bowling

Rolling thunder, spontaneous crashing, a heavy fog of smoke... and have you ever noticed that it is impossible to feel like you are in any other decade but the 80s when you go bowling? It's not just because of the unimaginably old and colored carpet with stars on it or the dinosaurs of televisions hanging above each lane--there are still the cliched bowling leagues where the people still have mullets, the shirts are still tucked in to whitewashed jeans, and the alcohol flows between frames.

there is no such thing as a modern bowling alley. and that's part of what makes the bowling experience so great.

This week I went bowling for the first time since the summer before freshman year of college. Long time. Very long time. My first two games sucked horribly, and to be honest, I wasn't the happiest camper. I'm not a big fan of not being good at something (competitive much?), and I'm definitely not a fan of having a first-generation color TV tell me I'm not good at something. I think color TV might be stretching it... is there such thing as a blue-and-white TV?

The third game made up for my frustrating scores of 63 and 54... I bowled 5 strikes in a row. My competitive tendencies want to brag. But I will leave it at that.

The lane next to us was occupied by a couple of parents who brought four children to bowl. Have you ever watched children bowl? Generally speaking, there are three techniques children employ when bowling.

#1) The Demolisher: This is the kid who, despite the disproportion between the mass of child and that of the bowling ball, manages to run full speed and launch the ball in the direction of the pins--the child remains fixated on the ball (however slow it may be travelling), and awaits the glorious moment of impact the the child thrives on.

#2) The Hit and Run-er: This is the kid that approaches timidly, drops the ball at their feet (with hardly any forward momentum) and then runs away to hide behind mommy, not even interested in the end result. For them, the fun is in carrying a heavy object and then releasing it--who cares about knocking pins over.

#3) The Second-Thinker: Upon releasing the bowling ball, the child regrets the decision and chases the ball down the lane, learning the painful lesson of traction-less bowling lanes. This is usually a brief phase, and the kid will generally resort to one of the first two techniques mentioned after learning the startling lesson of traction (or lack thereof).

Adults approach bowling much differently. I will only go into one type, though. This is the type that believes there is still some shred of control over the bowling ball after release and display such belief through leaning left, kicking their leg out right, turning the head, crouching down, waving the hands... yes, somehow leaning to the left will make the ball go left.

It's rather ridiculous, yet a lot of people (including myself) do this. Absurd, really. I control the release with a specific target in mind, dislike the path the ball is taking, and then flail my body about as if I can somehow control it and change the course.