a row can start to take its toll. so, the other day, two kids--aged 4 and 10-- decided to sit at the bottom with me and watch the zippers from there. long story short, as i was waiting to give the go-ahead for the next zipper, the two kids decided to each take hold of one of my pant-legs and pull in the direction that gravity tends to pull. luckily i've got reflexes like a cat and a grip that tarzan would be proud of, so my shorts didn't make the journey toward the ground. but seriously, since when do i have to beware of pantsing predators?
next is very exciting... i made another trip to the thrift store to buy random cheap stuff that would add a bit of color and a personal touch to my newly re-arranged room. re-arranging and decorating has made my room quite the pleasant haven (trust me, after 10 hours of being out in the sun, a nap in my "cave" is a lot more desirable than most would think) so the pictures go as follows: view from through the door--wall to the right after walking in--wall to the left after walking in-- and wall that the door is on. any sort of color was a purchase from the thrift store... pillow, wooden blocks with "laugh often" spray painted on them, blanket, beach mat... speaking of beach mat...

the beach mat is my favorite thing... i hung it up on the wall, and used it to display some pictures. this decoration probably made me happiest.

next is from today... a group of 5 of us took an adventure to denver. it was amazing getting out of SMR for a day... such a refreshing thing. we went downtown, and our first stop was the denver REI. let me make it clear to you how i feel about the denver REI.
FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's it in a nutshell... more or less. but this rei could eat the manhattan beach, santa monica, huntigton beach, and santa ana REIs and still have room for dessert. i'm considering nominating it to be the 8th wonder of the world. three stories high, at least a football field long (i'm pretty sure it's more), a starbucks, a massive climbing wall, and a river out back to have kayaking tests and clinics. it has its own parking garage, a waterfall, and a bouldering area out front. let me repeat:
FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so here are a couple of pics of REI and downtown denver.

this made me super happy... when the rest of the group went to see a movie, i got to meet up with my friend michelle from calvin, who lives in denver... so much fun, and it was SO great to see a familiar face... SO good. we went to this sweet coffee shop called stellas and just sat and chatted for a while. so great. turns out that there is a train that goes from fraser (a town 10 miles away) to denver, so i'll get to see her again sometime soon.

and to finish the post off, i've got a little treat: 5 signs of an outdoor educator
5. dirt on the hands and under the fingernails... permanently. no measure of soap and no amount of effort will remove all the dirt until removed from the outdoor setting for at least a week.
4. harness worn in the office--because only an outdoor ed-er finds harnesses so comfortable that they've forgotten it was on.
3. beat-up nalgene and a granola-y snack on hand during breaks.
2. ability to engage even the moodiest teenagers in a round of campfire songs
1. [extreme] tan lines as follows: v-neck and sleeves from staff polos, ankles and mid-thigh from longer shorts and appropriate active footwear, 'coon eyes from sunglasses worn endlessly for hours on end in the sun every single day.

thanks for reading... have a most wonderful day.

stormy, snowy, cold colorado night

2008-06-11T23:02:00.003-04:00

colorado manages to still be pretty, even when it is flippin' cold outside and snowing like, like... well, lets say snow was powdered sugar being sifted onto the earth... well, it was snowing like a 10 year old sugar-hooked kid was in charge of sifting the powdered sugar. but here are some pics from tonight--i went fishing again, and so i got to see a sweet sunset. ps. the pic with the cross and the mountains in the background--that's the outdoor chapel... pretty sweet.
enjoy

today is not your day

2008-06-10T20:16:00.004-04:00

today was my first day off since i have been here. we (a girl in my hall and me) took advantage of having the day off and drove in to the town of fraser. we ate some mexican food (which was actually pretty good). then we walked over to the thrift store... colorado has some pretty sweet thrift stores. i scored pretty good with a pair of pants (which i didn't pack nearly enough of) a tshirt (its funny, cause its a camp shirt from 2004 in colorado, and on the back it has a husky dog on it, and it says, "woof woof mush mush". i thought it was funny) and this really sweet... i believe it is called a blazer? i'll have to show a pic of it some time... cause its awesome.
then we got back headed over to the programs building... what for, you ask? well, i now own my own fishing pole (compliments of amazing staff discounts). my friend already had her own pole, so after i got mine, we got some worms and headed out to the reservoir... its about a two mile hike, and you don't need a license to fish in it.

