I love how such crappy situations bring forth some of the most beautiful memories... if you think about it, it's all the crap that helps us grow in ourselves, with God, and with each other.
Kind of how pretty flowers spring up from manure--horse crap--crap.
Looking at "the good and the bad" as mutually exclusive events is one way to see life... things are either good or bad... the low lows make the high highs higher.
I think that we can all agree that nothing in life is black and white like this way of thinking. I don't think the either/or perspective suffices when it comes to the beautiful and the ugly times we face in life.
There are times where the situation may be crappy, but in spite of that, there are glimpses of beauty to be discovered. They are those times that bring hope and make all the pain worth it, even if for just a brief moment.
Think back to the flower for a second.
It's a pretty flower--all big and pink... kind of like a gerber daisy.
The flower is indeed beautiful, but it is still essentially surrounded and stuck in manure... aka, crap. It's not like the flower's presence magically turns the manure into that chocolate pudding-and-crushed oreos mix that you used to get for dessert as a kid. No, it's still just a bunch of smelly dirt.
The dirt doesn't change. Instead, we just might begin to see something that we didn't see before. There is a little flower sprouting up, distinguishing itself as something beautiful.
Life is all about growing flowers amidst all the crap life throws at you.
It's about finding those flowers and appreciating their beauty because of what they are and where they are coming from. And while one flower is all we need to get started and give us something to hold on to in the tough times, it would be wrong to stop there. Keep growing flowers, keep finding all the beauty there is in life, and grow a beautiful garden filled with the blessings gained in spite of the tough times--all those good memories, good feelings, and good people that could easily be looked past if not deliberately searched for.
I love it when people find beauty in the midst of despair.
And I've discovered that a particular characteristic has developed and become more prominent in me over the past year or so:
Empathy.
When someone near and dear to me hurts, I hurt.
When they rejoice, I rejoice.
I want nothing more than for them to see the bit of light among the thick darkness, the beautiful in spite of the ugly, the break in the chaos lasting just long enough to take a breath.
And to me, empathy isn't just experiencing this with them--it is also helping them find that light, the beautiful, a moment to breathe.
From the perspective of the one inside all this mess, the one thing that can bring hope in a seemingly hopeless situation seems non-existent. Finding hope can feel like finding a needle in a hay stack--frustrating, disheartening, overwhelming, down right torture; all to the point of near surrender.
But you know what?
That needle is in the haystack, is it not?
The needle does exist... the hope does exist.
And sometimes we just need someone to dive into the haystack with us, someone to dive into the chaos with us.
Not only can they help to find the hope and beauty, but they can also share in the pain, keep you company, cheer you on...
So to me, empathy is jumping into a haystack for someone. It's joining in the chaos and helping them find the beauty when times seem like nothing but crap. And even better, it's rejoicing when they have seen a bit of that light.
and while i'm already talking about hay, i should let y'all in on a recent event... this past monday was our dorm hay ride/sqaure dance mixer at post family farms. i'm too sleepy to write it all out, so i will just copy and paste the article i wrote on it for Chimes:
A hayride gone haywire left nearly 30 Noordewier VanderWerp residents soaked and on the verge of hypothermia when their trailer tipped and dumped them into a pond on Monday night.
Cameras, cell phones, shoes, purses, ipods, and clothes were on the list of lost or damaged items resulting from the unexpected plunge into the pond, but luckily no one suffered any serious injury, according to NVW’s dorm president, Savannah Gruesbeck.
The hayride took place at Post Family Farms on a night that Noordewier resident Carolyn Affholter described as “cold—freezing!” In fact, a student had noted the temperature displayed on a bank sign to be 34 degrees Fahrenheit when driving to the farm.
A tractor pulled two trailers filled with hay and passengers around the property; Lindsey Jetter, a Noordewier resident, recalled that “it wasn’t smooth, but that’s what you expect in a hayride—a couple of bumps here and there.”
While many of the students in the rear trailer—the one that tipped—described the event as happening in “slow motion” and “surreal,” VanderWerp resident Alex Verseput described what happened from his perspective in the front trailer.
As the driver drove too close to the edge of the pond, the rear trailer began to tip to the right and kept tipping until it was standing on its side, dumping all of its passengers, according to Verseput. He had yelled to the driver to stop because the driver was unaware of what had happened.
“I was shocked, and the screams scared me,” said Verseput. Affholter was among the few passengers who were completely submerged in the freezing, murky water; not only did she get soaked, but she also found her cell phone broken due to water damage.
The students showed a mixed reaction when commenting on the handling of the situation by the farm staff. While most students, preferring not to be named, were disappointed with the slow response of the driver, others gave credit to the rest of the staff in this unexpected crisis.
