.

here's a pic from last weekend when i went to go visit tessa in the hospital after she was born!

JSB and Displace Me

JSB... twas a fun night, but a late night. the MC show was quite lame for the first 3 quarters of it, but it picked up a little with the awards and a funny video. (somehow brittany spears and michael jackson were topics for part of the show, making it quite random and pointless). the food was great, the dancing was fun. i must say though that the pre-JSB was fun as well. yall know i am a last minute person, so my wardrobe had a few last minute changes. it wasn't until i was about to leave that i realized i hadn't done aything with my hair. funny sidenote: during JSB, people talked about where they got their hair done, how they did it, what they did, and what not. when i was asked to say how i did my hair and where... "i found this really cool place called my bathroom, and there is this new technology called a towel that i used... really cheap too. and then i wore a hair wrap-thing that i borrowed from a friend (thanks again!) which i picked up on the way over to where everyone was meeting ." last minute stuff... fun stuff

and then as we were all waiting to take pictures, i realized that the beading on my dress was falling off in three different places... our solution?

hot glue gun.

i wish i had pictures of this, us all gathered in the bathroom, hot-glueing my dress... quite hilarious.

i think the getting ready part was a lot of fun.

as was the footwear :)

look below for more pics

pre-prom pics

my original date for JSB... Max the sloth... however, he clashed with my ensemble, so i left him behind...

jenny, tina and i traded corsages... stag people, unite!
and then we tried to eat them... not so delicious.

i love the faces of: jillian, kristen, jenny, and myself :)

stories and dance pics to come tomorrow... i have to go prepare for "displace me"

smells like teen... something

there's a buzz...
people are mysteriously turning two shades tanner, hair is getting shorter (and did you know it could be made longer too?), toes are being pampered, when people ask, "what does it look like?" they are not referring to the flag of grand fenwick (senior play people), canteen sales have gone down, and lots of speeches are being made about making reservations (in heaven that is).
yup, it's prom day... actually, JSB (junior-senior banquet), and it is amazing how it is just the center of the world right now. we had a half day of school (got out after 4th period) which most girls took advantage of by getting hair appointments in and what-not. personally, i took advantage of it by going to incredible burger and then taking a nap when i got home. i did go get that pedicure (and i can't believe the torture when that lady started touching the bottom of my feet... if you ever need to get something out of me, tickling is the way to do it because i am a weak little sucker) but it was really nice because i had a gift certificate i could use.
anyway... i'm supposed to leave in 45 minutes to meet at my friends house, so i best be getting ready now...

ta ta my friends
blessings to your friday night!

(i forgot to tell the story about last night... i'll make it quick... i went to dave & busters for the first time with some friends, and it was karaoke night... i did my first solo ever (embarassing but fun... old time rock & roll). what a night!)

Life is worth breathing

I'd like you all to take a deep breath before you begin to read the post... honestly, i don't think we take enough intentional deep breaths... it's good for you... plus it feels amazing.

feel good?

good.

i realized i haven't mentioned tennis in a while... but it's not that i haven't been playing, cause i have been playing, and it feels as good as ever. it's just hard for me to think that my next competitive season isn't until late next winter. but that's okay, i just need patience... the season will come.
of course, unless we all die of global warming first... but i'll take my chances.
speaking of shoes...
unfortunately, i think the time has come for my chick-fil-a fun to come to an end... i've been looking at the calendar, and there are only 3 more saturdays after this saturday (which i am not working) before i plan on being done... however, i need to take next satruday off, and the saturday after that... leaving only one saturday :( that would make may 19th my last day of working at chick-fil-a... bummer. it's a good thing though, i need to remember that i am doing this so i can spend more time hanging out before i take off, and it's not like i was in this job for the money... pure experience... each time i got a paycheck it was a pleasant, "ooo, that's fun!" not a, "that's all!?"

JSB this friday... everything is set, except i don't know what i am going to do with my hair... i was thinking maybe something resembling a mo-hawk... or even fro-ing it...
hmmm
suggestions?
i think i am also going to get a pedicure cause i think my feet may be getting some attention that night... those of you who know my choice of footwear know why :) just pray for safety for whoever does the pedicure because i am insanely ticklish and cannot control how my feet/legs will react.

i hope your week is finding you well...
if not, stop hiding : )

hooroo

putt putt putt

i love that i am still having some fun times driving my car... here's today's...