i have come a long way since my last fising experiences... i now bait my own hook, with worms... actually, half worms... you need to cut them in half before baiting them so that you have more. and let me tell you, the fish were loving the worms today...

i caught two fish today... and this place is a catch and release place, so i learned how to release today. i am officially a stand alone fisher. every time i caught i fish, i would look it in its fishy little eyes and say, "today is not your day.. you may be free," and then toss it back in. have you ever thought of how the fish probably goes off and finds its friends and is like, 'i've seen the other side! it's crazy!" we're probably like the equivilant of aliens to them... so, no one believes the fish that says its been to the other side... but then again, due to a 5 second memory, the fish probably forgets what happened before it even finds any of its friends.

i also have tomorrow off, but i haven't decided yet what exactly i want to do... laundry will have to be one thing.
have i told y'all my anger with laundry here?
so it costs money to do laundry. $1.50 for a load of wash, and .25 for every 10 minutes in the drier. ridiculous. so i air dry all my clothes.
yup.
well, hooroo for now.

june snow

2008-06-08T23:12:00.002-04:00

nothing like a hard days work in the rain and mud. we are going to be finishing the rope course on tuesday... i'll put a pic of the final project then... but to keep you filled in on the progress, this is what i was in charge of doing: setting 19 anchors... putting up a mess load of cables (using all sorts of bolts and tools that have become a newly acquired ability of mine), and swageing. this swageing machine creates about 13 tons of pressure... a machine you want to know how to use correctly... lots of fun though.

as for this next picture...that's right... i woke up to a blanket of snow this morning, looking a bit like this picture... it all melted away within a couple of hours, but then it started snowing again... with more snow in the forecast.
now, i took a whole lot of heat (no pun intended) for going to michigan because it was "so cold" in the winter. so why didn't anyone bug me about going to colorado, where it snows in the summer?
thats about it for now.
tootles

manual labor

2008-06-04T21:58:00.002-04:00

8 hours of hard core manual labor... nothing but hard work, muscle, and more hard work.
i showed up to the ropes course this morning at 8am because that was where i was scheduled to start for the day. nobody showed up, so i called my supervisor to see what was going on... turns out, i was being put on another project. i was going to be working with a small group lead by tom lahey (this guy is huge here... the ropes guru, apparently). this group was going to be building up a low ropes course from the ground up... actually, for most of today, we started below ground. now, by ropes course, i mean something huge... tall wooden poles, thick cables, and the whole shabang. in short, today required us to be drilling, hammering, cutting, digging, measuring, lifting, shoveling, and tamping. this last thing called tamping is something i'll explain in a second. but yes, this is a huge deal, and its going to be a sweet course that'll be here for at least the next 30 years.
so today was day one of construction. when we arrived, we had nothing but the raw materials... nothing was dug out, nothing was already assembled... we even had to load up a couple or rolls of cable that weighed 300 pounds each... definitely required a team effort for that. once the plan was set, we were split up into two crews for a while, and i was crew manager of one of the groups (i'm not gonna lie, i was pretty stoked about that).
one of the things i also got to do was oversee the digging done by this sweet machine. this machine and i were good buds by the end of our time together... i directed and measured 19 holes to be dug... varying from 4 feet to 7 feet deep. so this guy working the machine would dig, i'd measure, and then depending on the measurement, the guy would either dig more or move on. i was pretty impressed with this guy's skills on this machine... crazy accurate.

after all the holes were dug, we had to put the appropriate wooden poles in each one. first came eight 12-foot poles, over a foot in diameter. once we got the pole in the hole, we had to put the dirt (which is actually super tough clay) and dry cement into the hole, while tamping at the same time. again, i'll come back to tamping in a second. so the smaller poles weren't so bad... the holes were about 4 feet deep 7 feet long, and 2 fee wide.