Affholter explained that, once the trailer was finally flipped back over and returned to the farm, the students were directed to the farm kitchen where staff brought blankets and hot cocoa to the students as they exchanged clothes and told their version of the story.
A common opinion voiced was that of the gratitude toward fellow residents on the ride. Jetter said she was impressed by the initiative of fellow residents reacting quickly and with concern for the well-being of those cold and drenched, offering up any dry clothes they had.
Calvin College, NVW Resident Director Aaron Einfeld, and dorm president Gruesbeck are working on getting a list of lost and damaged items. While they can’t promise anything, they are working with the staff of Post Family Farms to possibly provide reimbursement for lost and damaged property, according to Gruesbeck. She also commented on the great cooperation that the farm is showing in this situation.
Friday, October 31
Sunday, October 26
And I thought gravitational pull made the world go round...
Every single one of our computers shut off. I was in journalism, and ten minutes after class started, I found myself watching every single computer, one after the other, succumb to the black-screen plague.
Our entire campus and part of Grand Rapids had lost power.
Why?
A squirrel thought the main electricity/power source would be the prime spot for storing his acorns for the winter--after all, it didn't look like any other squirrels seemed to be using it.
High voltage + squirrel = well, in the words of Quiznos, mmm, toasty.
Events like this are so fun for me. I love things that mix it up a bit... and this power outage mixed the day up better than martha stewart could mix up a batch of cookie batter.
Even more fun than the actual event is seeing how people react to it.
Do you realize that all it takes to mak the US shutdown is a squirrel in a power box? well, figuratively speaking, of course, cause that would be one big squirrel and one big power box if all of america were plugged into it... and naturally, Hawai'i would have to be connected wirelessly.
So the power went out... causing the internet to go out... leaving thousands of college students sitting on the floor of their dark dorm room, rocking back and forth in the fetal position because their entire life has been suspended in the amount of time it takes a squirrel to short out a power box--which i hear isn't much time at all.
Classes got cancelled because teachers couldn't remember how to teach like they did, say, oh, seven years ago, before they used power point to flash information in front of our eyes at high speeds. No electricity? No power point, and no class.
Students flocked back to their rooms excited for classes to be cancelled. And just as they were about to jump on the computer and check their email or facebook...
oh ya, internet is out.
well, i can just pass some time watching a bit of TV... wait, TVs need electricity. and by the time you've already thought of five other electronically dependent activities that you can't do, it dawns on you the crisis you are in.
That brings us to the college students in the fetal position rocking back and forth on the floor of their lightless dorm room.
And that's where I found myself... minus the fetal position and floor. Instead, i sat on the futon with absolutely no idea of what to do with my time.
There was this time, you know, like a hundred years ago... ya, it reminded me of that.
With cell phones being the only working technology, I found myself calling people and leaving messages for entertainment.
On my way to speech class i walked over the Belt Line on Calvin Crossing... the traffic light on the belt line was out... not blinking like it was out of order... completely out, lacking any luminary properties... leaving cars parked bumper to bumper further than i could see.
Yes, I still had class because all we had to do was speak, and last time i checked, we don't really require electricity to do that.
The power did eventually turn back on after about three hours.
But I must say that I got a kick out of watching all of Calvin College stop dead in its tracks because of a squirrels capability to conduct electricity.
Our entire campus and part of Grand Rapids had lost power.
Why?
A squirrel thought the main electricity/power source would be the prime spot for storing his acorns for the winter--after all, it didn't look like any other squirrels seemed to be using it.
High voltage + squirrel = well, in the words of Quiznos, mmm, toasty.
Events like this are so fun for me. I love things that mix it up a bit... and this power outage mixed the day up better than martha stewart could mix up a batch of cookie batter.
Even more fun than the actual event is seeing how people react to it.
Do you realize that all it takes to mak the US shutdown is a squirrel in a power box? well, figuratively speaking, of course, cause that would be one big squirrel and one big power box if all of america were plugged into it... and naturally, Hawai'i would have to be connected wirelessly.
So the power went out... causing the internet to go out... leaving thousands of college students sitting on the floor of their dark dorm room, rocking back and forth in the fetal position because their entire life has been suspended in the amount of time it takes a squirrel to short out a power box--which i hear isn't much time at all.
Classes got cancelled because teachers couldn't remember how to teach like they did, say, oh, seven years ago, before they used power point to flash information in front of our eyes at high speeds. No electricity? No power point, and no class.
Students flocked back to their rooms excited for classes to be cancelled. And just as they were about to jump on the computer and check their email or facebook...
oh ya, internet is out.
well, i can just pass some time watching a bit of TV... wait, TVs need electricity. and by the time you've already thought of five other electronically dependent activities that you can't do, it dawns on you the crisis you are in.