2:45, bell rang, and we were finally done with the day.
me and jenny were on our way home and about to turn left on to carpintero...
just as we turn on...
putt putt putt
i push on the accelerator and the car barely starts to coast...
uh oh
try again... still the 5mph coast.
so we coasted down all the way down carpintero at 5mph with the emergency lights on to keep people from becoming angry and honking and doing mean gestures. i even rolled through the stop sign out of fear that the car might stop if i put on the brakes. we get to ponderosa, about to turn left and
putt putt putt pphhhh...
dead...
nothing
about 20 yards away from home, all ready to turn left, and the car just dies.
so with the help of a friendly stranger (who first offered candy, which i gladly accepted, before he offered help), mi amigas jillian and jenny, we got the car pushed into my driveway.
my gas light had only been on for a day... maybe 2... and i know the limits of my car rather well, so i guess this time i got caught off guard and learned a valuable lesson... actually, i can't think of a lesson learned...
i've just got a funny story now
:)

poor car...
i'll make it up to him

small

what a weekend
when i look back on it, i think there is one word to sum it up... small.
first of all, i must say that the amount of free time this weekend was quite small with projects, volunteering, and working... rather busy.
but the highlight of the weekend was definitely getting to go visit the fieldhouses in the hospital and meeting tessa for the first time... i don't know if you guys knew this (i think it's common knowledge) but babies are small... and when i got to hold her, the small-ness became a much different reality than i've known before... i mean she wasn't even a day old yet! let me tell you, this girl just melts your heart when you hold her!

but i also realized this... there is life in this little baby... and i got to thinking through these past few days, that we are born with life (well, duh, but hear me out). of course we don't stay small forever, we eventually grow... but i think that life is always as small as it was the day we were born... life is still as fragile as that day. why am i getting all semi-philosophical with this?

i just got news that one of my good friends from the tennis camp i did in hawaii this summer died. my age. senior in high school. he lost control of his car on a highway, got thrown from his car as it flipped multiple times. he wasn't found until the morning after and was found dead.

small
life is very small

a day to celebrate

today was a long day... broken carabiners while voluntering, mystery brown liquids splashing in my face while taking out the trash at chick-fil-a, an ant covered kitchen, and things on walls that shouldn't be on walls.
but today is a day to celebrate because today, tessa joy fieldhouse was welcomed into the world :)
only one day out and she is already making people's days brighter!

a-weighted rains

los angeles is on track for the driest year in a long... and until today, we hadn't had a single april shower.
well as of today, our first april shower. so if we only have one april shower, will we only have one may flower?
i must say that it has been a pleasant rain. however, there is something different about the rain drops that fall today, at least to me. i tooke extra time between classes while walking in the rain, slowed my pace to observe it a little. since there hasn't been any wind, the rain falls straight down. it is quite a sight.
however the lack of wind is not the only reason that the rain falls so direct... if you ask me, i think that the rain is heavier today. not heavier in the amount of rainfall, heavier in the rain drops are larger and actually have considerable weight. while walking in the rain, i could feel its weight... hard to explain, but maybe you understand.
as i sit hear writing this, an enourmous downpour just happened... and i am so tempted to go run out there right now...

maybe...

almost done with my book... gonna go finish it... and then i am gonna just leave and go on a road trip... forget school... you don't learn life, you experience it.

oh if only

state of moon

did you see the moon smile tonight?
i did.
it was a faint smile behind the clouds, but it was clear enough to see if you knew where to look. as it smiled down on the night, i almost half-expected it to say something to me, some kind of answer or some kind of question. but as i looked at it more and stretched my ears, the smile faded behind the clouds and the seriousness of storm and night came over.
i've decided to visit the moon someday. it doesn't seem like it is too difficult of a destination, and if you ask me, it's perfectly safe. the chances of aliens waiting there to adult-nap me are very slim. i'll bring along some water crackers to have with the cheese that i expect to find... maybe those crackers will please the aliens if they are there... foreign foods are always a hit... and i think earth is rather foreign to those aliens.
do you think the moon has cancellation stamps?
i might bring my tennis gear with me... and i'll make sure to buy clay court shoes before i go. i wonder if the ball is as slow there as it is at the french open... i bet nadal would be undefeated on moon surface as well.
i'd need a space trip buddy... just like any road trip, a space trip should not be taken alone. we'll be sure to take tours, maybe rod and his staff will guide us. i'm sure it'll be a blast, crawling in craters and all.

