a) idiot b) utterly confused c) dummy

the answer is c) dummy.
here's why:

it was about 2:oo in the afternoon, and i'd just gotten back from a birthday party for a little buddy of mine who just turned 1. fun stuff. and to follow up that fun, i had decided to get at my calculus homework. it had been waiting for me in the back of my car since school got out that afternoon more than two weeks ago. so i dragged my backpack in and sat in my chair and pulled out my worksheet. i read the first problem:
an object moves along the x-axis with initial position x(0)=2. The velocity of the object at time t>0 is given by v(t)=sin(t*pi/3). what is the acceleration of the object at time t=4?
I read it again... and again... and then a fourth time. I didn't get it, so i went to the next problem, but didn't get that one either. I needed some serious help because i couldn't understand any of the problems!
You know those books you always see at the bookstore that are yellow and always make you chuckle... you know, the "something and what-not for dummies." or the orange ones, "idiot's guide to whatever." I've heard they were good, so i decided to make a trip to the bookstore.
When i got to borders, i looked around trying to figure out where exactly these books would be. I half expected to see a big sign that said "dummy books here," but there wasn't one. instead i headed to the refrence section. I checked under "foreign language" because that's exactly what calculus is. to my surprise, it wasn't there. after much searching, i found the math help books in the science section, in the same aisle as "self help." i first looked for the dummies book, but didn't find it. i found the idiot's guide to calculus, and next to it was a book titled Calculus for the Utterly Confused. So i grabbed both and, being the sitter that i am, i sat down to compare both books and leaned back on the the self help book shelf. I started reading through both and found myself really frustrated because 1) calculus stinks 2)neither of these books were that good and 3)calculus stinks. out of the frustration that brewed, i started to hit my head on the self-help book shelf, and of course, due to my disturbing the bookshelf, a book slid off and fell on to my head and then to the floor. it was paperback, so it didn't hurt. before returning the book to its place on the shelf, i realized that it was an orange idiot's guide book. i checked to see which one it was, and no joke, it was The Idiot's Guide to Overcoming Procrastination. No joke. Dead serious. Now, God sure does have a sense of humor because if any of you know me at all, you would know that procrastination is one of my biggest strengths, i mean weaknesses. I couldn't help but look up and laugh at life's irony and actually almost considered buying the book. However, i ended up putting all three books back and went off to barnes and noble in long beach to find the Dummies book. Not only was it better than these books, but it also wasn't as harsh as "idiot," so i would feel better buying it.
I found the Calculus for Dummies rather easily at Barnes, and glanced through it to see that indeed it was a better book.
So now i am home, and have managed to procrastinate a bit more by sharing this story with you all. However, the story ends here, and I am afraid that I, the dummy, must begin reading and hopefully begin understanding the language of calculus.

Ciao for now.