That brings us to the college students in the fetal position rocking back and forth on the floor of their lightless dorm room.
And that's where I found myself... minus the fetal position and floor. Instead, i sat on the futon with absolutely no idea of what to do with my time.
There was this time, you know, like a hundred years ago... ya, it reminded me of that.
With cell phones being the only working technology, I found myself calling people and leaving messages for entertainment.
On my way to speech class i walked over the Belt Line on Calvin Crossing... the traffic light on the belt line was out... not blinking like it was out of order... completely out, lacking any luminary properties... leaving cars parked bumper to bumper further than i could see.
Yes, I still had class because all we had to do was speak, and last time i checked, we don't really require electricity to do that.
The power did eventually turn back on after about three hours.
But I must say that I got a kick out of watching all of Calvin College stop dead in its tracks because of a squirrels capability to conduct electricity.
Thursday, October 23
FOR RENT: part two in the "search for a dwelling place" series
I was standing outside the office door at the Lakewood Hills Apartments with my roommate when i heard the disheartening news.
With the door closed and no eyepatched senior citizen there to answer the door, i had to call the phone number scrawled on the chalkboard attached to the door. That's when I learned of the crushing figures.
After I got off the phone with the manager, I pouted, on the verge of a temper tantrum, and gave my roomie the pricey news.
$1875. A month. For a 2 bedroom apartment.
AKA. no college students allowed.
Resisting the urge to kick the building or draw a pirate saying "come back on monday" on the chalkboard, we sulked back to my car. The pit-stop at Lakewood Hills was our 3rd stop of the day... the first being at Perkins (where my roomie's car had spent the night due to a busted clutch). we went in and ate some delicious pumpking pie as we waited for the tow truck.
The next stop was the dealership, and then we were on our way to Lakewood Hills--however, we took a scenic route. We took Reeds Lake Drive all the way around the lake... the trees (and houses) were absolutely amazing. To label these leaves just green, orange, yellow, and red would be like calling Half Dome just a big rock--that is quite the understatement.
Fall is clearly here. The leaves have begun their gravity-induced adventure from tree branch to the ground, joining the other leaves that have already completed their pilgrimage. This is definitely my favorite time of the year.
Just the other day I was walking back from class when i saw a little girl, about four years old, playing in the leaves. She'd grab an armful of leaves and then run around, leaving a trail of leaves falling behind her. She finally resolved to do what is practically instinctive in a child at this time of the year: she scooped up as many leaves as her little arms could hold and then threw them in the air. This joyous act had required so much effort and enthusiasm that, as the leaves went up, she fell down on her butt. The airborn leaves made their trip to the ground for a second time, this time covering the girl.
I love it.
Ok, back to the main story.
With the numbers $1875 still haunting us, we ended up on a neighborhood tour, scanning lawns for the very signs our mission called for: "FOR RENT." The going was slow at first... we saw a lot of lawns decorated with "for sale" signs and the politically charged "McCain Palin" and "Obama" signs.
For the record, when I have a front lawn, it will have a pink flamingo and a gnome on it. And around election time, I will stick a sign that says... well, i don't know what it will say, but i've got four years to think of something clever.
After a bit of meandering, we finally found one... actually, three, all on the same street. This was exciting. We took down all three phone numbers so that we could call for some more information. My roommate made the first call. Oddly enough, the owner happened to be at the house working on it and said that we could stop by and check it out.
This cute little house (with a porch on the front of it) was empty but smelled of fresh paint. The wooden floors sent the echoes of hour steps throughout the room, but i did take note that these floors were perfect for sock-skating.
My favorite part was the kitchen... black and white checkered floors and red walls. So much fun.
Since our need for a place to rent isn't until May, there wasn't much we could do, but the owner was very nice and encouraged us to keep checking in with him.
Since then, more ideas have come up and we are starting to go back more in the direction of apartments again.
But those details will come in part 3.
Soon. I promise.
With the door closed and no eyepatched senior citizen there to answer the door, i had to call the phone number scrawled on the chalkboard attached to the door. That's when I learned of the crushing figures.
After I got off the phone with the manager, I pouted, on the verge of a temper tantrum, and gave my roomie the pricey news.
$1875. A month. For a 2 bedroom apartment.
AKA. no college students allowed.
Resisting the urge to kick the building or draw a pirate saying "come back on monday" on the chalkboard, we sulked back to my car. The pit-stop at Lakewood Hills was our 3rd stop of the day... the first being at Perkins (where my roomie's car had spent the night due to a busted clutch). we went in and ate some delicious pumpking pie as we waited for the tow truck.