any takers.

peace

technical difficulties

blogger seems to be having problems with pics, so sadly my flip flop is not visible right now... it will come back though, i promise.
EDIT: i told you i'd get it back... bet you didnt even know it was gone... :)

and i forgot to mention the weird dream i had last night...
in a short summarized form, in my living room i was feeding hundreds of storks tube socks so that i could escape and eat my breakfast. crazy, i know. i won't even tell you what the dream dictionary interpreted it as.

un libro

i am reading a book right now for my independant reading project... the best thing about this reading project is that we got to choose what book we wanted to read as long as my teacher approved it... no list or anything that we had to choose from.
anyway, i've been meaning to read the book "through painted deserts" by don miller for quite some time cause i've heard it's good, and so by choosing this book for my project, i made it so that i had to read. let me tell you, i am so glad i chose this book. i've harldy past page 60, so i am not that far along, but i am loving this book. i love this guy's writing style! he just writes so well an thinks of some things that you have to wonder, how in the world did he get to thinking this?
so everything about this book is really good, except for one thing...
reading this book makes me want to grab a buddy, hop in a v-dub bus, and go on a road trip, and although that would normally be a good reaction, it's not good when i am still in school and am incapable of doing so for an extended period of time because of school. oh well, the time shall come :)
and this will sound weird, but so far, my favorite part is the author's note in the beginning... honestly, this guy's writing is genious.
oh, and another cool thing is that one of his writing inspirations is anne lamott, the author of my last independent reading novel... yay for connections being made.
well, i hope your week is finding you well...

is that a saying? i'm not sure. it just sounds like i've heard it somewhere before.

I don't think the apple is the issue...

sin...
that's been the topic in my reformed doctrine class and in my bible study this past week. to be quite honest, i don't spend much time thinking about sin or confession, but after these past few days, i've been thinking about it a lot. my thoughts aren't necesarily nicely organized as of this moment, so i hope you can follow my train of thoughts.

when you were younger, or i guess even now, did you ever wonder what the world would be like without sin? i used to think about it all the time as a kid. i remember thinking of all the things that would be gone if sin were to vanish. i figured there would be no money because of the sins that come from that, there would be no weapons, no apples (well, because after all thats what started it all), no spiders (no deep reason for that one, i just didn't (and still don't) like spiders)...pretty much anything bad would vanish.
now, those were my thoughts as a kid, but i think most of us still have the same principles in our minds with what we think of a sinless world. we believe that in order for there to be no sin, all these things would no longer be in this world.
however, after these past few days of thinking and pondering, i've realized that the apple isn't really the issue. sin doesn't exist because of the apple... sin doesn't exist because of weapons or because of money, and certainly not because of spiders... sin doesn't exist because of our circumstances. sin exists because of us.
can you see where i am coming from?
let me repeat the last part a little... we don't sin because of the circumstances around us! the sin is in us... the sin is in me! i think that completely took my mind for a spin! realizing this kind of puts a whole new responsibility in me to own up to the fact that i am a sinner not because of apples, but because of me.
this connects to confession in a huge way. i think partly why i don't have a strong discipline in confession is because in my heart, i kind of believed that i really wasn't the one to blame. after all, i am in this corrupt world, right? if all this bad stuff were gone, i wouldn't be sinning, right? it's just my circumstances right now...
NO!
when i realized this, it hit home with me... confession is something i really need to take seriously because it is something that i am responsible for. there was a part in my bible study that said so often we, myself included, turn our confessions into excuses... i only did it because the apple looked so good... stop being a whimp, own up to it (i know, WAY easier said than done).
man, what an awakening this was for me.
there's much more, and i encourage yall to think about some of this stuff... it think it tends to be the part of christianity that gets over looked the most.

have a good day, and don't blame it on the apple :)

Didn't you hear?