it was when the 40-foot poles were put in that the holes seemed endless.
for the 40 foot poles, this crane came in to lift the poles and hold them vertical so that we could put them in their proper place. how much does a 40-foot wooden pole weigh? over 1000 pounds... yes, one thousand. so these poles were put in holes that were 7 feet deep, 7 feet long, and 2 feet wide... 98 cubic feet... that's massive. so once the poles were in place, we'd begin that filling process i just explained.
now for the tamping. tamping is the method of packing in the dirt/clay and dry cement back in the hole, layer by layer. doesn't sound too bad? well, our tools for tamping were these metal poles with a little ball at one end (smaller than a tennis ball)--the poles were about 8 feet long, and weighed about 30 pounds (you can see people holding these long skinny poles in the second picture... those were our tamping tools). i guess you won't be able to appreciate how difficult tamping is until you've given it a shot for yourself... i'll try to give you an analogy as to what tamping is like.
imagine having a cup of flour. however, you filled that cup up with a layer of flour at a time... and each layer, you used a sewing needle to pack it down. now, turn that cup into a huge hole in the ground, turn the flour into clay and cement, and make that needle about 8 feet longer and 30 pounds heavier... same concept. and let me tell you--the most exhausting thing ever. i mean, tamping in almost 100 cubic feet of clay and dry cement? multiple times (12 times today)?! i am pretty sure my arms are just about useless right now. actually, my entire body aches already... i don't think i've ever worked this hard...i mean, this is hard core construction stuff. you should have seen me... dirt all over my face, dirt and dry cement all over my clothes, sweet construction gloves, sunglasses... i looked pretty dang hard core when the day was done... i wish i had a picture of that.
it's surprisingly rewarding though. time flies, and the whole time you are just using so much of yourself to put this stuff together... and in a few days, it's going to be done, and there will be this sweet ropes course that you helped build. it's a highly fulfilling project, and totally worth all the work and energy needed. i've got two or three more days, and then this project should be done. i'll keep adding pictures so you can see the progress.
i'm tired... time for me to go.
wait, one last sentence...
i led an open archery session, and only one kid showed up... and it was a kid, about 15 years old, wearing a cape.
end of story.

bat cave

2008-06-02T19:43:00.005-04:00

it didn't occur to me until today that the company i work for has a theme song... everybody put your arms up... " Y M C A"
that's right.
so the ymca is big on this thing called character. so big, that they even have this stuff written on the walls of the little bouldering room i use every other night.
however, the ymca doesn't seem to care much for extinct animals--for example, the velociraptor. this is at the archery range (which i was trained for today, but likely won't get to run, unless i change a few things up like i hope to). this is a dino target, and it's amazing. i got it's head three times, a chest shot, and an arm shot. my archery skills are getting pretty good.
i also have been working on telephone lines... so i just hop on up these telephone poles, do a little bit of wiring, and then head on back down.
i lie.
that's the pole for the zip line... but i am going up that without a rope... i am instead using these things called lobster claws. i'm not going to bother to explain. but i zipped down the zip line yesterday, and worked it today. it's pretty cool.

and now for a quick tour of what my roomie has dubbed, "the bat cave"