The next stop was the dealership, and then we were on our way to Lakewood Hills--however, we took a scenic route. We took Reeds Lake Drive all the way around the lake... the trees (and houses) were absolutely amazing. To label these leaves just green, orange, yellow, and red would be like calling Half Dome just a big rock--that is quite the understatement.
Fall is clearly here. The leaves have begun their gravity-induced adventure from tree branch to the ground, joining the other leaves that have already completed their pilgrimage. This is definitely my favorite time of the year.
Just the other day I was walking back from class when i saw a little girl, about four years old, playing in the leaves. She'd grab an armful of leaves and then run around, leaving a trail of leaves falling behind her. She finally resolved to do what is practically instinctive in a child at this time of the year: she scooped up as many leaves as her little arms could hold and then threw them in the air. This joyous act had required so much effort and enthusiasm that, as the leaves went up, she fell down on her butt. The airborn leaves made their trip to the ground for a second time, this time covering the girl.
I love it.
Ok, back to the main story.
With the numbers $1875 still haunting us, we ended up on a neighborhood tour, scanning lawns for the very signs our mission called for: "FOR RENT." The going was slow at first... we saw a lot of lawns decorated with "for sale" signs and the politically charged "McCain Palin" and "Obama" signs.
For the record, when I have a front lawn, it will have a pink flamingo and a gnome on it. And around election time, I will stick a sign that says... well, i don't know what it will say, but i've got four years to think of something clever.
After a bit of meandering, we finally found one... actually, three, all on the same street. This was exciting. We took down all three phone numbers so that we could call for some more information. My roommate made the first call. Oddly enough, the owner happened to be at the house working on it and said that we could stop by and check it out.
This cute little house (with a porch on the front of it) was empty but smelled of fresh paint. The wooden floors sent the echoes of hour steps throughout the room, but i did take note that these floors were perfect for sock-skating.
My favorite part was the kitchen... black and white checkered floors and red walls. So much fun.
Since our need for a place to rent isn't until May, there wasn't much we could do, but the owner was very nice and encouraged us to keep checking in with him.
Since then, more ideas have come up and we are starting to go back more in the direction of apartments again.
But those details will come in part 3.
Soon. I promise.
Wednesday, October 22
welcome back
well, we're back here... and to be honest, i've kind of missed it.
so i am glad to be back, and this time with a few new features.
since i really liked having a photo gallery to mass upload pictures to, i have created a website through smugmug that will have all my pictures. i will still put pictures up on here in posts, but i always feel so limited in how many i put up (because i can only do three at a time). so, a complete collection of photos will be available at that site.
the link to my photo gallery is:
http://stav.smugmug.com/web%20posts
you don't need a username or anything to view it, and it is a site i share with my dad... so you can always browse through his pics too.
ok.
so, yes.
and i hope moving back here will increase the number of comments y'all leave... i kind of miss them, and i think livejournal decreased them exponentially.
we'll see.
enjoy, and please tell me what y'all think.
so i am glad to be back, and this time with a few new features.
since i really liked having a photo gallery to mass upload pictures to, i have created a website through smugmug that will have all my pictures. i will still put pictures up on here in posts, but i always feel so limited in how many i put up (because i can only do three at a time). so, a complete collection of photos will be available at that site.
the link to my photo gallery is:
http://stav.smugmug.com/web%20posts
you don't need a username or anything to view it, and it is a site i share with my dad... so you can always browse through his pics too.
ok.
so, yes.
and i hope moving back here will increase the number of comments y'all leave... i kind of miss them, and i think livejournal decreased them exponentially.
we'll see.
enjoy, and please tell me what y'all think.
Thursday, August 21
input
after three or so years, i may or may not be switching from blogger to a new blogging host called livejournal.
it's simpler, but at the same time it has a few features that blogger lacks that i think would come in handy.
now, i won't be deleting this blog or anything (of course--i have years worth of stuff on here!). but, i would like your input on whether or not y'all like livejournal. anyone can comment (you don't need an account) and, ya. so tell me what y'all think.
stina44.livejournal.com
thanks!
and sorry about the wierdness, i will fix it soon.
it's simpler, but at the same time it has a few features that blogger lacks that i think would come in handy.
now, i won't be deleting this blog or anything (of course--i have years worth of stuff on here!). but, i would like your input on whether or not y'all like livejournal. anyone can comment (you don't need an account) and, ya. so tell me what y'all think.
stina44.livejournal.com
thanks!
and sorry about the wierdness, i will fix it soon.