70% chance of the sky falling today!
At least, that's what i told people when they asked me why in the world i was wearing a helmet.
yup, that's right.
after finishing my post last night, i thought to myself, you know what? maybe wearing a helmet will help... hmm.
today, woke up, grabbed my bike helmet, went to school put it on. i only took it off when i was inside class because i think it's considered a hat and we can't wear hats in class.
few things:
one, it was actually really comfy... it was rather cushy and snug...i really liked wearing it.
two, totally made the day go by faster... with people giving weird looks and queationing my choice of accesories for the day, never a dull moment. lots of funny questions (and looks) but when asked why, all i said was that the sky was gonna fall today and then walked away.
i don't think i've had such a great monday.
Advice: when expecting to hit the running ground, i suggest wearing a helmet...
it works.

i am going to hit the running ground

thats right... i did not say hit the ground running, but hit the running ground.
that's what tomorrow is going to be like.
here's a rather suffice analogy: going to school tomorrow is going to be like trying to step out of a car onto the road... while the car is going 60 mph. that's a running ground... the ground is running rather fast beneath your feet, and well, we all know that when you are not moving the same speed, it's not gonna be pretty.
i must say, what a most excellent way to end the break though.
i love you guys! (i've still got the grin :)
so then i got curious...
now i am an adult, right? if you break it down... a dult. A dult. so whats a dult?
thats what i was curious about. A "dult" is actually norwegian for "a nudge, little push."
take from it what you want... i'm not going to go into this, but i thought it was really neat...
so there you go... you now know how to say "nudge" in norwegian.

have a nice monday...
maybe wearing a helmet will help.

: O

initial reaction: run away...

what else would you do when you come home (in my chick-fil-a uniform) from working all day and then babysitting, and then walk in to your house where it is dark and where all of your awesome friends and family are sitting, waiting to throw tennis balls at you?

"oy ve" is right!

it was so much fun... karaoke (thanks chrissy for starting it up with quite an excellent rendition of "hit me with your best shot"), a tennis theme (thanks mark, allison, danielle and jenny... the faithful few that dressed up :), embarassing movies being showed, a decapitated pinata, and so much fun because i had all my friends and family in one place... so much love in one house... THANKS TO EVERYONE!

you know, when you are finally let in on a big secret/surprise, you really start to look back and wonder, how in the world did i not catch on... the rest of the night i found myself saying, "so that's why..." and it all becomes so clear... supposedly this thing has been in the working for a few weeks. i almost feel kind of oblivious for not figuring it out... "i'm sure you'll do something fun..." my mom had to make a ton of meat balls for some "church event", my mum calling on my cell to talk to jenny, running in to my dad at golden spoon after work... and then now, i am hearing all the behind-the-back stories, and i honestly feel so oblivious.

anyway

i can't stinkin wipe the grin off of my face when thinking about how awesome it was to have everyone here... such a blessing!

picture time!

yes, that is my flip-flop

i couldn't quite figure out what i wanted to do with my blog... i wanted to change the colors, but i couldn't do so with the header that i had because it was actually an image...
anyway, i tried to figure out what color scheme i wanted to use and how to personalize it a bit more, and then it came to me...
there is one thing that pretty much goes wherever i go, and when asked my favorite colors, i can basically point to it.
indeed, my flip flop.
my flip flops have defined my style in many ways, why not have them define my site :) and i can almost guarantee that almost every story i tell happens while i am wearing my flip flops... so they are kind of a symbol... or maybe i am going way too far with it :)
so, this is going to be it for a while... i appreciate the comments, and i think this may do it... and it's going to have to do, because i am not going to be changing this for quite a while.

hooroo

don't you hate when you drop your ice cream?

okay, so this picture has nothing to do with this post. i just wanted to share it.

anyway, yesterday i went to sea world! i love that place :) have you ever seen a picture of the backside of a polar bear???

i went with my friends from house church (my little bud malachi and his mom). anyway, this little boy is hilarious and we had a fun time. it was a little bit harder for him later in the day because he didn't get a nap (and we all know what it's like when we don't get out nap). after a long day of animals and shows, me and rachel were guessing how long it would take for malachi to fall asleep once we got in the car, and so we timed it. no joke, he was out within a single minute!!! what a cool kid :)