smooth start in a rocky place

2008-05-30T19:38:00.003-04:00

5:45 am... woke up, grabbed my stuff, and went to LAX... i wasn't really awake, so not too much detail there.
plane ran a bit late, but still managed to arrive on time. now, with this plane, looks were most definitely deceiving. i flew frontier, and when i got in the plane, i was pretty impressed. three seats on each side, pretty good amount of room, and tv screens in every seat. i immediately to a liking to frontier airlines...
until the pilot started to move the plane.
you know how when you take off, your just sitting on the runway, then the jets just start and the plane begins to drive down the runway super fast before it pulls up and lifts off (my favorite part)? well, why we were still on ground and going very very fast, the pilot had trouble keeping the plane straight. he swerved 4 times.... 4 times! i'm telling ya, not a good first impression. i slept on and off during the flight, but didn't really do much else. then comes time for landing. i think it's pretty typical for a bumpy landing into denver, but this landing was a whole other extreme... worst landing i ever experienced... i was gonna either pass out, or throw up, or both. you know how sometimes the plane will hit a pocket and drop a little bit, causing that weightless sensation and kind of making your stomach drop? well, on our landing the following happened three times: the plane would drop for 10 seconds straight, causing that feeling i just described, only magnified a couple of times and prolonged for 10 seconds. then to compensate, the pilot would pull up for about 5 seconds, putting my stomach, which made it's way to my throat during the drop, back in it's normal place and then some. oh, and with about 5 minutes left to do in the landing, all of the sudden you hear a click. i look up to see that my overhead bin had opened on its own amidst all the jostling. all i could do was hope that my bag wasn't going to fall on me and knock me out... actually, looking back on it, i think not being conscious for the landing would have been preferable.
so that was my flying experience for today. the denver airport is sweet... i like it a lot.
then was time for the drive to snow mountain ranch (about an hour and a half away) with the 'home james shuttle'... a 12 passenger van with 5 of us in it--one from idaho, one from oregon, one from ohio, one from illinois, and me... one from california. one of my favorite sights was when we first drove out of the airport... about ten minutes out. you look out and you can see downtown denver--a cluster of sky-scrapers and tall buildings. but the bigger picture is what made me chuckle.
think back to the cartoon tom and jerry for a bit. every once in a while, there were scenes with the little puppy and his big bulldog father. more than once, tom was found in the following predicament. here's a very general recap: jerry would hide by the puppy, and tom, knowing jerry is under the puppy, would get that sly look on his face, knowing that it would be no problem taking care of this puppy and getting jerry. however, now comes the infamous shot... while tom is ready to pounce and is looking down at the puppy, the puppy, jerry, and the audience see the big massive bulldog father standing behind tom. tom may think he's all big, but dude, he doesn't know what's behind him. and then when he does turn around, his face is at belly-level on the huge bulldog, letting tom know that he is in for a pounding.
so, back to denver. cities filled with skyscrapers definitely stick out, dwarfing all other houses and buildings. but, dude, in denver, behind this "sky scraping" landscape stand the rocky mountains... massive, beautiful, and WAY bigger than that little cluster of cement. it was almost ironic... here, we humans build modern marvels that reach "high into the sky," but just behind it God has built up this massive mountain range that could crush the city (if mountains had fists, of course). so, no one tell downtown denver what's behind it, cause if it turns around and sees those mountains, it will know it will find itself staring that the belly of the rocky mountains.
so out of the van, only i was headed to SMR... and luckily, my stop was first. for those of you who know me, my biggest fear is having to go to the bathroom while being a passenger in a car with multiple people. i thought i would be fine, but about an hour in, i had to go. i decided that i could make it and braced myself for the ride... but, then came the switch backs. why would switchbacks be bad? well, lets see: when the driver takes the hair-pin turns at 20 mph, there's this law of physics that comes into play-- centripetal force... you know, the ol' water in the pale, swing it super fast and nothing falls out. so, when you apply that to a full bladder, it's not fun. plus, you know how once you see the bathroom you have to go even worse? well, driving in the wilderness might as well have been driving through a city of outhouses cause thanks to wilderness orientation, i have no problem using the b.i.f.f.... bathroom in forest floor. needless to say, i made it to SMR and through a half hour tour/check-in without having an accident. ya, i know, i'm a big kid now. yay
so.
now for some good news, and then for some bad news... i'll just mesh it all in at once. well, i know that i won't have any issues with my roommates... oh, that may be because i don't have any. instead of being placed in blue ridge (where i requested and would have had roommates), i was put in "the bays." what are the bays, you ask? well, in the bays, everyone has their own room. nice, yes i think it is. however-- the rooms are under the basketball courts and roller rink. oh, and ya, they don't have any windows. i know, it's kind of stupid, but i have found the light in this dark situation--no really, if you turn off the light and close the door... you are literally in a box with absolutely no light... that's dark. anyway, here's the good side--one, i won't be in my room very much cause i am going to be working/exploring a lot. second, it makes me spend more time in the wonderful outside. for instance, i've been here half a day, and i've only spent about 5 minutes in my room. i dropped my stuff off, slightly unpacked, then packed up my backpack, slipped on my converses, and headed out for a little hike... i was set on finding "my spot." so, 20 minutes at a leisurely place brought me to my spot. it's pretty sweet. then i went to eat after i got back, and now i am sitting outside on my laptop... i think this will all work out okay.
now i know that was a MASSIVE post, but i had to... my blog has been lacking lately, and i finally have new stuff to write about, so, ya, you get a super long post.
but, for being so good and making it to the end, i am rewarding you with pictures. only three, because the internet is super slow, but they should sum it up kinda nice.
1. rocky mountains here at SMR... sweet, i know. 2. so there's this pine beetle thing, and it's killing all the trees... super brown, skinny, dead trees, most with the fate of this one. 3. the view from my spot... at least in one direction.
so there you have it.
tootles for now.