Tuesday, August 12
all 6 at once
the fun thing about being older and all of us living in different places? family get-togethers are a lot more fun. so, i haven't posted this yet because it was a surprise for steven, but i am back in CA til the end of august. i came back early so i could see my brother steven, who flew in from japan for a week with his (recently announced) fiance. fun stuff.
so i got to see all three of my brothers at once this weekend, and probably will get to a few more times this week. i don't think the 4 of us have been together in a long time... i definitely can't think of the last time... it has to have been 2 or 3 years. so it's been a blast seeing them.
anyhow, enjoy the pics, and i'll make sure to update soon.
this pic of the four of us... i looked at it, and i just thought... wow, we look old. i mean, compared to 15 years ago (like this pic i found), we're big! it didn't really hit me until i saw that pic of us we took this weekend.
Sunday, August 3
sweet pic
so my dad took this really sweet pic while he and my mom were here last weekend... he photoshopped it, and i think it looks super cool. i just had to share it.
we've had an awesome thunderstorm all day today... TONS of lightning, massive downpours, and soul shaking thunder. wonderful stuff.
Saturday, August 2
_
dear anonymous-
pardon my lack of posting. you see, i spend about 7 hours a day in my room... the same number of hours i spend sleeping. the other 17 hours are spent out and about on the zip-line, leading hikes, leading campfires, and partaking in meals. i confess there is also the occasional nap.
so, if you (whoever you are) would like a personal update, go ahead and call me.
and know that this post is all in good fun... and it was directed toward an anonymous comment left in response to my lack of posting. i found it funny and as something that i could write a quick post about.
anyhow
but honestly, i do apologize for the lack of posting. i really miss spending time sitting down and writing stuff out, so i am trying really hard to get back to it.
my little story for today is a bit of a proud one... i received employee of the week for this past week. i'm not gonna lie, i'm a bit stoked.
alrighty, i hope your weekend is going well.
pardon my lack of posting. you see, i spend about 7 hours a day in my room... the same number of hours i spend sleeping. the other 17 hours are spent out and about on the zip-line, leading hikes, leading campfires, and partaking in meals. i confess there is also the occasional nap.
so, if you (whoever you are) would like a personal update, go ahead and call me.
and know that this post is all in good fun... and it was directed toward an anonymous comment left in response to my lack of posting. i found it funny and as something that i could write a quick post about.
anyhow
but honestly, i do apologize for the lack of posting. i really miss spending time sitting down and writing stuff out, so i am trying really hard to get back to it.
my little story for today is a bit of a proud one... i received employee of the week for this past week. i'm not gonna lie, i'm a bit stoked.
alrighty, i hope your weekend is going well.
Thursday, July 31
epic
here are some pics that i would call epic... and the last one is a house built into a boulder... in boulder, co.
Monday, July 28
pink
there comes a time in life where morals are challenged. actually, i am pretty sure there are many times where morals are challenged.
now, i've debated about whether or not I should share this story so publicly. In fact, at one point i was sure that i wouldn't post it on the blog. but last weekend introduced a new dynamic and a happy ending to this life lesson, so ive decided that i'd like to share it.
what i ask for in return for my honesty is that you will read it all the way through. deal? k, good... lets continue.
there is a part of SMR (snow mountain ranch) that has remained hidden to most and left out of my posts this summer. you kind of have to be staff here... staff that live in the bays... in order to know that drinking is a huge part of "the bays culture." until this summer, i've never really been in proximity of people drinking... never went to those cliche parties with red cups... never had friends that got mixed up in that whole deal... never even saw it. after arriving at SMR and gaining a couple of friends, i've found myself submerged into the world of designated driving and hair holding.
yes, i've been offered a drink many times. yes, i've said "no" everytime, and no, they haven't given me a hard time or pressured me. it's nice to know they respect my choice.
but just because the peer pressure is absent doesn't mean that the temptation and opportunities are absent as well. i'm not saying that i've wanted to drink, i'm just saying that saying "no" is a lot harder than i thought it would be... especially when no one is even asking the question. the drinks are just there--it's not a matter of me just saying "yes" or "no." it's a matter of me deciding in my head exactly what i am or am not going to do. this whole thing hit me hardest about two weeks ago.