YAY or NAY

okay, i changed up the look a bit... but i need opinions... be honest please... i've already gotten a major NAY, so don't be afraid to say whatever...

whatever the weather

the calvin college webcam is one of the tabs that pops up when we open the internet, and yesterday, everything was green and sunny. just now, i looked at it, and there's a nice blanket of snow! the little weather icon says "33 degrees, light ice pellets." it may just be that i've been in california all my life, but i have never ever seen "ice pellets" as part of the forecast before. i see that and i don't know whether to wear a helmet or what. is there a difference between hail and ice pellets?
i was just talking to a friend about how we check the weather forecast so we know what to wear (even though i am limited when it comes to dressing for school). but anyway, wouldn't it be hilarious if someone gave the forecast in terms of what to wear? for instance, today's weather is going to be long sleeves with a chance of shorts... wouldn't that be awesome?!
back to the webcam... i was just thinking about how awesome it would be to go to sleep one day when it's a rather nice day outside, and then waking up to a layer of white outside of the dorm room window... how exciting!
and yesterday, i did go and play the lottery for my first time... i bought a $1 scratcher and $1 mega millions lotto ticket... psh, the lady didn't even card me!! anyway, i picked 5 numbers, and a mega number. here's something funny though. the night before, i tried to let random numbers come to mind and then remembered them for the ticket, however, when i went to mark the number 57 on my ticket, i started laughing my head off when i saw that the numbers only go up to 56. :) so with the scratcher, it was you scratch all 6 boxes and if three of the six boxes are matching, then thats what you win... the first box i scratched said $1000. i nearly flipped!!! so i scratched the next... $3... and the next... $3.... and the next... $6.... and the next... $50... and the next...$500. i didn't win anything... bummer. i chose the cow scratcher because, well, the cow's been a good thing for me lately so why not go with the cow :)
so then at 8pm, i turned on the tv to check the numbers ( i chose 4 17 29 32 51 and mega number 44)
not a single number matched for me.
my dad turns to me and says, you learned a valuable lesson tonight about the lottery, right?
i nodded: "indeed i have... you need to buy more than just one ticked in order have any chance of winning!!!!!!"

good stuff...
well, gotta go make dinner!

chow

lemonade!!!

yet another birthday surprise :)

an underwater celebration

what a better way to celebrate than with golden spoon, brownies, and a bunch of friends looking ridiculously hilarious as they sing "happy birthday" underwater-style! (underwater is when you sing while, i think it's called babbling... you know when you move your finger up and down over your lips to "babble"... there's gotta be a word for it....i've never had to describe that before...)
anyway, it was the best birthday song i've ever recieved, and i SO wish i had a camera, because i was cracking up... and to top it off, golden spoon (pistachio, my favorite) on top of a brownie... it was quite delicious! thanks amigas!

so as i sleep tonight, i will go through a magical transformation that takes me from a child today to an adult tomorrow... amazing stuff.
you might want to watch the news tomorrow, because i, the youngest winner of the lotto, will be on it.
true that.

this is why i am not going to visit my friends in guyana...

if i can't hand those tiny little specks of a spider, i am pretty sure i would pass out if one of these monsters crossed my path.

i nearly started crying when i saw this pic.

look at the pics below from easter!

18 hours, 11 grape leaves, 7 bottles of water, 3 large meals, and one sugar free (not caffeine free) energy drink later...

woke up at 4:30 this morning... yeh, it's early, but it was fun. our house church did a sunrise service at the beach. due to the cloudiness, we didn't exactly see the sun, but it was still an awesome morning.


later today, for lunch, i took my parents to lunch with my house church where we had some amazing food and a good time.
then it was off to meal number three where things got a little crazy... lets just say that jenny came along, my bros and their girlfriends were there, and i kind of went a bit crazy. it wasn't sugar though... it started with the AMAZING grapeleaves... which i had 11 of. and i had already had 3 bottles of water by then in a matter of an hour and a half. water gives me energy and lots of it. dinner was followed by more water (four more to be exact) and an XS energy drink... lets just say things got a bit crazy and i don't remember much... maybe the picture will help to explain??? (by the way, one picture imparticular was STAGED, NOT REAL...)