two things

2008-05-27T19:08:00.002-04:00

first: i don't know why i haven't mentioned this before, but i'm finally remembering. while at calvin, my roomie and i happened upon the ellen degeneres show because it was on at 10 every morning, and so we'd watch it for about 20 minutes before we had to leave for our 10:30 class. anyway, so i've been watching it back here in california, and i just can't get over how good this show is... it's hilarious, informative, and she always gives away so much... she has games on the show all the time for audience members to compete in... and she always ends up giving the prize to both the winner and loser... awesome. so, if you happen to be watching daytime talk shows, i recommend watching ellen at 4pm pst.
second: after much stress and frustration with registering for classes for next semester, i think i've finally got things figured out. on the way to doing so, i've had to chose a minor... and i am kind of excited about it. i wanted to do something completely unrelated to pe (most pe majors minor in health), so i looked at many different things until i came upon my final choice that i am looking forward to... i am officially a journalism minor. cool? i think so. so i am registered for a journalism class next semester. i'll be sure to keep y'all in on the happenings with that.

'tis all.

surf surf surf

2008-05-26T14:35:00.004-04:00

well, jenny and i went to bolsa chica beach yesterday to give a shot at surfing... it was our second time for both of us. the waves really weren't there, but we had fun paddling around and trying to ride a few in. i got up on one, so i was pretty excited. so...here are some pics. enjoy.

a week has passed

2008-05-20T12:54:00.003-04:00

sorry it's been a while since i've posted... so much has gone on, at the same time so little has been going on. in the past week, i've finished my first year of college, drove to greenville, OH, and flown back to bellflower, CA. exams finished well, and it was really hard to move out of our room, but we made it. i went to greenville, OH (where my roommate is from) and stayed with her for a couple of nights. i'm keeping my car and most of my stuff at her place because it doesn't really make sense to be driving back and forth from michigan to california. greenville is pretty cool... i mean, you know me, i love open country, and green.

so this is my roomie's place... isn't it amazing! so much land, and their house is beautiful (they designed/built it). the weather was amazing while i was out there.

we even took the convertible out... this is what the roads look like... isn't it beautiful? very different from bellflower.

oh, and this is just on the way to ohio.... i like how the highway was surrounded by green trees.

so that's about it. i've just been hanging around out here. i went to manhattan beach yesterday, so that was fun.
i'll try to keep y'all posted on what's going on, but as of right now, there's not much to let you in on.
ta-ta

blue moon

2008-05-13T20:18:00.002-04:00

i am convinced that if you keep your eyes open long enough, life will show you something. i am also convinced that if you open your mind enough, the things life shows you will teach you something.
today's a great example of that.
with two exams tomorrow, i needed to really get down and study hard core. i was being drawn off campus, so i headed down to gaslight village and made myself a study spot in starbucks. i actually ended up staying there for four hours. i know--intense. after i had enough studying, i walked down to the lake. i sat down on a bench and, well, i just sat there. funny how life can be very literary... cause i quickly realized that i had walked myself into a full-circle ending (an impressive touch in books, but very difficult to pull off). so what was my sitting at reeds lake after studying in starbucks a reference to? let me take you back to july 3, 2007... a little over 10 months ago... and this is a direct quote without edits, mind you:

afterward, i went to gaslight village, got some starbucks and a treat and then walked down to reeds lake and just sat there. you know what, i liked what i saw... and you know what i saw? a lot of people go there and just sit there... even alone. i loved the fact that i didn't feel akward at all just sitting there, watching the sailboats on reeds lake, and relaxing in the beautiful weather. i think i have found my new favorite spot.