5 of us girls who live in the bays got together for a "girl's night" in order to say good-bye to the two of them who were leaving. it was good fun--ice cream, chocolate, stories... and then came happy hour.
out came the bottle of razz bacardi and the two litre bottle of lemonade. the question was asked of me once, and only once, and of course, i politely declined. once it was established who was drinking (them) and who wasn't (me), they pulled out the pink nalgene bottle--the goblet of choice for holding the one part razz bacardi and four parts lemonade cocktail (for the first round, at least).
once mixed, the conversation continued and the pink nalgene began to be passed around the circle of five... take a sip, pass it on... take a sip, pass it on... and then me... pass it on. i tried to play that pass off as if that nalgene didn't tempt me any more than a glass of V8 would. the pink nalgene then continued it's familiar course through the next four girls until it would get to me again. pass it on. another circuit, and it was to me again. funny how although the level of the cloudy mixture got lower with every round, but the level of temptation didn't. what was so tempting? here are the thoughts i found myself facing... in reality, a single sip would do absolutely nothing... in reality, no one but the four would know... in reality, nothing would change. and you know what? i stand by that. a single sip would do nothing... but who's to say that it stops at a sip?
anyhow, i left the room that night mentally exhausted... i wasn't sure how i had made it out without having a drink... i was almost positive that my first drink was coming out of that pink nalgene. what kept me from giving in? at one point in the night, i took a step back to look at the story i was finding myself in the middle of. if i drank, the story would be awful... the timing would be wrong, i'd be with all the wrong people, and the story would be filled with guilt and regret. when and if i do drink, i want it to be at the right time (21) and in the right place (with my closest friends... those i'd want to share the memory with). i walked away that night having learned a ton and lost nothing.
but the story doesn't end there. it wasn't until i was in michigan that this whole waiting for the "right time, right place" idea became a solid choice of mine.
michigan's adventure... as i've already said, it was a good time. it was really good, though, because i had a moment where i realized everything was going to work out just fine.
a group of us were sitting outside of shivering timbers waiting for the rest of the group who had gone on another random ride. we were all just sitting/standing around, and my roommate asked if i wanted to split a drink from the vending machine. being thirsty, i agreed. after going through the ordeal of getting the exact change for the machine, my roommate pressed the button for the pink lemonade.
do you see where this is going? well, if you don't, it's okay... you'll see how long it took me.
so we walked back to the group and opened up the bottle of pink lemonade. she took a sip, passed it to me. i took a sip, and as i did, others had asked for a sip as well. so the bottle of pink lemonade made it's way around our little group. just as the bottle was about to come back to me, it hit me. first, that God is hilarious and is the greatest story maker of all. second, that this is how it was supposed to be. i was with all my friends, having a good time. i watched the pink bottle go around, looked at all my friends having a good time, took note of how stress-free i was, and realized how at home i was. the words "this is how it's supposed to be" just kept ringing through my head. when i looked at the pink bottle of pink lemonade, the choice became so easy for me. that moment was exactly what i needed... and i still laugh that it was pink lemonade... i think God knew that i'd get excited about a connection/symbol like that.
anyhow, so since i've been back, the choice has been easier. i just think back to that bottle of pink lemonade and remember what i realized at that moment. it really is huge for me... and it makes me super happy that i've been able to discover for myself the challenge of sticking to my morals and the reward for knowing exactly where i stand and why through a learning experience.
i guess as i grow up, the content on my blog does too.
realize that it wasn't an easy choice to put this on here (especially since it is pretty much straight from my journal), but god made it so story-esque that i knew it had to be shared.
well, tootles for now.
now, i've debated about whether or not I should share this story so publicly. In fact, at one point i was sure that i wouldn't post it on the blog. but last weekend introduced a new dynamic and a happy ending to this life lesson, so ive decided that i'd like to share it.
what i ask for in return for my honesty is that you will read it all the way through. deal? k, good... lets continue.
there is a part of SMR (snow mountain ranch) that has remained hidden to most and left out of my posts this summer. you kind of have to be staff here... staff that live in the bays... in order to know that drinking is a huge part of "the bays culture." until this summer, i've never really been in proximity of people drinking... never went to those cliche parties with red cups... never had friends that got mixed up in that whole deal... never even saw it. after arriving at SMR and gaining a couple of friends, i've found myself submerged into the world of designated driving and hair holding.
yes, i've been offered a drink many times. yes, i've said "no" everytime, and no, they haven't given me a hard time or pressured me. it's nice to know they respect my choice.
but just because the peer pressure is absent doesn't mean that the temptation and opportunities are absent as well. i'm not saying that i've wanted to drink, i'm just saying that saying "no" is a lot harder than i thought it would be... especially when no one is even asking the question. the drinks are just there--it's not a matter of me just saying "yes" or "no." it's a matter of me deciding in my head exactly what i am or am not going to do. this whole thing hit me hardest about two weeks ago.