(staged)

can you tell that we had fun today??? : )

feel the breeze

sat down for my sedar meal tonight, and for some reason could feel the chair through my pants...
oops
i completely split my pants (a horizontal split right at the bottom of my back pocket)! i was so shocked, and since i haven't had experience in this happening before, i had no idea what to do, so i leaned over to my friend and told her what happened. she acted as my human screen as we went off to find a sweatshirt to wear around my waist... i haven't worn a sweatshirt around my waist since 4th grade.
anyway, i'm bummed because these are my favorite pants (i've had them since 8th grade), but i am excited to patch them up... i am going to find a fun/fun colored patch.
it was a funny experience... quite funny.
so ya, today was a day of celebration for passover... the sedar meal. i celebrated twice, once with Land Culture Book, and once with my house church. i have to say that it is such an awesome celebration... so much symbolism, so much remembrance, so much history... i love it.
well, i'm off... don't forget to scroll down and enjoy the most hilarious picture below!!!!
"what?"

YAY FOR SPRING BREAK

just got done taking a test...

and i'd much rather be doing what i was doing yesterday...
me and my mother were rebelious yesterday and instead of going to school we just hung out and stayed productive. we even found our way to ikea where we enjoyed some delicious swedish meatballs.
it was one of my strategically planned absences (i had two remaining before yesterday).
so i cleaned up my room, and even rearranged a little bit. sweet stuff, fun stuff.
so, it's off to lunch now...
i guess i will see yall later

tomorrow's a special day...

and to celebrate i will put a psalm that pretty much sums it up... i couldn't figure out which translation to use because i like how both of them say it, so i will put both up... first i'll put the NIV, and then i'll do parts of the message,

---------------
1 I will exalt you, O LORD,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
2 O LORD my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me.
3 O LORD, you brought me up from the grave;
you spared me from going down into the pit.

4 Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

6 When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken."
7 O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm;
but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.
8 To you, O LORD, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy:
9 "What gain is there in my destruction,
in my going down into the pit? Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
10 Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me; O LORD, be my help."

11 You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
12 that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

------------------------

1 I give you all the credit, God— you got me out of that mess,
you didn't let my foes gloat.
2-3 God, my God, I yelled for help
and you put me together.
God, you pulled me out of the grave,
gave me another chance at life
when I was down-and-out.

11-12 You did it: you changed wild lament
into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
and decked me with wildflowers.
I'm about to burst with song;
I can't keep quiet about you.
God, my God,
I can't thank you enough.

have a good day!!!!!!

well i'll be fooled (AND VERY ANGRY!)

as you all know i have a tennis match at 4pm today... and despite the fact that i indeed am very sore and have to walk backwards down the stairs), i've been loosening up a bit and decided that i was just going to go out and have some fun doing what i like to do most... hit a fuzzy yellow tennis ball around a court.
so, about 10 minutes ago i went on the tournament website to get the address cause i'd be leaving in an hour. out of curiousity, i wanted to see how the other half of the draw did yesterday and when the finals would be if i managed to make my way through this match.
i see the finals are at 2pm... wait, it says 2pm april first.... how in the world can they have the finals at 2pm if the semifinals arent until 4pm?
i look at the semifinals... 10:30 am.
: O
what in the world... i started to freak out and quickly grabbed the phone to call them. i explained to the lady that i've been checking the time all week and it's been 4pm the whole time... they even sent me a card in the mail that said match time was april 1st 4pm. the lady then proceeds to tell me that they changed it on thursday and that it is my fault that i missed my match because i didn't check the night before... after explaining a second time that it was my fault after i asked her if there was anyway i could play, she told me she would change the match result from a "no-show" to a "tournament error." psh, a tournament error where the other girl gets a free walk in to the finals.
now, most of you are probably thinking it's probably better that i don't play today since it would give my body a rest... but i have to say otherwise, because of a few reasons...
i was SO looking forward to this, and i dont get to play tournaments that often due to busy schedules. also, i stinkin wasted $35 dollars... i tried to see if i could get my money back, but she explained (again) that it was my fault.
so, looks like this april fool's day made a fool out of me.
stinkies