what was july 3rd? that was my first day on my own in michigan. it honestly didn't click until i found myself sitting in the very same bench. so once i realized the coincidence, i let my mind do its thing and run off on some pensive and profound journey towards a conclusion that wasn't reached until i saw a little girl twirl--and then throw up.
yes, gross. let me explain, and then i'll come back to the conclusion.
there is this ice cream place called jersey junction... great ice cream, lots of fun choices. there is this one ice cream called "blue moon," and it's, well, very blue... like almost neon blue. as i was sitting on the bench, i saw this little girl with blue all over her mouth twirling very quickly. a few steps away were her parents each holding an ice cream cone. it was this little fact that led me to consider that this girl had just had herself a nice scoop of blue moon ice cream. however, it wasn't until i saw the girl suddenly stop twirling, put her hands on her stomach, and proceed to throw up blue moon that i was positive she had eaten a scoop of blue moon. gross? very much so. but don't worry... she seemed to be okay... after realizing what happened, the girl walked a couple of paces away from her mess and proceeded to twirl more. she barely got two full revolutions in, though, before her parents scooped her up.
before this blue fiasco took place, i had been sitting in the bench looking out at reeds lake. it was a bit windy, and the lake was super choppy. i began to compare the two times i found myself there. being the end of the year, and mere days away from leaving, i found it not only appropriate but necessary to take a moment to sum up and process what has just happened--i've completed a year of college (well, almost... two more exams tomorrow, and then that's it).
here's how i sorted things out. in july, i was sitting on that bench without a clue as to what the heck i was doing. as i sat there and took in this new place, i had no clue what was in store for me. i sat on that bench without any ties to michigan... no memories, no longings, no friends, no family... although i didn't admit it back then, i was scared out of my mind. so much so that thoughts of going back to california crossed my mind. i sat there, and i felt so young and not so sure of who i was... i was confused, and my mind was racing a mile a minute. as i sat there, i was a self contained person... i was just kind of there, but still existing very much as my own person that hadn't mixed at all with the surroundings... it was just me in this new place.
today, i sat on that bench, wearing a calvin college t-shirt, and i had my backpack next to me. the sight of reeds lake was not a new sight but a familiar comforting sight. although i sat on the bench alone, i felt far from it. i sat there knowing that i'd go back to campus and see and hang out with my friends... some of which feel like my family out here. i sat there, looked behind me to a spot where a bunch of us had come one night to lay out and look at the stars. i could sit there and think of tons of memories from this past year. no longer was the line between me and my surroundings (michigan, grand rap, calvin) a harsh and distinct one... in fact, i'm so assimilated to this place that i don't think there is a line any more. to use an analogy, i'd say that in july, i was a drop of oil in a glass of water... no mixing whatsoever. now, feel more like a scoop of kool-aid stirred in to a glass of water... you try sorting the kool-aid from water after mixing it... let me know how that goes. so, i sat there, and i realized, my heart is here. looking around, i thought, this is where i want to be--it all feels so right.
that's when the blue-mouthed twirling girl caught my eye, and that's when it clicked--never eat blue moon ice cream and then twirl. well, what else did you think i was going to come up with? i'm sorry, did you expect some great connection? did i build it up too much? i'm sorry.
no, but when i realized that i was excited to go back to calvin and tell my friends the story, it was clear that had i seen this event on july 3rd, i wouldn't have known what to do with it.
then i got in the car, and no joke, the mamas and the papas came on singing, "for every season, turn, turn, turn." ironic because of the "turning" in reference to the twirling, but also because the summer season is coming up, and i'm gonna be doing a bit of turning myself. again, you pay attention enough, and life will teach you something. i listened to the song intently, almost taking it as advice, telling myself i am going to have to realize the changing and learn to go with it.
but then again, if i took everything that happened as a sign or as a way of life telling me to do something, i would have had to make some very major lifestyle changes after the mamas and the papas got done turning, because "get down tonight" was the song that followed. i don't plan on doing little dances and etc anytime soon.

ok, that was long, but there ya go. that's it in a nutshell. hope this wasn't too long, but it's gonna have to last you until thursday night, because the next two days are going to be quite busy.

'tis all from michigan...

for now, of course.