5 of us girls who live in the bays got together for a "girl's night" in order to say good-bye to the two of them who were leaving. it was good fun--ice cream, chocolate, stories... and then came happy hour.
out came the bottle of razz bacardi and the two litre bottle of lemonade. the question was asked of me once, and only once, and of course, i politely declined. once it was established who was drinking (them) and who wasn't (me), they pulled out the pink nalgene bottle--the goblet of choice for holding the one part razz bacardi and four parts lemonade cocktail (for the first round, at least).
once mixed, the conversation continued and the pink nalgene began to be passed around the circle of five... take a sip, pass it on... take a sip, pass it on... and then me... pass it on. i tried to play that pass off as if that nalgene didn't tempt me any more than a glass of V8 would. the pink nalgene then continued it's familiar course through the next four girls until it would get to me again. pass it on. another circuit, and it was to me again. funny how although the level of the cloudy mixture got lower with every round, but the level of temptation didn't. what was so tempting? here are the thoughts i found myself facing... in reality, a single sip would do absolutely nothing... in reality, no one but the four would know... in reality, nothing would change. and you know what? i stand by that. a single sip would do nothing... but who's to say that it stops at a sip?
anyhow, i left the room that night mentally exhausted... i wasn't sure how i had made it out without having a drink... i was almost positive that my first drink was coming out of that pink nalgene. what kept me from giving in? at one point in the night, i took a step back to look at the story i was finding myself in the middle of. if i drank, the story would be awful... the timing would be wrong, i'd be with all the wrong people, and the story would be filled with guilt and regret. when and if i do drink, i want it to be at the right time (21) and in the right place (with my closest friends... those i'd want to share the memory with). i walked away that night having learned a ton and lost nothing.
but the story doesn't end there. it wasn't until i was in michigan that this whole waiting for the "right time, right place" idea became a solid choice of mine.
michigan's adventure... as i've already said, it was a good time. it was really good, though, because i had a moment where i realized everything was going to work out just fine.
a group of us were sitting outside of shivering timbers waiting for the rest of the group who had gone on another random ride. we were all just sitting/standing around, and my roommate asked if i wanted to split a drink from the vending machine. being thirsty, i agreed. after going through the ordeal of getting the exact change for the machine, my roommate pressed the button for the pink lemonade.
do you see where this is going? well, if you don't, it's okay... you'll see how long it took me.
so we walked back to the group and opened up the bottle of pink lemonade. she took a sip, passed it to me. i took a sip, and as i did, others had asked for a sip as well. so the bottle of pink lemonade made it's way around our little group. just as the bottle was about to come back to me, it hit me. first, that God is hilarious and is the greatest story maker of all. second, that this is how it was supposed to be. i was with all my friends, having a good time. i watched the pink bottle go around, looked at all my friends having a good time, took note of how stress-free i was, and realized how at home i was. the words "this is how it's supposed to be" just kept ringing through my head. when i looked at the pink bottle of pink lemonade, the choice became so easy for me. that moment was exactly what i needed... and i still laugh that it was pink lemonade... i think God knew that i'd get excited about a connection/symbol like that.
anyhow, so since i've been back, the choice has been easier. i just think back to that bottle of pink lemonade and remember what i realized at that moment. it really is huge for me... and it makes me super happy that i've been able to discover for myself the challenge of sticking to my morals and the reward for knowing exactly where i stand and why through a learning experience.
i guess as i grow up, the content on my blog does too.
realize that it wasn't an easy choice to put this on here (especially since it is pretty much straight from my journal), but god made it so story-esque that i knew it had to be shared.
well, tootles for now.
Tuesday, July 22
how it's supposed to be
So here is an abundance of pictures from the bestest weekend of the summer. I flew in to ohio on Thursday, and we spent Friday and Saturday night in Grand Rap. On Saturday, a group of us headed out to this place called Michigan’s Adventure… pretty much one of the coolest places ever.
You have to understand that it has been a long while since I’ve been to a theme park with hard core coasters… I think knott’s berry farm my freshman year of highschool would be the last time. And you also have to understand that until this past weekend, I believed that I hated roller coasters… absolutely hated them.
Well, turns out things have changed, and I was wrong… cause the first thing we did when we arrived to michigan’s adventure was make our way to Thunderhawk… the new coaster in which your feet dangled and in which you experienced all sorts of twists, turns, flips, and drops… and I LOVED it. It pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day, because we ended up doing other sweet roller coasters… like the two wooden ones, Shivering Timbers and Wildcat.
The cool thing about Michigan’s Adventure is that it is also a water park… so we did a bunch of water slides and what-not as well… and the lazy river (I love the lazy rivers).
It was a blast… the whole weekend was just so great… it was awesome getting to see and hang out with everyone… I’ve missed it quite a bit. When I got to Ohio, I was reminded of the amazing fireflies (which, I caught my first one with the help of my roomie’s siblings…), of the warmth (and humidity), of the sweet thunderstorms at night (there was a sweet one driving back to Grand Rap from the theme park), and of the fact that being out there just felt so at home for me. While at my roomie’s house, we had a little fun with the waterproof camera in her pool… I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.
We even stopped by calvin while in grand rap to check the progress with the construction on the fieldhouse… and to our pleasant surprise, we found that NVW was having major renovations… the four of us (sarah, Carolyn, Lindsey, and me) are all third noorderwierians, and so when we saw that our basement was being re-done (complete with a solarium that connects the two sides of the basement), the lobby was being re-done (complete with a fireplace), and the entrance was being re-done (complete with fanch shmancy brickwork), we were super stoked.
To be honest, It was really hard to leave there and come back to Colorado. I’ve got 41 days til I go back there (yes, I am counting down, no matter how lame that is) and it seems entirely too long.
So, here are a TON of pics from this weekend… there are a ton more, so if you would like to see the complete collection, go to the following links…
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=50162&l=2247a&id=542566513
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=50163&l=dd4ae&id=542566513
that’s it for now… but stay tuned for a post entitled “pink” and for a post about fireflies… I’m kind of excited for them.
(PS. those are fireflies... one of which i caught!)
Monday, July 21
weekend trip
sorry for the delay.
i know i promised a good post a couple of days ago, but considering i haven't had my laptop with me, i think that's a good excuse. in fact, i am still not back to my laptop, so this won't even be the post.
but it will be the precursor to that post.
the exciting thing was that i flew out to ohio on thursday morning. i'll be leaving this afternoon.
i flew out for a couple of reasons... one, i just had to see all my friends out here ("out here" meaning michigan, indiana, ohio)... and this weekend was the perfect time to do that because a friend of mine from grand rap was having a birthday bash where everyone was getting together and going to michigan's adventure (a theme park like knott's and raging waters mixed together). so, with a little bit of help from my friends, we managed to be sneaky and surprise carolyn (the gal whose birthday its was) with me showing up to the grand rapids... it was a good surprise... very unexpected. it's easy to pull something like that off when you're supposed to be in colorado but show up in michigan.
anyhow, so i've been out here for a bit, and to be honest, i am really reluctant to go back to colorado, but it has to be done... especially because my parents are flying out to colorado this thursday... so they'll get to see me in action at my job... cause its going to be busy. we had 5 people on staff in my department leave this past week... that's about half our adventure staff.
so
when i get back to colorado, i'll put up my abundance of pics for y'all to see.
til then, i encourage you all to watch this youtube video called "censored count"
if you can't handle something slightly inappropriate, don't watch it... but i figured, we're all adults here. plus, it doesn't actually say anything bad... it's all in your mind... and it's sesame street... so how bad can it be?
i have a feeling this is going to come back to get me.
whatever-- i'll risk it.
have a good day.
i know i promised a good post a couple of days ago, but considering i haven't had my laptop with me, i think that's a good excuse. in fact, i am still not back to my laptop, so this won't even be the post.
but it will be the precursor to that post.
the exciting thing was that i flew out to ohio on thursday morning. i'll be leaving this afternoon.
i flew out for a couple of reasons... one, i just had to see all my friends out here ("out here" meaning michigan, indiana, ohio)... and this weekend was the perfect time to do that because a friend of mine from grand rap was having a birthday bash where everyone was getting together and going to michigan's adventure (a theme park like knott's and raging waters mixed together). so, with a little bit of help from my friends, we managed to be sneaky and surprise carolyn (the gal whose birthday its was) with me showing up to the grand rapids... it was a good surprise... very unexpected. it's easy to pull something like that off when you're supposed to be in colorado but show up in michigan.
anyhow, so i've been out here for a bit, and to be honest, i am really reluctant to go back to colorado, but it has to be done... especially because my parents are flying out to colorado this thursday... so they'll get to see me in action at my job... cause its going to be busy. we had 5 people on staff in my department leave this past week... that's about half our adventure staff.
so
when i get back to colorado, i'll put up my abundance of pics for y'all to see.
til then, i encourage you all to watch this youtube video called "censored count"
if you can't handle something slightly inappropriate, don't watch it... but i figured, we're all adults here. plus, it doesn't actually say anything bad... it's all in your mind... and it's sesame street... so how bad can it be?
i have a feeling this is going to come back to get me.
whatever-- i'll risk it.
have a good day.
Wednesday, July 16
lucy and tippy
well, this may come as a shock to some... but we have a new addition to the family. this little brown ball of fur has joined the family and has become a new friend for tippy.
this is lucy... she's shitzu pomeranian mix. and as you can see by tippy's extreme lean away from lucy, he's still adjusting to her.
i think they make an adorable couple... and she makes tippy look big... but she is still just a puppy.
that's it for tomorrow... but tomorrow, i'm positive i will have a super exciting post... so do check back.
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